I’ve been reviewing sex toys for so long now, I can often tell how a product will work for me before I use it. Sometimes I can see it, sometimes I know by how the toy feels in my hands. But every so often something comes along that throws me for a loop. When this happens, my experience means nothing. I have to take some time to learn how to make the thing work for me. One such toy is the You2Toys Rotating G & P Spot Machine.
I was totally over the moon when Orion Versand sent me this cute little machine to review. I expected to get on with it straight away cos I’m not a stranger to sex machines. But this saddle style is much different from what I’m used to.
It’s actually smaller than I envisioned it would be. I was thinking along the lines of my Liberator Pulse but it’s not as big. The dimensions of the You2Toys Rotating G & P Spot Machine are:
- Height = 7”
- Length = 15”
- Width = 10”
One of the many nicknames the Fella uses for me is little legs. Yep, they are short, stubby things. He reckons my weeness is cute, but it can be a hindrance for me sometimes, especially as I’m rather wide. I can’t fuck him when he’s sat on a dining chair, for instance. My feet don’t touch the floor and my size makes sitting on him uncomfortable in more ways than one. Even using my Liberator BonBon can be a bit of a struggle sometimes if the dildo I’m using is large cos I can’t really lift high enough to actually thrust.
Because of that struggle, I was quite pleased to find that this sex machine is compact enough for me to wriggle right down on it and still have room to move. I sat on it and I was comfy. My thighs didn’t feel like they were jammed against the sides. It wasn’t so high that I didn’t have control over my legs. And the build is quality enough for me to feel safe, I didn’t have to worry that my weight would crumple the bloody thing like a Coke can.
The outer cover of the You2Toys Rotating G & P Spot Machine is PU leather. So, vegan folks can give it a shot if they wanna. It’s black with purple trimmings and is wipe clean. There’s a zip that runs around the bottom edge of the machine, so I thought it might be removeable, but it isn’t. I considered digging the concealed zip-pull out from beneath its cover. But then I realised that the recess which houses the thrusting arm is sealed. If I took the outer cover off I’d break that seal, and then probably the toy next time I used it.
Speaking of the thrusting arm, it’s situated right at the centre of the top of the machine. The attachments, of which there are two, need to be pushed on and pulled off carefully but confidently. It’s normal for the arm to move under the pressure, depending on its position when you last switched it off.
So, the attachments. Like I said, You2Toys have included two, both of which are purple silicone. And they’ve thrown a vibrator in for good measure, too. It’s made of PU coated ABS plastic and is also purple. Something that surprised me about both of the attachments is how small the are. They’re just 4.5” in total length, which seemed okay in my hand, but once they were fitted to the machine they looked tiny. I really did wonder if they would even penetrate deep enough to find my G-spot and it isn’t even all that far up in me.
The G & P Spot Dildo
This is the hooked attachment. The one that peeps out of the top of the machine, looking for all the world like the Loch Ness Monster. And it’s very slender, at just 3.5” in circumference, with no texturing to give the impression of a larger size.
It’s intended to rock forward against our front walls to seek out and stimulate our hotspots. I’m not the sharpest pencil in the box and it took me far too long to figure out which way the hook was supposed to face. So embarrassing!
Anyway, at its lowest point of the thrust the G & P Spot attachment protrudes just 2.5” from the mouth of the machine. At its highest, it sticks up a shade over 3”. This is super short in my opinion and will make it impossible for some folks to get any stimulation from it.
The Dotted Dildo
This attachment is slightly more phallic than the other. It’s a straight up and down affair with an obvious head which has a maximum girth of 4”. The shaft is a slightly slimmer 3.5”. But to make up for its tidgyness it’s covered in rows of small spots. The silicone is quite thick and firm, being reinforced in the upper half, so it feels a bit bigger than it is in use.
There’s more girth here, so potentially more of an internal presence. G & P Spot stimulation is less achievable though. The maximum height in use is 4”, and the lowest is around 3”. Given that the two attachments are the same size, I struggle to understand why one is longer in use than the other. Shape, maybe?
The Vibrator
This battery powered vibe is 5” long and is controlled by a wheel at the end of the battery cap. It needs to AAAs to work and is as about as good as it looks. The vibes are buzzy, and I don’t find it suitable for my needs at all. I like that it’s included, though, cos not everyone has a clit as hungry as mine.
It has a girth of 3.5” but its weighted tip makes it feel kinda weighty, and therefore a bit thicker. On the top of the You2Toys Rotating G & P Spot Machine is a Velcro trimmed strap. The vibe is supposed to be placed beneath that strap so that the clit or perineum can press against it.
Working It
The control panel is situated on the front panel of the base. It’s a scroll wheel that sticks out almost an inch. That makes it easy to locate and adjust no matter what position you sit in. There’s no feeling about for buttons, no scrambling around left and right to find a dropped control box. It’s all right there where it’s needed.
You’ll also find the port for the cable here, too, just beneath the control knob. The cable has an EU plug on the end, so to use it outside of the EU (and in the UK) you’ll need an adapter.
Using it
We wouldn’t be us if using the You2Toys Rotating G & P Spot Machine for the first time wasn’t a complete farce. As I clambered on top of the G & P Spot attachment for its maiden voyage the Fella laughed and said, “Up periscope!” After I finished dying with laughter I realised that I hadn’t switched the thing on at the wall, and once that was done I realised that I’d forgotten lube.
It took some manoeuvring to get the initial positioning of my orifice over the dildo right. With it being so short I found it difficult to insert it with my fingers cos my vulva was too close to the body of the toy and my hand didn’t really fit. When I did get it in that way it would pop out again as soon as I lifted a bit to get my hand out.
In the end, I had to lean slightly forward, and the Fella knelt behind me. He directed me onto the fucking dildo in the exact way he directs someone parking a car. Left a bit, right a bit, back…back…no forward…STOP! I have to admit I was rather harassed by the time I got my arse settled.
The lowest speeds are super slow. I couldn’t feel much at all. It wasn’t until I got halfway around the dial before I started to get some pleasant sensations. My instinct was to move with it but that just resulted in the dildo slipping out. I had to swivel my hips instead. While doing this, I realised that I didn’t really like the arch like movement inside of me. It wasn’t enough stimulation on my G-Spot, I prefer constant contact, and this pulls fully away.
To combat that, I shifted back a bit, reducing the arm’s scope a bit. It stalled at first, but once I turned the power up to full it held its own. Each thrust dragged down my front wall at this angle and constant G-Spot contact was achieved. I had a vibe tucked under the front strap. It wasn’t the vibe provided but a longer one, girthier one, and I was able to get clitoral contact, too. It didn’t take long for me to come and there was a bit of gushing, but I didn’t squirt from the stimulation. I was pleased about that, to be fair, cos I don’t think the stitching would prevent so much fluid leaking through.
As for the Dotted Dildo, I’m not a huge fan. In theory I should be, cos I love textured insertables. But for vaginal play it shot too straight and I didn’t really get much from it at all. And when using it anally, which I really thought would be a winner with this one, the machine just stalled. Repeatedly.
Maybe it’s cos I have a big arse and it had to push through my mighty cheeks before it found my butthole. It barely penetrated me, so I didn’t get anything from it there either. The G-Spot attachment made contact with my fave spot just inside my anus, but the stalling made adequate stimulation difficult to achieve. Folks with less fleshy rears might fare better than I did.
Cleaning It
Keeping this type of machine clean is easier than I thought it would be. Wiping down the PU leather with a damp cloth or a wet wipe does that job. Washing the attachments in soapy water does that one. The vibe isn’t waterproof so that needs wiping. The only difficult part is the recess with the arm. It’s very narrow so getting in it and around all the dips and folds in the material takes work. And then there’s drying it so that it doesn’t go mouldy. As for storage, I’ve just kept the box. The super porny sleeve is just stuck to a plain white box with double sided tape so it’s easily removed and slung. That leaves you with a large box, sure, but it’s not obvious what’s inside.
To be quite honest with you, I can’t decide whether I love this toy or not. I can get off with it, it is comfy, and it is easy to use. What makes me hesitant is its price. It costs 300 Euro at Orion, which is around £270. You can pick up a decent long-arm thrusting sex machine from £200. That style of machine gives you endless options for dildos rather than the current two that the You2Toys Rotating G & P Spot Machine does. It gives you more choice when it comes to position, offers more when it comes to depth of penetration.
I think if you’re looking for something compact this machine is definitely a solid option. If you don’t need deep penetration it’ll probably suit you. If you’re at your most comfortable with slender dildos, it has you covered. But if you need a good, hard fuck with intense g-spot stimulation, you might be a little disappointed.
To try one for yourself, click the banner below grab one from Bondara in their sale for just £184 (usually £199.99).
