I know that, sooner or later, the day will come when Womanizer – ah, my beloved Womanizer – will do something that will make me frown. What I don’t know is what form this sigh-inducing ‘upgrade’ will take. Will they make an attachment that’s so flat it won’t be able to find my clit? Or will they add *horrified gasp* patterns and destroy the awesome suction sensations their products never fail to deliver? When Lovehoney sent me the Womanizer Premium Clitoral Stimulator for review, its fancy new features had me worried. Would this be the one to disappoint me?
On the face of it, the Womanizer Premium is cracking. Immediately noticeable through the window in the pretty new packaging is that this model is a streamlined take on the original shape. It’s sleeker and more pointed, kinda like the Pro40 except slightly curved with a more ergonomically shaped ‘handle’.
Aside from a golden plastic trim near the base of the unit, the whole thing is coated in luxuriously soft silicone. It comes in red, black, and white. I opted for the red one and I’m so glad I did cos it’s glorious. Such a deep, rich colour and surprisingly uncommon.
The treatment heads (you get 2 – one small and one medium) are red silicone, too. While they are removeable, they’re specific to this model, which makes the Womanizer Premium one of just four Womanizer toys that don’t take the heads of the original. The others are the 2Go, InsideOut, and Classic, if you’re wondering. Though I believe that the Premium and Classic share the same sized heads.
Something else that’s different about it is the charger. Like the InsideOut, it has a magnetic USB charger. I’m still not a massive fan of these magnetic things, but the connection on this one isn’t too bad. I won’t be swinging it around my head any time soon, but it doesn’t come undone with knocks and shifts. Still, it’s maddening that this is the third style of charger Womanizer toys have. They started with micro USB, switched to pin chargers, then back to USB for a bit before going magnetic. I’ve had folks ask which models share chargers so that when they buy a new one its charger can replace a previous one that broke. Like me, they wished Womanizer would just choose a charger and stick with it.
From end to end, the Womanizer Premium measures 7.5”. I do like using the pebble shaped offerings, especially the teeny tiny Starlet (hands-free heaven!) but I must admit that a longer handle is much easier to manoeuvre. However, with this particular model there’s a but. Because the body of the toy is quite wide (2.5” in diameter) and the attachment only stands out half an inch from the surface, I find getting it comfortably situated kinda difficult.
With the other Womanizers, their snout-like heads nestle nicely between my labia without me having to have half the toy in there, too. With this one, I have to really waggle it close to get it to make contact and it can feel a bit crowded and uncomfortable. The handle pressed into my mons and I have to work to get clitoral contact. Even then, just slight movements can be enough to knock it off my clit or break the seal. Roar!
If the controls had been on the inside of the handle like they are on many of the other models this would be a disaster. But, happily, they’re not. They’re on the outside of the handle in three different places, so I don’t have my fingers in there messing things up every five minutes.
The ON/OFF button is right near the tip of the handle above the golden trim. The Autopilot (a fancy new function) is just below the golden trim. My index finger is perfectly positioned to slide between the two. And the PLUS & MINUS buttons are just off centre, right where my ring finger sits when I hold the toy against me. That makes them easy enough to use.
As a standard Pleasure Air suction style toy, the Womanizer Premium does the job perfectly, when it stays in contact. It offers 12 levels of intensity, from a mere whisper of sensation to a good hard rattling. Plenty of water-based lube is more likely to keep the seal around my clit intact, and quick, delightful orgasms come easily.
But this isn’t just a standard toy. Two new features show that Womanizer isn’t just putting new exteriors over the same old internal gubbins.
The first – and most simple – is the Smart Silence feature. When you switch the Womanizer Premium on, it doesn’t automatically start a’suckin’. It goes into standby mode, and it stays there until the sensors near the mouth of the toy feel the proximity of your body. When it knows you’re near, it begins. If you pull it away for any reason, it cuts out immediately. Awesome for sneaky wanks, or for when someone starts braying on your door and your lubey fingers can’t be doing with scrabbling around for buttons. Good job, that, cos the noise it makes on its highest setting isn’t silent by any stretch of the imagination.
The other, more complicated feature is the Autopilot. If you recall, I mentioned that, just beneath the golden trim, there’s a button. This activates Autopilot. Basically, it takes control of the intensities and changes it up while you lie back and let it do its thing.
There are three modes to Autopilot, and each one is indicated by tiny lights above the on button. First is Soft Mode, indicated by one of three lights. This gives you a scale between the lowest intensity and the 4th. If you press the PLUS button once while in Autopilot, you’re taken to the Medium Mode. The second light will show, and your intensity range will be between 1 and 8. A final push of the PLUS button will take you to the Intensive Mode, and the third light will show. Your intensity scale will be between 1 and 12, so you get the whole nine yards.
And you get them very, very slowly. The first time I used Autopilot I didn’t know what to expect. Would it be random, like, low-med-low-low-HIGH MOTHERFUCKER-low? I truly hoped not, cos that would be so unbelievably shit it would definitely make me cry.
But no, it wasn’t that. It was the most frustrating yet awesome tease. Building slowly, increasing a bit at a time until it was getting to the middle then rolling quickly back down. It idled for a bit then increased and didn’t stop until it was almost at the top and I was clenching the bedsheets with my toes…then it cycled back down to practically nothing. I was like WHY, GOD WHY?? Before I could even complain it crept back up and it stayed on full until I thought, this is it, I’m gonna come.
Then…you guessed it. Down it went. I really did want to cry cos I’d been so close and there I was, staring at the Fella while the Womanizer Premium sat almost motionless between my flaps. And then it whooshed to the highest setting and wobbled down a bit, up a bit, down, down, up, up and then it was silent cos I’d pulled it away so that the Fella could watch my clit twitch out an orgasm.
I didn’t think I’d like this switchy suction business at all cos I’m a steady stim kinda gal. I don’t do patterns with vibrators, I like them to be hard and constant. But everything about that ‘you don’t know what’s coming next’ lark pleased me no end. I love it. So much so, I’ve started wearing it while watching VR porn. Not having to use my hands other than to hold the toy steady lets me get lost in whatever it is I’m seeing, and orgasms sneak up on me. It’s lazy masturbation at its best, I couldn’t be happier.
If you fancied taking it in the bath you totally could, cos it’s waterproof. I don’t play in the bath all that often, but waterproof to me means easier cleaning. I remove the attachment and give it a good wash with soapy water then run the unit under the tap. There’s a bag included for storage so that’s that.
I really thought this would be the model that would dull the stars I have in my eyes or Womanizer, but I was wrong. It’s ace, and if you’re into air pulse toys and love a bit of a tease, you’ll probably love it, too.
To give it a shot, click the banner below and head over to Lovehoney.