Last week, I wrote a review that about a sex toy that makes all my alien impregnation fantasies come true. Today, I’m all about a dildo from one of my fave toy makers. A dildo that transports me to one of my ultimate fantasy settings…under da sea! Exclusively available at SheVibe, it’s the Uberrime Jellyfish Glow in the Dark Dildo.
As I’ve said many a time, I love Uberrime to the moon and back. Their designs are beautiful, unusual, and arousing, and they produce some stunning colour combos. They have a few SheVibe exclusives on the go, all of them aquatic in nature and all very much on my ‘I gotta hit it’ hitlist. You can get yo’self some Aquaman action with the Aqua King, take on a tantalising Tentacle, or, as I have, you can get jiggy with the Jellyfish.
On the face of it, the Uberrime Jellyfish isn’t the biggest dong in the sea, but then it isn’t a tiddler either. It stands longer than the average penis at 7” and has a shaft girth of 4.75”. Everyone is different in where they rank stuff on the size scale, and I’d personally slip this one in at the high end of small. But something that should be taken into account when considering the size of the Jellyfish is its head, cos it makes the whole piece feel bigger than it is.
At 6” in circumference it isn’t huge, but when you realise that the shaft directly beneath the sharply defined coronal ridge is just 4.5” you get an idea of just how bold that lip is. It stands out approximately 1cm from the shaft and every time it passes through an orifice opening (or over the pubic bone inside the vagina) it’s super obvious. More on that later…
First, I want to talk about the fact that the Uberrime Jellyfish is a texture lover’s dream. I love insertables with textures, be they heavy or subtle, and for me the Jellyfish falls somewhere in between. Snaking all the way down and around the shaft is a cluster of squiggly wiggly jellyfish fronds. They’re akin to veins on realistic dildos but in multitudes, and they bleed and blend into each other, cross over each other, and work together to make every single millimetre of the shaft have something exciting going on. The silicone is flexible and squishy but firm enough for absolutely no textural sensation to be lost.
Visually, the difference between the texturing and the pebble-smooth head is quite striking. In fact, the whole piece is striking, especially when you look at the colours. Pretty sea blue with purple accents and a bit of sparkle does speak of jellyfish for me. And when you turn the lights out the blue illuminates your play. As some jellies do indeed glow in the dark, I found this touch to be really cute, and super-hot, of course. I was quite surprised by how brightly this thing shines. It’s bright enough to read by, though not for very long. After a little while the light dulls, as is natural.
So, how do I get on with the Uberrime Jellyfish? We get along swimmingly!
It really is a delight to use in every way. Lubing up the smooth head and stroking that over my clit feels lovely. I find myself constantly applying lube not because things dry up, or even because of the slip, but because of the coldness of it. I don’t know why, but I like to keep my play with the Jellyfish chilly.
From the moment of insertion, there’s some oomph because the head is so blunt. It finds my g-spot with very little effort from me so that’s a bonus. Twisting as I thrust lets me feel all of those lovely textures, but the star of the show for me is the coronal ridge. Just whipping it over and over my pubic bone for tens of minutes feels fucking glorious. No matter how fast or slow I go I can feel it, it’s relentless. Sometimes I keep going even after it gets uncomfortable cos I know that when I finally add a bit of clit stim and let myself go I’m gonna come so hard I’ll be a floppy mess afterwards.
And then there’s anal. Again, the blunt head makes insertion quite rude and the texture is magnified tenfold cos my butt is so much more sensitive. Seven inches is long enough to offer a full, deep feeling, but the best part for me is still the head. Because the underside of the ridge is so flat and deep, the resistance of it pulling against my anal opening from the inside during a buttfuck is orgasmic all on its own. So I don’t have to insert any more than the head. Literally, two inches in with the rim tapping my opening is enough to get me to the finish line. There aren’t many dongs in the world who can boast that, let me tell you.
Something else I love that isn’t part of but rather caused by the Uberrime Jellyfish is the noises that come from down below while I play. There’s a bubbly, squishy wet sound that comes from the parts of the shaft that don’t touch any skin on the way in and out thanks to little pockets of air that shift lube and other fluids around, making them squelch and pop. I’m more into sounds than I am into visuals so this strange noise is right up my street.
But if you’re into watching you’re gonna love the glow in the dark aspect. I have watched me fuck me with the jellyfish a few times now and I gotta say it’s fucking hot. Shadows on my skin, glistening lube on the shaft, and the eerie light that makes my love-cave glow (*chuckles* bad erotica alert!) is all a feast for the eyes. If you’ve got someone playing with you who happens to be down at the business end, they’re in for a treat, too.
If you’re into texture, insertables that aren’t out of the realms of human possibility, or if your sexual fantasies are wet and wonderful, the Uberrime Jellyfish could be perfect for you. Uberrime dildos are basically my own personal Pokemon (gotta catch em all) so keep an eye out for more of their reviews in the near (as near as next week) future.
To add the Jellyfish to your collection, click the SheVibe banner below.
The Uberrime Jellyfish Glow in the Dark Dildo was sent to me by SheVibe in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.
