Überlube. I’ve had my eyes all over this stuff for absolutely ages, but I would always balk at the price tag. We go through lube at a rate of knots here at the Scandal household, so forking out like, £25 for one bottle never seemed cost-effective to me. I weighed it up many times but, in the end, I always decided to stick with my reliable, less expensive faves.
But then Überlube kindly sent me a box full of goodies and, after clearing out the open bottles I had lying around, it was time to find out why this lube is so universally popular.
When I’m buying lubes I only have one thing on my mind: enhancing, in fact no, improving masturbation and sex. Be it water-based for vibes, silicone for the bath or flavoured for blow jobs, I buy lube with a one-track mind. But Überlube has more uses than you can shake a stick at.
It’s a premium silicone lube that impressed me as soon as I had the box open. The presentation is on point, for a start. Borosilicate glass bottles that look fancy on the bedside table, and glass vials that tuck away neatly into the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Adorable, tightly lidded plastic cases with glass refills for travel. Little white sachets for the wash bag. Whether you’re at home or away you can find a style of packaging that suits you.
Both the glass bottles and refills have leak resistant, pump action applicators that dole out measured amounts of lube. That measure is more or less ideal, being enough to last through a full finger masturbation session without further application. Care is needed with the sachets and vials cos they pour freely and this Uberlube is runny stuff. It gets everywhere, making hard floors slippery, so watch out if you spill it.
It’s thinner than water-based lubes, runs freely when dripped onto the skin, and picks up speed when it warms due to body heat. That helps it spread over whatever you’ve put it on, and as long as you keep the movement going it’ll glide over the surface of the skin.
And it truly does glide. Once it’s on the body it doesn’t look like much at all, things still seem kinda dry to look at. But be it a toy (glass, metal, ABS plastic or ceramic – not silicone!), fingers or a penis, and be it a vagina or anus you’re putting them in, everything moves smoothly with absolutely zero friction. It feels natural, not oily or greasy, and I find that my natural wetness doesn’t disappear as quickly when using Überlube, either. I don’t have a problem getting wet, but I sometimes struggle to stay wet no matter how aroused I am, probably because of my age. That means I need a quality lube and this silicone one is definitely that.
Something else I like about it is that it’s truly odourless and tasteless. I had it right up in my nose (accidentally) and couldn’t smell a thing, and I’ve had it in my mouth (intentionally) and tasted nothing. I’m not sure what the deal is with ingesting silicone lube, but I have used it to give a blow job and lived to tell the tale.
We have a few products made to improve a penis hand job. Creams, oils, water-based lubes…but Überlube is by far the best. It lasts as long as you do, the only reason to reapply being if you want to physically see some wetness. If you want to hear your/their cock squelching while it’s being stroked you do need a few pumps of lube. Given the cost of Überlube, water-based (or a cheaper silicone lube) would suit you better.
Überlube claim that, once you stop irritating it, their lube is absorbed by the skin, meaning there shouldn’t be any residual slipperiness the morning after the night before. I made a point of rubbing a dollop into my vulva and leaving it over-night. Next morning in the shower there wasn’t anything to wash off, so that’s a legitimate claim.
Well, now. Überlube tucked a wealth of information into my box of goodies. Testimonials (which I won’t share cos this review is about my opinion), suggestions for use, ingredients… Most silicone lubes contain three ingredients (Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Cyclomethicone), but Uberlube has four. The fourth is Tocopheryl Acetate, or Vitamin E to non-scientific bods like me.
The first three are types of silicone often used for cosmetic applications. They have anti-aging, skin conditioning properties and score low (ie, body safe) on toxicity charts. Vitamin E is well known to be beneficial for the skin, and that could be the reason Überlube leaves it feeling smooth and soft.
Some of the uses are things I would never have dreamt of using lube for. Like I said, I buy lube for fuckery purposes. But here are a few of the suggestions I tried:
According to the info, Überlube can be used as a make-up remover, and a wild hair tamer. This actually made perfect sense to be before I even tried it, because I use oil removers to shift my water-proof mascara, and the consistency of the lube is very similar to that of the GHD hair serum I use. In fact, the latter product shares some ingredients.
It did take my make-up off, though not as quickly as a purpose made product does, and it did add a load of shine to my hair after straightening. Tiny amounts are needed for that as it’s too easy to be over-generous and turn your painstakingly styled do into a greasy nightmare.
Okay, I so didn’t use this for sport. The only sports I take part in happen in the bedroom. But…I did whack some of the lube on my thunder thighs and, for the first time in like, seven years, I went out in a skirt. I don’t do skirts, people, I look ridiculous in them. But I went out for a day of shopping and visiting, and though my thighs did chafe a little it was nothing compared to the red rawness I’d have experienced without it.
I’ve also discovered that it’s ace for rubbing on sore nipples around menstruation time. I hate the way every bra I’ve ever owned makes my nipples feel shitty when I have my period, and while it did nothing to make them less painful, it made my workhorse bras feel much less abrasive.
It’s used by all manner of athletes to help with chafing, and it’s recommended by medical bods. I’ve not seen it in any doctors, clinics of hospitals I’ve been in, but according to Überlube it’s often used in them. As it’s American made, that might just be a matter of geography. I’ll be sure to eye up the lube next time I have a doctor or a nurse poking around in my business.
Yep, it’s a lovely massage enhancer. I love scented oils and warm oily candles, but it’s quite nice to have a similar sensation from something completely unscented. The Fella’s natural scent isn’t masked by flowers or vanilla, and it’s great to be able to move straight into sex without having to reach for towels to cover the bed. I read in the included info that Überlube doesn’t stain fabrics, so as I’m downgrading my bed and getting rid of the bedding, I thought what the hell. We got lube all over the sheets and they washed clean the next day. I don’t know if different fabrics would yield different results, but our cotton jobs were fine.
Condom friendly, water resistant, vegan friendly, convenient, discreet, Überlube doesn’t care what you have in your pants. It’s great for whatever junk you have, but the question is always going to come down to price and whether or not it’s worth it. Personally, I think it is. Now that I’ve used it, $28 (£21) for 100ml of product in a lovely glass bottle doesn’t seem that steep to me. All silicone lubes have a higher price point than water-based, and it’s likely to last you longer as you’ll probably use it less often. If you’re gonna buy a silicone lube, you might as well go for the best.
If you’d like to give it a go, click on the banner below and go check it out.
The Überlube package was sent to me by Überlube.com in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.