Even though I’ve refused to tell my friends and family my blog’s actual name, I’m happy to yap on about what goes down here whenever I get the chance. We talk about my stories and, more often than not, sex toys. Recently, a friend shocked the shit out of me when she announced that, despite my warnings (and occasional death threats) she still buys toxic/porous toys. Why? Cos she thinks that silicone ones are too expensive. I nearly tripped over my own tongue in my haste to prove her wrong. It was easily done, cos just so happened to have the Temptasia Elvira sat in my review pile.
The Elvira is a silicone dildo that’s made by one of my favourite ‘we do a bit of everything’ brands, Blush Novelties. And do you know how much it costs? A mere $27.60 if you’re shopping at SheVibe (or £23.99 in the UK). My mate paid $35.99 (£29.99) for her rubbery monstrosity. That’s a significant difference in price, right? But when I compared the two products, I pointed out that the only real difference between them in terms of design is realism.
Yes, the deep black Elvira might well be a semi-realistic, no-frills affair, but if you’re a fan of stubby and chubby dildos, you’re gonna love it.
Even though it’s a solid silicone dildo it’s so incredibly soft to the touch. If you lightly stroke your fingertips down your inner forearm (go ahead, I’ll wait) you’ll get an idea of how this stuff feels. It has the kind of finish that helps it glide beautifully, even over dry skin. Adding the lightest touch of water-based lube is enough to make things go smoothly for me.
That might not mean much to other folks, but for me, it’s a godsend. See, though I do enjoy hands-free play, I’m a hand-held thruster at heart. I like my penetration deep and hard and fast so need to have plenty of length still outside of my body to hold onto. But with a length of just 5.5” all in, the Temptasia Elvira is a dinky little thing.
My vaginal canal is 6-7”, so I easily take the 5” insertable length, and that leaves me with the half inch suction cup as a handle. If I had to use a bucket of lube to make play comfortable, I wouldn’t be able to use this thing by hand. My fingers would just slip right off.
I can use it easily enough as a suction cup dildo or with a toy mount, but only in positions where I can squat over it. Because of its short length, there’s no mounting it to the wall and backing up on it for me. My arse is too big for that, the tip of the Temptasia Elvira barely reaches my vaginal opening from behind, never mind penetrating me. But being above it works well, though I have to say that the suction cup isn’t the strongest that Blush has to offer.
My favourite thing about the Elvira by far is the girth. Around the ridge of the softly defined glans style tip, it’s a juicy 6”. At the mid-point of the shaft it’s 5.5”, and near the base, it’s 5”. The silicone is completely smooth with nary a bump or wave in sight. If a toy is gonna be completely devoid of texture from tip to base I need it to be chunky and the Elvira certainly ticks that box.
Another box it ticks for me is the curve box. It doesn’t look like much when you see it lying flat, but if you stand it on its base, you’ll see that there’s quite an angle to the shaft. This brings it straight to my front wall and jams that lovely head against my g-spot. The large surface of the head means it really can’t miss, and the firmness of the silicone and rigidity of the shaft affords me plenty of constant, hard stimulation.
I tend to use a toy mount if I want to go g-spotting with the Temptasia Elvira cos it makes me gush so much you’d think someone had opened a dam. I don’t know what my jizz is made up of and I don’t really give a shit. All I know is that it makes even the slickest of silicone toys super draggy more or less immediately. I need to slather on the lube if I want to continue playing past the first squirt, and that means I can’t give myself this type of stimulation using my hands. I need to sit and bounce.
Something else I’ve had to consider is how effective the Temptasia Elvira is for strap-on play. The girth is too much for the Fella at the moment, but we do have it on the ‘maybe’ shelf in our toy cupboard. To my surprise, he placed the Elvira there himself. But I’ve had to tell him that I don’t think it’ll be possible for me to use it in a harness because of my body shape. Although the Elvira is perfectly suitable for use in a harness (and anal) its short length and my big belly don’t mix well. Folks with less belly will do fine with it, though. So if your partner wants the pleasure of a good stretch without worrying about things going too deep this is a perfect option.
As I keep telling my friend, one of the best things about silicone dildos is that they’re body safe. I mean, choosing toys that are orifice specific is on you. But one thing you don’t have to worry about with genuine silicone is if they’re bad for you. They don’t leach gasses, they won’t cause chemical burns. They’re sterilisable (by boiling or bleaching) cos they’re non-porous. Well, okay they are porous, but the pores are so small as to be impenetrable by bacterial nasties. Silicone is easy to keep clean. You can store it safely with other silicone toys (but don’t use silicone lubes, it can cause your toys problems).
I’m not gonna lie, I do prefer my toys to have a bit more length than the Elvira offers. But that didn’t lessen the enjoyment I got from it. It’s harness compatible, has a suction cup, is lovely and girthy and is body safe. If you’re in the market for a silicone toy that doesn’t break the bank, this one could be for you.
To snap one up, click on the banner below and head over to SheVibe. If you’re shopping in the UK, click here.
