I love sex toys, folks. I love them like the Fella loves his mobile phone, like my cats love fish, like my mother loves telling me what to do. Playing with them, talking about them, reading about them, writing about them…I love it all. But some sex toys I love more than others, and one of my straight-to-top-ten new faves is the Strange Bedfellas Batou Dildo.
Run by Meesh and Patrick, a wife and husband team in Texas, Strange Bedfellas is part of a beautifully blooming industry of indie fantasy sex toy makers, and their personal focus is monsters! Glorious silicone creations that come in all shapes and sizes and in some of the most fantastical colour combos I’ve seen to date.
Because I’m a sex blogging, toy reviewer type chick, my experience with Strange Bedfellas will be slightly different from yours as a customer. But I’m confident that your experience will still be as positive as mine was. Meesh is truly lovely to talk to, so friendly and so very helpful. She wants to make the folks receiving her creations as happy as possible and I, for one, am delighted.
So, the first thing I did was choose my model. Even though all of Strange Bedfellas’ shapes are lovely, I couldn’t get past the Batou. Everything about this shape made me want it. Its chubby shaft, its squiggly vein detailing, its wrinkles, folds, and horns. Yes, I said horns, it has two of them on its head and four protruding from its base, and they make it look so awesome I squee every time I look at it.
Next, I picked my size. The Batou comes in small, medium, and large, as well as Noble and Royal (which are XL and XXL, neither of which I knew about, wah!) I opted for large, which won’t come as a shock to you if you know me at all. What might surprise some of you, though, is that Strange Bedfellas’ ‘large’ appears to be quite modest at first sight. Overall, the Batou measures 8.5” and around 6.75” of that is insertable. It looks small, right up until the point where you wrap your hand around the shaft.
When you do that, you’re greeted with a chubby 7.25” of mid-shaft circumference. The head is a bit smaller at 6” around, and near the base is slimmer too at 5.75”. That’s where my Batou earns its large status in my eyes. It’s delightfully thick and filling and provides a lovely level of stretch. More on that later.
Because I wanted my Strange Bedfellas Batou to be squishy but able to stand unaided, Meesh recommended soft silicone. And it is so luxuriously soft I’m a bit startled every time I put it down and it doesn’t keel over. It’s soft enough for me to wring it like a wet cloth, soft enough for me to nip and squeeze it without it offering too much resistance. And yet, when I stand it on a flat surface, it remains upright and ready to be sat on. When I insert it, it goes straight in without bending and jabbing me in the leg or in a hole I’m not actually aiming for. Exactly what I wanted.
The last choice I had to make was a blogger’s perk; the colour of my Batou. Strange Bedfellas doesn’t currently have a colour customising service, but you never know what the future brings. I wasn’t even gonna mention that I got to have a custom colour cos I feel like a tease, but I really want to show y’all how brilliantly Meesh matched my pick. I couldn’t be happier with it, it’s perfect.
So, how does the Strange Bedfellas Batou fare in use? Well, firstly, the silicone feels divine. The softness comes through, but at the same time, so does the firmness. There’s a bounce to it, it’s cushioned, and it bends if I want it to.
Something I love about it is how blunt the head is. Insertion isn’t a gently tapered affair, it’s just straight in with a fat, almost flattened tip. There’s nothing gentle about it, no time to warm up, it’s just an instant stretch followed by a lovely, deeply full sensation.
A slight twist during thrusting adds a little bit of sensation around the vaginal opening thanks to the veins on the sides. As does almost fully withdrawing the Batou so that the texture beneath the head comes into play.
My favourite thing, though, has to be giving myself a thoroughly good pounding with it. The way the tip thumps against the deepest part of me is delicious, made especially so by the softness of the silicone. This is the only dildo I have where I can (or I imagine I can) feel the give of the silicone inside me. Its size makes it feel intense even as the softness makes it feel forgiving.
Anally, it’s just the most super comfy ride. Again, I get the instant stretch from the head, and as always, the textures feel more pronounced around my opening. Plenty of water-based lube makes it all slippery, and it’s weighty enough to stay down when I rise up.
Because the shaft swells to its thickest around the middle, there’s a constant waving sensation of thick-thicker-thick that feels especially nice for anal. I think it’s the stretching and contracting of the sphincter that feels so good. So much so, I don’t really focus on how full I feel or how deep the penetration is, I just seem to focus on that one thing until I come.
As for ease of use, the Strange Bedfellas Batou has it in spades. The chunky base gives me something to hold onto, and because it squishes in my hand, I can get a really comfy grip. Like I said before, it’s weighty enough to hold itself down for handsfree play, and it’s also harness compatible. Well, I’ve worn it in a harness to see how well it fit, but I haven’t seen how well it performs cos the Fella said nope. Can’t win ‘em all, eh?
Oh, oh, oh! Before I forget, I want to give a quick nod to my super adorable Little Fellas and sticker pack. Look at those pics, though! The baby Batou is extra adorable, don’t you think? In my next Strange Bedfellas review – yes, there will be another! – you’ll see the other two little cuties that came in my review pack.
Taking care of the Batou is simple enough. It can be washed in soapy water or boiled, and it can be stored safely with other silicone toys. Be sure they are silicone, though, cos if not you might damage your Batou, and that would be a tragedy. Using silicone lube will damage it, too, so stick to water-based.
All in all, I absolutely adore my Batou. If you’d like to add one to your collection, click on the Strange Bedfellas banner below.
