Do you have a nemesis? Is there someone or something out there that is the Joker to your Batman, the Loki to your Thor, the Doofenshmirtz to your Perry the frigging platypus? Well, today I’m gonna introduce you to mine. Folks, meet the Split Peaches Rivetor that the lovely bods at Betty’s Toy Box kindly sent my way. The dildo that, for a while there, had me convinced that my vagina had finally met its match.
Yeah, I really struggled to get on with this one. I wailed and moaned, bitched and whinged, but for a long while I just couldn’t figure out how to even get it in me without bringing tears to my own eyes. And do you know what caused it? Damn, never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d ever find myself typing these words, but it was the texture. Let me explain…
If you don’t know about Split Peaches, you’ve been missing out. They make some beautiful sex toys (like my lovely Unicorn Horn, for example), all of them silicone and body safe. The Rivetor comes in a few sizes, and Betty’s stocks the glorious rainbow version in small, medium, and large.
It might shock you to hear that, just like I did with this toy, I exercised a little restraint when picking my Split Peaches Rivetor. Instead of going for the largest size available, I plumped for medium. This one has an insertable length of 8-inches with a 1.5-inch thick base. Its minimum girth is 7-inches and its maximum is 8.25-inches. I can only imagine how much I’d have struggled with the large one if I winced using this.
I find that, for me, the Split Peaches Rivetor feels even bigger than it is because the silicone is so firm. The shaft bends well, but there’s very little give when its squeezed. This means that it doesn’t yield to my body at all. My pubic bone has to accept the hard, scraping contact, my walls have to give to accommodate it, and I can’t relieve the pressure or the stretch by contracting my muscles. If it was just a smooth shafted dildo lube would offer glide, but it isn’t. It’s super textured.
The original colours for the Rivetor really rocked its steampunk vibe, but the rainbow stripes make the industrial look less obvious. As the name suggests, though, the Rivetor is decorated from the base of the tapered, egg-esque head to the base of the shaft in, well, rivets.
About where you’d expect to find a coronal ridge on a cock, there’s a ring of big, bold studs. They stand out about 7.5mm from the surface of the toy. That doesn’t sound like much, but do bear in mind that there are eight of them, spaced around an inch apart, and that they give the head a sharp 1-inch swell that dips back again before the rest of the texture comes into play. That can be really harsh on orifice openings, especially if there isn’t enough lubrication and if said orifice isn’t fully aroused.
But that isn’t where I struggled. Yeah, I did call the Lord a few choice names on the first few outings of the Split Peaches Rivetor, but my body accepted those rivets easily enough. The smooth head felt great, the stretch was lovely, and the big bolts massaged some lovely spots just inside of my vag. It was when I pushed it further in that things went to shit.
Like I said above, the entire shaft is dotted with smaller rivets that run down it in uniformly spaced lines. Each of those lines is slightly raised from the surface of the toy, making the small rivets stand out a little further. But they don’t run in straight lines because the shaft is twisted. That pulls the lines – and so the rivets – around the dildo and because of that it feels like every single inch of it is uneven.
There was no way could I thrust with it. I couldn’t settle into a rhythm because the surface was constantly changing and covered in spikes. My vaginal opening felt like it was being tugged in all different directions. My pubic bone felt like it was being assaulted by a cheese grater. Every angle I tried just offered differing degrees of discomfort, there was no happy medium to be found. No matter how much lube I used, what type of lube I used, or how aroused I was, it just didn’t work.
I truly despaired of ever getting on with it and I won’t lie, I was gutted. I loved my Unicorn Horn so much and I was so ready to love my new Split Peaches Rivetor. The Fella listened to me bemoan my vagina for not being able to manage something I felt it should love. He suggested trying it for anal and I suggested he get straight in the bin. If my vag wasn’t coping my arse – which is a million times more receptive to texture – had no chance.
Figuring out how to make the Rivetor work for me happened purely by chance. Long story short, it was the closest toy to hand when I couldn’t get off one afternoon, and I basically wanted to use it to punish my cunt for not accepting the orgasm I was trying so hard to give it. I thought, this’ll learn ya, and after covering it in Sliquid Sassy, I stuffed in the Rivetor.
But the angle my hips were at meant that I had to twist the shaft in order to make it move, and that’s when the penny dropped. I discovered in that moment that if I worked with the direction of the texture rather than against it, I could take almost the whole shaft in lovely, long strokes. There was my stretch and the delicious filling sensation that I love. There was my texture, my g-spot stim, my just enough discomfort to be thrilling. Everything slotted into place and it was pretty much orgasm central after that.
I had to go and ruin it, of course. Maybe it would feel good for anal if I twisted with the grain. Jesus Christ, no! Well, I got it in alright, but getting it back out again was akin to childbirth. I knew I was hurting myself. I knew that my opening didn’t like the ever-changing texture or the super hard silicone. But I carried on because anal pain combined with clit-stim always brings me orgasms that launch me into the stratosphere.
And the Split Peaches Rivetor did exactly that, I came like a train. But then I had to remove it and my butt was like, NOOO! Every move was agony. The lube had dried up, my opening was sore, my muscles had clamped around the shaft and they didn’t want to let go. It took more than ten minutes just to get the thing out of me and I was blubbering by the end. So, no. For me, this toy is definitely not on the ‘dongs for anal’ shelf.
Moving on from that, though, I’m utterly stoked that I can say I really do like the Rivetor after all. I love how it looks, I love the thought of it, so it would have killed me to say I didn’t like using it. But I do, and I would definitely recommend it to folks who enjoy intense textures.
At the same time, I would also recommend that you be sure of the size you opt for, should you decide to buy one. Even the medium is one helluva big dildo and that texture is powerful, so you’ll be in for quite a bumpy ride if you go for anything other than the small.
If you want to add one to your collection, click on the Betty’s banner below.
