It’s time for me to be honest with myself, folks. I’ve been in denial for years, but it’s time for me to accept that I am never gonna find my perfect rabbit vibe cos it just (probably) doesn’t exist. I’ve come close a couple of times, but to me, the holy grail of rabbits would be one that I can use as a standalone toy without intervention from my fingers or too much strain on my wrists. When I saw its special feature, I really did think the Santa Monica Starlet by California Exotics might be in with a chance. But after the lovely SheVibe sent it to me for review, I quickly learnt that I was wrong.
On the face of it, it’s a really lovely little vibe. It has all the basic features that I expect to see in vibrators of any price point. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, and its outer layer of smooth, silky silicone makes it body safe.
As with most rabbit vibes, the Santa Monica Starlet is on the small side. I mean, overall it’s 8.5” in length, but only 4” of that is insertable. For me, that limits its uses. I can’t use it if I want deep penetration. And I can’t use it if I want to feel filled, either, because even though it has a 5” girth at its widest point (which is just enough to let my opening feel it) I have to insert all of that past my pubic bone and the part left in contact with my vaginal opening is only a shade over 3” in circumference.
What I can use vibes this length for, is g-spot stimulation. Now, the Santa Monica Starlet does have a slight curve to its shaft that tilts it towards my front wall. But it’s not the quite sharply pointed tip that makes contact but rather the flat side of the shaft. It’s intentionally designed to do that, because this portion of the shaft is where the special feature lives.
Some rabbits have swirly beads, some thrust, others rotate, but the Santa Monica Starlet pulsates. There’s a plate beneath the silicone that appears pulses up and down against the shaft, thus delivering a tapping sensation right to the g-spot.
Well, that’s what it did when I first got it. I don’t know what my vagina did while the poor rabbit was in there, but this thing isn’t what it once was. Now it kinda pops and rocks over to the left. The plate seems to have twisted in its moorings and now it’s a one-sided affair. It still has its full power, it still does its best not to stall when it comes up against pressure, but yeah. It’s gone wonky.
That might sound like a tragedy for my g-spot, but to tell you the truth my its ain’t bothered. Cos the sensation of that plate knocking against my front wall was so underwhelming I only turned it on during test wanks. Most of the pleasure I got from the Santa Monica Starlet came from the clit arm.
And even that was a bit hit and miss. I like the duck bill shape of this external arm. I like the taper, I like the really sharp point of the tip. The vibes (3 constant speeds, 7 patterns) aren’t magically deep, but they aren’t akin to a hoard of pissed of flies, either. They feel nice enough to me, but they would feel even better if the arm touched my clit.
It comes up just short. That’s close enough for me to feel most of the vibes, but I’m not one for remote stimulation. At the start of a session I am, but when it comes to the crunch, I need pressure. And I also need internal depth. But if I plunge the shaft in deeper the arm moves further away from my clit, and the opposite applies if I try to make the tip touch where I need it. It’s all very frustrating.
But that’s the thing with rabbit vibrators. They’re nearly always fixed shapes with just a little bit of flex where the external arm branches off. Because of that, it’s always gonna be a lottery. It might fit with your anatomy perfectly, but then it could be so far away from fitting you it might as well be on another body. It’s important for folks understand that, when a lack of compatibility does occur, it’s not the fault of their body. It’s unlikely that they have an anatomy so unusual that a rabbit won’t ever work for them. It’s down to the design of the toy and the fact that, just as you’ll find in the fashion industry, one size rarely fits all.
And that’s why I’m not gonna say that I consider the Santa Monica Starlet to be rubbish. It’s almost guaranteed that it will be the perfect size, shape, and power level for someone out there. If that’s you, just keep an eye on that pulsing plate. Like I said, it felt like a half-hearted fingertip tapping at my g-spot anyway, but once it went wonky it felt even worse. I don’t know if the toy is faulty, or if my vag or pubic bone knocked it out of line, but I do know that it isn’t right now. I can even see the plate jutting out when the toy is switched off.
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The Santa Monica Starlet Pulsating Rabbit was sent to me by SheVibe in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.