I’ve been anticipating the release of the Ruby Glow since I read an article in October last year in which erotic author, Tabitha Rayne, discussed the idea behind its development, so when the opportunity to test it popped up at Lovehoney, I signed myself up and crossed all my crossable bits and pieces in the hopes that I would get it.
And I did.
Inside of the dark, subtly feminine box sits the Ruby Glow. In there with it is a booklet – which is pretty much an advert for RO’s other products – and an inner sleeve, on which you’ll find the operating instructions. Those who haven’t bought their Ruby from a place with a 365 day returns policy will be pleased to know there’s a code in the box too, and if you register the toy on the Rocks Off website it activates a six month guarantee.
The Ruby Glow is an odd egg, and totally unique in terms of things I’ve tried in the past. It’s a clitoral vibrator, but it’s designed to be placed on a chair and sat on while the user is fully clothed. You can use it naked, of course. Just be sure to have some water-based lube handy.
Something that made me sad from the off, was the fact that it’s a battery operated toy. I’d have loved for it to be usb rechargeable, and maybe even waterproof so it could be used while lazing away in the bath and reading erotica, but alas, it’s neither of those things.
The build quality is fantastic, as I’ve come to expect from Rocks Off. The not quite ruby red silicone is seamless and smooth, but I did find one or two imperfections. They’re just tiny roughened patches, but they are there so I feel I must mention them.
At seven inches in length, two and a quarter inches high, and two and a half inches wide, the Ruby is surprisingly big. That got me thinking about vulva sizes. I’m sure not all of us have a 7 inch long vulva with bits exactly where they need to be to accommodate this toy. So, being as anal about reviewing as I am, I whipped my pants off and asked the Fella to measure me. He was busy putting up a shelf but I assured him it was for science, so he did it, lol. I’m just shy of six inches from front to back, so I figured I had a good chance of this hitting the right spots.
Firstly, the clitoris (obviously) which is stimulated by the higher of the Ruby’s two peaks. This is where you’ll find the two buttons that control the dual motors. It runs down on an angle, and that little slope is covered in lovely ridges, which feel very nice when buzzing away and teasing the inner labia. When the clit curve ends, it travels back up into a rounded knob shape, designed to stimulate the vaginal opening. Finally, the little border behind that rests nicely against the perineum, so all bases are more or less covered.
At this point I knew the fit was a goodun, so next was the vibes. The two AAA batteries required to operate the Ruby are already inserted, all you need to do is pop the back off and remove the little plastic disc. I’d make sure you have plenty in though, cos if you’re anything like me, you’ll wear the original ones out in one session.
The top button operates the vaginal motor, and the second button the other. This means they can be used on different modes, which is an idea I love in a toy. With three speeds, seven patterns and two motors that can be operated independently, you’d think there would be something for everyone here…
But alas, when it comes to delivering orgasms, the Ruby Glow doesn’t perform. There’s just not enough power. When I switched the first motor on it sounded like my mobile was buzzing on the table. Adding the second motor just made it sound like said mobile had gotten into a fight with a wasp. Not just any old fight, but a half-hearted one, and the wasp was blind drunk.
I tried it clothed while reading erotica, then clothed while watching the Fella masturbate, and all I got was frustrated. If you’re looking for a toy to tease and torment your partner with, this would be an ideal choice. I was massively turned on, and the Ruby Glow certainly fuelled my fire, but it didn’t have a hope of getting me off. I tried it seated naked too and ended up more frustrated, and after that I held it against me during anal sex but the vibes just weren’t enough.
Even though it’s not particularly powerful, the noise this thing makes once you’re astride it on a chair is unreal. The Fella wandered upstairs during a non-sexy test run and asked me what I thought I was doing mowing the bedroom carpet. That’s something to keep in mind if you have need for discretion in your house, which I do.
Caring for your Ruby is simple, as long as you don’t forget that it isn’t waterproof. I spray a cloth with sex toy cleaner and give it a good wipe down, then let it air dry. There isn’t a storage bag provided, so mine lives in its box for now.
I desperately wanted to love the Ruby Glow and I feel terrible about being such a Negative Nancy, but in my opinion this toy will only be of use to either women with very sensitive clits that need the lightest of stimulation to blow, or couples looking for a way of teasing but not delivering the goods for a looong time. But if the latter is what you’re actually looking for, I would highly recommend it.
If you’d like to go for a ride on your own Ruby Glow, click the link below.
The Rocks Off Ruby Glow was sent to me by Lovehoney in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.
