In the not too distant past, if I was ever asked about my ‘desert island sex toy’ I would toggle between the Njoy Pure Wand and the Doxy. Both awesome and equally deserving of a lifetime partnership with me in paradise. But more recently, my answer to that question isn’t so specific. In fact, it’s generic, cos all I’ll say is ‘a dildo’. Long story short, I frigging love dildos. Big ones, little ones, realistic ones, far out fantasy ones, they’re my absolute favourite type of sex toy. But when I approached the Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo it was with a critical eye, because, Paloqueth who?
No, I’d never heard of Paloqueth before they rocked up in my emails looking for reviewers. When I first looked at their stuff, I admit to doing a little harrumph and disregarding their dildos as mislabelled rubber and their vibes as subpar white label rubbish. I won’t hide anything from y’all, lovely readers, the reason I ended up with this dildo and a bondage kit of theirs was cos they paid me to review them.
Yep, this is a sponsored review, but don’t think that’s gonna stop me putting this thing fully through its paces. Money can buy loads of shit in this world, but it can’t buy a positive review from Scandarella.
So, in the spirit of absolute scrutiny, the first thing I did when the Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo arrived was try to torch it. Even though it looked like silicone, felt like silicone, and didn’t smell like shitty rubber, I was suspicious. Try as I might, though, this baby would not burn. Its base got flamed, and so did its shaft and head, but all is above board and genuine. The thing is definitely silicone. So far, so good.
Once I’d determined it was silicone, it was time to give it a good looking at, and of course a good squishing. If you like actual cock you’ll be laughing with this dildo, cos it really does look the part. Blushing head, foreskin folds, veined and follicled shaft, and a squidgy ballsack. And it’s more or less on par with the average erect cock size.
- The Paloqueth dildo – 5.3” insertable, 4” girth
- Average dude’s dick – 5.16” insertable, 4.59” girth
See, not much difference is there? As well as that, though, there’s the realistic feel that comes from the dual density build. A firm inner core is covered by a thick layer of shifting, squishy, delightful silicone. The head is insanely soft and it definitely feels dick like to me.
I couldn’t help myself, folks, it went straight in my mouth and I bit it. Then I sucked it, for far longer than was necessary. Once it warmed up and my mouth started to salivate it felt almost authentic. Maybe if the inner core had been just a bit softer, and if the outer layer shifted more up and down the shaft, it would have been even more so.
I told the Fella there and then that the Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo could well be my fave partner play Blowjob dildo. The suction cup on the base is pretty strong, so sticking it to the wall so I can blow it while the Fella fucks me from behind is easy. And awesome. It pretty much failed to occur to me that I should have been fucking the damned thing and I didn’t for ages.
But I got round to it eventually and I was pleasantly surprised. Its inner hardness makes it really good to thrust with. It stays firm but with a pillowy softness, and my vaginal opening responds to it so well. And g-spotting! Totally convinced that it wouldn’t do much, being so soft tipped, I decided to give it a go and do you know what? It worked like a charm. I thanked God for the chunky base cos I wouldn’t ever have been able to keep a grip on it without it. Ya girl jizzed everywhere. Such a surprising thing to have happen with a toy I didn’t really want to review in the first place.
Needless to say, I’m pretty taken with this dildo. I didn’t think I would be, though, and that makes it extra ace. It’s not a super special thing. It isn’t filling, it’s not a stretcher or a deep diver. But given its teeny tiny price tag ($22.99) and its genuine silicone build, it’s fantastic.
I’ve kept mine clean using soapy water and lint free cloths. Because I need mad toy storage, I’ve got a shelf for it to live on, but its box is small and discreet so it can be safely kept in there. As the silicone loved hair and dust, I would recommend it.
So yeah. Totally surprised with how much I like this one. If realistics are your thing, click the Paloqueth banner below and check them out.
The Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo is a sponsored item, sent to me by Paloqueth for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. No affiliate links have been used in this post.
