Every so often, Sex Toys UK adds another string to the bow that is their Loving Joy range of sex toys and bondage gear. So far, we’ve seen a bullet that gets to sit at the head table with the We-Vibe Tango, a flexi vibrator that’s more versatile than waffles, and a whole host of anal plugs with gems and bushy tails. The latest of the range to pass through the doors of the Scandal household is the Loving Joy Universal Harness & Dildo Combo.
When I was offered the chance to review these two products (which are currently sold separately but may be available as a bundle soon) I was a little hesitant. I’m not a small woman, and I expressed concerns that the harness might not fit my size 24 (UK) body. But the lovely Louise from STUK explained that, when sourcing a harness for the Loving Joy range, it was crucial that one be found which catered to a wide range of sizes, including my size and beyond.
I liked the idea of a harness that aimed to be one size fits most (the term ‘one size fits all’ is now and will always be bollocks, so I’m glad they haven’t used it). That a person my size wouldn’t have to pay a premium like we do with expensive leather styles, and that we wouldn’t have to have ‘plus’ or ‘XXL’ or any other words that point at us being different to ‘regular-sized’ folks blazing from the packaging.
So, I said bring it on, and I soon ended up with this very simple but rather lovely kit in my review queue.
The Harness
With a panel made of faux leather style PVC, nylon straps, and a mix of plastic adjusters and metal fasteners, the Loving Joy Universal Black Harness is about as basic as you can get. Its measurements are:
- Panel: 7” wide, 5” high, 5mm thick
- Hip strap (including panel): 59” (150cm) maximum
- Thigh straps: 34” maximum
When I say it’s bare bones, I really do mean it. There’s absolutely no padding to the panel, and it’s crotchless, too. That’s a good thing, because it makes it truly universal. Harnesses with crotches can hinder penetration, should the wearer want it. They can be uncomfortable for the bepenised, too. Even the ones with ‘easy access’ strap style crotches can chafe away at the penis during penetration, depending on body shapes and positions. Also, they can be a bitch to clean, so for those looking for their first harness, crotchless is good.
Being super basic isn’t a negative though. It doesn’t mean it’s lacking anything, because it isn’t. It’s fully adjustable and fits UK sizes 4 – 30. The adjusters are simple sliders and once you’ve got yourself comfy they don’t slip. There’s even a little elastic pocket in the back of the harness for stashing a bullet so that the wearer gets a little clittilation while they play.
The harness comes with two rubber o-rings (1.25” & 1.5” internal diameter), and the metal pop fasteners that holds them are super sturdy. I find it easier to fit a dildo to the harness before stepping into it, then tightening everything up once it’s on. Pulling the straps tight pulls the dildo closer to the panel, and the panel closer to the body. There’s no flopping, no drooping…just well fitting, comfortable play.
One thing I must mention here is stomach to panel compatibility. I’ve got a big belly and it does get in the way in certain positions. The top of the panel can dig in a bit, and as I have a caesarean scar it can be painful. Leather does the same, but it’s softer and isn’t as bad. The edges of the Loving Joy Universal Black Harness are nylon, and that can chafe like crazy. Also, the lack of padding allows firm dildos with large bases to whack off the body and dig in in some positions, and that’s especially uncomfortable if you have a bullet in the pocket.
The Dildo
The Loving Joy 6” silicone Dildo with Suction Cup is a fab little thing! When I first unpacked it, I didn’t really think it would be up to much. Six inches is the total length, with five and a half of them insertable.
It’s a semi-realistic dildo, with a glans, coronal ridge, and a bit of foreskin wrinkling. The tip has a girth of 4.5”, then the shaft narrows to 3.5” before swelling out to 4.5” again. Aside from those few wrinkles (which look mild but are actually very well defined thanks to the super firm nature of the silicone) the dildo is completely smooth. The silicone is matte black, and it’s nice and velvety to the touch.
Some suction cup bases suck in all the wrong ways, but this one is ace. I just took a break from typing this review to pull the dildo off the drawer front I’d stuck it on, and it didn’t come off…it opened the drawer. No mean feat when you consider that drawer is crammed full of three rabbit vibes, two classic vibes, half a dozen bullets, a metal dildo, a glass dildo, lube, toy cleaner, iPod, camera, tarot cards… It pulled that shit wide open and didn’t even break a sweat. That makes it as perfect for hands free solo play as it is for strap-on play.
Like I said, I didn’t expect to think much of it, but it’s pretty decent in use. It’s rigid, which is something I like, and the silicone is the type that doesn’t really need a lot of lube. It has a natural glide to it, so even though the toy is small, I don’t end up struggling to keep hold of it cos there’s too much wetness going on. It finds my g-spot quite easily, and the wrinkles are great for stimulating it. The dip in girth helps it curve around my pubic bone, and I get a nice, straightforward g-spotting session from it.
Pegging
When I put them together for a pegging, this combo is a killer. Yeah, it’s all compact and basic, but it gets the job done. The Fella likes the dildo’s size, the spot of texturing, and the way the shaft dips and balloons. It’s long enough and has enough curve to reach and stroke his prostate, and because it’s so slim he’s comfortable enough to ask me to go harder. That’s something he never requests with larger toys.
If you or your partner are new to pegging, or if either of you are uncertain about whether it’s even your thing, this combo would be a perfect place to start. Both pieces will set you back less than £32, and the bulk of that is for the dildo (£18.95). You can find out if you want to explore further, and if you decide you don’t you haven’t lost a fortune.
If you decide you like it but only want to indulge occasionally, this set may well be all you ever need. And for those who decide after their first try that pegging is the best thing since sliced bread, investing in a harder wearing, longer lasting harness won’t be so painful because you didn’t spend a lot in the first place.
If you’d like to give the harness a shot, click here. For the dildo, click the banner below.
