I feel like I need to give my trials and tribulations with rabbit vibrators a name. Something like, the Bunny Chronicles or the Rabbit Saga. My quest for the perfect rabbit is ongoing and has been for some time. I’ve had almost perfect ones and absolutely trash ones, and everything in between. But I’m yet to find the holy grail of dual stimulators. Or am I? Read on to find out if the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator is the one…
This thrusting number is part of Lovehoney’s recently revamped and relaunched, happier than they ever were, third generation of Happy Rabbits. I’ve tried one offering from the second series – the Happy Rabbit II G-Spot vibe – and it’s so close. So very close to being perfect, but still just short of the mark.
When I got the chance to choose from the six new models (which includes g-spotters, realistic, and triple stim options) I couldn’t not pick the thruster. Yeah, I’ve found these fancy rabbit functions to be gimmicky in the past, but Lovehoney generally does these things well.
So, delivered unto me was a supremely pink, rather large looking rabbit. I rejoiced at the size, cos by God do I like big toys. It isn’t anything that’s gonna bring tears to the eyes of folks who like their insertables a bit smaller, though. Its visual massiveness mostly comes from the enormous external arm and the total length. From the vaguely glans styled head to the flat base, it measures nine whole inches…and that’s before the thruster makes a move. Fully extended, it’s just a shade over nine and a half.
But when you look at the insertable length of the shaft – 4.75” – you quickly realise that it’s no different to almost every other ‘full-sized’ rabbit out there. But to be fair, with a 5” circumference, it’s marginally thicker than many of those others. And it’s super firm, too. The silicone is quite thinly layered over an ABS plastic core, so it’s not gonna give no matter how hard you squeeze.
If you’re after a curved shaft that’ll easily reach your g-spot, you’re outta luck. The Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator is a straight up and down affair. It can be angled to reach the g-spot, but as soon as the thrusting motion is activated there’s some serious bone scraping to be felt.
If you like soft, squishy ears to your rabbit’s clit bit…well, you’re outta luck there, too. The ears on the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator are uber-flexible, but they’re pretty hard and jabby. They’re a good size, though. The overall length of the arm is 3” and the ears take up 1.25” of that. For me, this amounts to a good fit, but if I don’t use plenty of lube I suffer chaffery pokery.
Before I go into how this toy feels in action, I’ll tell you about the functions. Firstly, the shaft. Like I said earlier, it has a half inch thrust, the mechanisms of which are safely concealed beneath concertina folded silicone. Half an inch doesn’t sound like much at all, does it? But when it’s in use it feels like a significantly longer stroke. You get three thrusting speeds which are approximately:
- 66 thrusts per minute
- 83 thrusts per minute
- 104 thrusts per minute
The rabbit ears offer three constant speeds and nine patterns. It remembers the last function you were on and starts there when you switch it on. In this instance, I like that, because I’ll only ever use the one function, which is the highest constant speed. The power of the vibes is visible in the way the ears shiver. They carry so well throughout the whole arm, so if you need the tips you feel them, if you need the bunny nose you feel them. If it’s a good fit for you, of course.
For me, it is. And not only is it a good fit, but it’s a hands-free good fit. Because of the flat base, I can get the shaft all up in me, position the ears on my clit, and let the base rest against whatever I’m sitting on. Well, provided that the surface isn’t slippery.
The buttons are big and obvious so getting it all going is simple, and because of the memory function all I have to do is pick my thrust speed. The rhythmic stroking combined with the powerful vibes does the job perfectly. Because the thrust only happens in the upper portion of the shaft, I don’t get any external kickback. It doesn’t try to fuck its way out of me, and it doesn’t bob around the way many other thrusters do. I just get to sit and have orgasms delivered to me, for as long as I like.
My absolute favourite way to use it is to have a decent sized dildo inserted anally while I play. The perfect one is the Xenusoid from Uberrime. I put it in suckers backwards, leaving the ridged back pressed against the wall that separates my butt from my vag. When I switch the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator on, the tip strokes against each and every ridge. Everything feels bumpy, and it feels like I’m getting anal thrusting when I’m not. The resulting orgasms are mind-blowing, I swear to God!
Although it’s pretty awesome, this rabbit isn’t without its drawbacks. I mentioned bone scraping above somewhere, and that can be a real issue depending on positions. Any position where it doesn’t have a clear, straight path is a no-no. Even my fave seated position can go wrong. If I get the angle wrong I get an uncomfortable drag. The dip beneath the head jams behind my pubic bone. And it still thrusts away without stopping. That hurts like a motherfucker, I must admit.
But other than that, it’s pretty much the best rabbit I’ve tried so far, with plenty of plus points. It’s waterproof, so easy cleaning. It has a travel lock, so no worries about it coming alive in your suitcase. It’s rechargeable via USB. And because it’s a rabbit, you don’t even need to have a vagina to put it in. I haven’t used it for anal, yet, but I can imagine it being good for it. Especially if you like strong perineum vibes.
If you’d like to see if this could be the rabbit for you, click the banner below and pay Lovehoney a visit.
