It’s gonna be a Liberator-centric few weeks, folks, cos this is the first of four reviews coming in the next four weeks. There’ll be a cosy jizz proof blanket, a big boxy cube, and a sweet red heart all appearing on Scandarella soon, but today it’s all about the Liberator Humphrey Toy Mount.
I think one thing most people have done at some point in their lives is hump a pillow, regardless of the junk they’ve got in their pants. Sex toy users have more than likely wedged a dildo against a pillow or rammed a Fleshlight beneath one in a bid to hold it still. I’ve done the former many a time, and I gotta tell you, there’s not much more frustrating than solo sex with a dong that just won’t keep still.
This is just one of the reasons Liberator have become a personal fave of mine. Their positioning aids have gone a long way to enhance my sex life over the last few years, and their mounts have made toy assisted masturbation ridiculously easy for me. The Liberator Humphrey is their most user-friendly – and versatile – toy mount I’ve tried to date.
All other Liberator mounts are entirely made of supportive, high-density foam. But Humphrey only has an inch-thick layer of this foam laid over the top of a soft core. All of it encased in a non-removable water-resistant lining. While the other mounts are solid with just a small amount of give, this dual-density construction makes Humphrey super pliable. It easily adjusts to accommodate the span between a pair of thighs. It’ll curve to fit the shape of a chair, it’ll bunch up to raise a toy higher.
In the middle of the pillow is a 5” hole. Because the foam and core are separate, you basically have the entire area between them to accommodate toys. Anything with a flared base and a girth of up to 11″ stands upright. Fleshlights and cordless wands fit in handle first. Mains powered wands do too, but those I tend to keep between the foam and the outer cover so that the wire can protrude from the zipper end.
And that outer cover is lovely! It’s made of luxuriously soft, suede-feel microfiber, which in my case is grey. It feels so nice against the skin. It’s non-chaffing and absorbent. One of the best things about it is that it’s removable and machine washable. And even though it’s got a hole to slip silicone dicks in, and a little pouch within a pouch to fit bullets and pebble vibes, just flipping it over makes it look absolutely nothing like a sex pillow. It’s plain and innocuous, nobody need ever know what you do to it.
Given that it’s quite a size, teh Liberator Humphrey is supremely lightweight. I’d expected it to be shorter and heavier, so was kinda delighted when I saw how big it actually is. It measures 34” in length, 19” in width, and almost 10” in height. And I can throw it around the bed as easily as I can a regular pillow.
Its length suits me down to the ground. With regular pillows, I have nowhere to put my hands when I play. I have to lean forward to put them on the mattress, and this alters the angle that toys enter my body. But with the Humphrey, I can keep my hands at a similar level to the toy. It feels more natural, almost as if I’m sitting on my OH with my hands on his chest. And if he’s actually around and wanting to play with me, the pillow is big enough to accommodate him too, so DP is easy, hands-free, and comfy for us both.
Because I like using large dildos I was concerned that I’d be limited to grinding. My upper leg is only 13”, so I worried that, if I added an 8” dildo on the already 10” height, I wouldn’t have any room to rise so I could enjoy long strokes. But because the core is so soft, my weight pushes it down. When I lift my weight the core expands slowly, so doesn’t get a chance to return to its original height before I’m lowering myself back down again.
I’ve used the Liberator Humphrey in many positions, all of them with great success. Sitting on chairs, kneeling on the floor, legs up the wall. But my favourite place to use it is in bed. I’ve always loved inserting a dildo and then lying back, using a rocking rhythm to massage my front wall. Doing this before the Humphrey was a pain in the arse. The dildo wouldn’t keep still, it would spin around, shift so that the angle or depth of penetration changed, or it would just slip out altogether. But with the Humphrey dildos stay exactly where I put them. They don’t topple over, they don’t move forward, back, or side to side, and the angle stays the same.
And my absolute fave way to use it is lying on my side with the pillow pulled between my knees. I do this late at night when my OH is at work and it’s lazy, easy, quiet penetrative masturbation (with vibes, if I choose) that doesn’t involve my hands at all. As I hug the pillow the microfibre fabric warms up, it’s soft, and squishy…it’s almost comforting, in a way.
I suppose the first thing people see when they look at stuff like this is the cost….and many of those people will shake their heads and move on to something else. That’s fair enough, cos exactly how do you justify buying sex cushions with their price tags in the £100s?
Well, I personally look at Liberator gear as an investment. If properly cared for, they have longevity. They can give folks with disabilities and physical difficulties the support they need to not just try different positions, but to enjoy sex in ways they may have been unable to previously. Big bodies and pregnant bellies can find support, weak wrists don’t have to hold toys, dildo assisted double penetration becomes hands-free. Liberator products improve and enhance play whether you’re alone, with a partner, or multiples of partners.
After price, the other thing you should be aware of when Liberator shopping is how much real estate they’ll take up in your home. Support pieces like the ramp are enormous, so you’ll need to consider storage before you buy. Luckily for Humphrey, it just looks like a big hulking pillow, so for this one storage is simple. Right there on the bed, ready for when you need it.
If you’d like to give the Humphrey a go, click the banner below and head over to Lovehoney.