It may surprise you to read that I never expected to become such a huge fan of wand vibrators. Back when I got my first one I couldn’t get anywhere near orgasm with it. It was too buzzy and too noisy, the stimulation it provided far too broad. Whenever I used it my entire vulva would end up numb. I’d end up pissed off and I’d swear that I’d never buy another wand again. Fast forward some four odd years and I now have at least a dozen wands, four of which are currently stashed on and around my bedside table. Three of them are Doxy wands, and the forth is the LELO Smart Wand Large.
LELO is such a divisive brand these days. When it comes to their HEX condoms all you’ll hear from me is a very loud ‘nope’. I really do think those things are a thousand and one lawsuits waiting to happen and I think they should be discontinued for safety’s sake. But even though many bloggers have called time on their working relationships with LELO because of HEX (and the campaign that came with it) I can’t bring myself to write them off completely. Not when I’ve loved pretty much every toy of theirs that’s ever hung out between my thighs.
Firstly, the packaging. Like all LELO products, the Smart Wand is beautifully presented in a hard-card storage box inside of a tasteful, clean, throwaway box. Everything has its own little compartments, with the wand on display as soon as the lid is taken off the box, and the rest of the contents (charger, storage bag, lube sample, warranty card & instructions) are tucked neatly away.
I’m always pleased to see storage bags included with sex toys, but the one provided with the LELO Smart Wand is exceptionally nice. It’s made of black neoprene with cute purple stitching. Neoprene is quite thick and spongey so the bag offers a bit of extra protection, and the pillow-like fold at the top is much more convenient than drawstrings.
The wand itself is a lovely looking thing. Made mostly of silicone (black, in my case) with a chrome-esque, champagne (in my lighting) coloured ABS plastic panel down the front. It looks stylish and elegant, yet pretty simple in design.
This is a rechargeable wand and the pinhole is located at the very base of the toy. I’ve always been a fan of pin chargers (which this is) but I find that the bigger my collection gets the more I resent any charger that isn’t micro USB. It’s a pain in the arse to have to keep doing trips to the toy cupboard to hunt out specific chargers when I could be using my phone charger like I do with other toys. First world problem, I know, but we’re all entitled to a bit of a whinge every now and again.
All of the weight of this wand is in the head, and I find that works great for keeping it in contact with my vulva without me having to put a load of pressure on. From end to end it’s 13” long following the outer curve. The super smooth silicone head is 3” high with a girth of just over 7.5”, and the flexible neck has a circumference of 4.5”.
I find this wand really comfortable to hold thanks to the shape of the handle. At the top it’s only just slimmer than the head, but it tapers down to a super slender 3.5” around the middle before widening to 5”. I tend to hold it around and just above the thinnest point, then I slide my thumb down to the controls and then back again once I’m set. This offers me the best grip and also prevents me from accidentally pressing the controls.
Said controls are situated just above the ABS insert. The LELO insignia is debossed into the silicone and inside of each loop is a button. Plus and Minus to control the intensity, and a mode button in the middle. The travel lock is also accessed through these buttons, too, just press Plus & Minus together for 5 seconds to either lock or unlock it. Plugging the charger in unlocks it, too.
So, you get 8 patterns with the LELO Smart Wand. They’re all much of a muchness until you hit number 8. That one is quite a shocker if you’re playing on lower settings cos it’s the only one that incorporates the highest intensity. I’m not shitting you, my clit got the fright of its life even though I knew the power boost was coming.
It’s hard to pin down how many intensities there are in this wand. To get to max I have to press the Plus button nine times, but to get to the lowest setting I have to press it eleven times. No, I’m not just derping the button, each press brings it down but it just keeps going. Weird.
Now, when I first spotted the LELO Smart Wand I wondered what, exactly, was smart about it. I soon found out once I got my hands on this one. It has a feature called SenseTouch which – according to the user manual – is engineered to mimic professional massage techniques. Basically, rather than smacking your muscles with full speed vibes or having to piss about pressing buttons, SenseTouch starts low. Once it touches the body the vibrations take a few seconds to intensify. This is all achieved by clever little touch sensors in the head.
I honestly scoffed at this feature, not seeing the point at all. Until I tried it on my shoulders and neck, that is. It actually works really well and I’ve adopted the Smart Wand as my new fave massage tool when the Fella’s hands aren’t around.
But the Smart Wand isn’t a sports massager. It works on muscles, sure, but it’s not made for them. It’s made for sexy shenanigans, for helping folks get their rocks off. And I’m pleased to say it does a stellar frigging job!
I really love the deep, rumbly vibrations of this wand. They shake me to the core, though once I hit max they do lose some of their fantastic quality and become a bit buzzy. But if I avoid that highest intensity I have some pretty perfect vibes. I can feel them reaching every part of my clit, even the bits I can’t see. They travel to my butt, I feel them in the entrance to my vagina almost as if it’s a super shallow penetration. I don’t need a dildo to reach orgasm with this wand, it just happens.
Something else it does brilliantly for me is g-spot stim. If you’re accustomed to large toys the Smart Wand is fab for vaginal penetration. Plenty of lube helps it ease in there and once it’s in the neck curves around my pubic bone so it sits comfortably. Just a light amount of pressure pushes the handle back and the head forward, trapping it against my hottest of spots. From there I just need a bit of clit stim and the squirting comes first then the orgasm follows. Good job the Smart Wand is waterproof, isn’t it!
I’ve tried this with my Doxy before and it’s no good. With the head and neck being separate pieces there’s no flow to the shape. The base of the head gets jammed and it’s just inadvisable. But the Smart Wand is all silicone so inserting and extracting it is pretty easy for me. But again, I must stress that I’m used to large insertions and that’s why I find it good for this.
The LELO Smart Wand only has one drawback, in my experience. The vibes travel right through the handle. That has the potential to irritate or numb fingers and mess with grip/pressure. If it was a buzzy toy that would piss me off no end, but the rumbles make it easier to bear. If it would be a problem for you there are wands out there where vibe travel is barely noticeable.
As mentioned earlier, the Smart Wand is waterproof. This wigs me out with pin charger toys cos I can’t get over the open hole in the base. I worry about rust, about the tenacious bastard that is water finding its way in somehow. But I’ve been cleaning my wand in a sink of soapy water and it’s suffered no ill effects. If you do experience issues of this nature, or any other, you have the LELO warranty to fall back on. Within the first year they replace faulty or broken toys (after investigation, I would assume). Once that 12 months is up, the cover changes to 50% off a replacement on the LELO website.
I’d definitely recommend this toy to anyone looking for a rechargeable wand. I’ve tried to find things about it to bitch about but I can’t. It’s a fab bit of kit and I love it.
If you’d like to give one a shot you can pick one up from my lovely sponsors, Crimson Princess. Just click the banner below to be whisked away to their site.