Insertables, buzzables, ride-ons and hitty things. I’ve reviewed all sorts of sexy stuff over the last year and a half or so, but never anything quite like this, so I have no idea where to start. But the Kinklab Neon Wand is something I love, and I’m going to try to explain my way through it as best as I can.
Firstly, I have a point I need to stress: You must buy your Neon Wand from a PROPER SEX TOY RETAILER! The Fella cut corners to save money and bought one from eBay, and when I plugged it in and switched it on, the socket smoked, banged and flashed, then the upstairs electrics tripped out. I nearly shit my pants, and it was almost enough to put me off wanting mains powered E-Stim altogether. Almost.
So after the Fella returned the dud and apologised for scaring me half to death, the new Kinklab Neon Wand arrived at my house and I was pretty much terrified of it. I was scared that if I plugged it in there would be fireworks of the actual fire variety rather than the sexy kind, and I considered asking him to return it. But once combined, my curiosity and sexual appetite are stronger than my sense of self-preservation, and in the end it stayed.
The wand comes in a tough cardboard box that closes with a magnetic snap. It’s lined with a foam insert that has cut outs for each of the wand’s parts. This is one of those times when the packaging is everything, as the glass electrodes that come with the wand are super fragile.
This particular wand comes with four attachments: a comb, a mushroom, a 90° probe, and a tongue.
The electrodes slot into the end of wand. You don’t need to jam it in there, and don’t wiggle or twist it either. A firm push until it feels snug will do, anything else and you run the risk of loosening the metal connector on the end of the electrode, or splaying the pins in the tip of the wand.
The wand itself is around 9” in length, made from hard white plastic with a soft rubber sleeve protecting the handle. I’ve read that this reduces back shocks for the one wielding it, and as the Fella hasn’t ever been shocked, I’d say it works. It’s operated by a spin dial situated at the base beside the power cable, and clicks to let you know when you’ve turned it on/off.
The cable isn’t all that long so we’ve never been able to venture far from a power point, but luckily for us there’s a socket right by the head of our bed, so we’ve not found the short cable a problem. The plug for this wand is a two pin one, so a UK adapter is required. This makes having your socket point sussed out all the more important, as using an extension with an adapter isn’t the best of ideas.
Each of the wand’s electrodes offer something different in terms of sensation, but one of the main draws for the Fella was the visual effect. We opted for purple, because we guessed that colour would be brighter than the red option. I can tell you now, the visual effects of the Kinklab Neon Wand are less than spectacular. The electrode does glow fantastically bright on the highest setting and you do get little purple arcs from the electrode to the skin, but those arcs are miniscule. They obviously look better in the dark, but then the Fella complains that he can’t see me, so we opt for muted light. He can still see the sparks, but they’re nothing that’ll make you gasp.
From my point of view, the visuals are less important. The only ones I really get to see are the ones the Fella skims over my nipples, and they seem like Zeus’ lightning bolts to me because I’m feeling as well as seeing. But that’s not all I’m doing. While I’m tied to the bed, having the electrodes traced over my neck, breasts, stomach and thighs, I’m hearing and smelling too. The crackle of the wand is loud and obnoxious enough to sound menacing, and added to the strong scent of ozone, it heightens all of my senses. I get tense and slightly unnerved, as though my body is preparing to weather a storm.
As I said earlier, each of the electrodes feel different in use, and I’ll tackle them one at a time, from mildest to the harshest this kit has to offer.
The Comb zapping away at my arm!
The Comb
Although the instruction booklet tells you to, starting out on the lowest setting is pretty pointless in my opinion. You need to get past the half power mark before you get any sensation, all there is below that is pale colour and noise. This electrode is a super gentle way to introduce your skin to the sensations this kit has to offer, because the power from the wand is spread out over all of the comb’s prongs. This in turn spreads it out over a larger area of your skin, making the sensations very mild, even on full power.
Now there’s a lot of material out there that warns you must never use electrical stimulation products above the waist and never near the head, but I ignore that for two reasons:
- This type of Neon Wand has long been marketed as a facial beauty tool
- There’s not enough power in it to penetrate more than a fraction of a millimetre into the skin
So bearing that in mind, the most obvious way to use this electrode is for combing the hair. I love having pretty much anyone messing about with my hair, but the added little electrical prickles on my scalp feel extra amazing.
I also love having the comb used on the backs of my thighs and over my butt cheeks. Again, the zaps are more of a tickle than anything else, so it lends itself to teasing and foreplay brilliantly.
The Mushroom
Clitoris!! My clit absolutely loves this electrode! It’s wide enough to zap not only my clit but my entire clitoral hood too, and it feels fantastic. It’s just on the right side of painful for me, though it can get a little bit too uncomfortable if the Fella lets me get too dry. But he always has his conductive gel to hand, and he’s conscientious, so that’s rarely a problem.
He always tells me how much he gets off on watching those purple forks dancing over the most sensitive place on my body, and he loves that it demonstrates that I trust him 100%. He’s always careful not to let it hover for too long because it becomes very unpleasant for me.
The Tongue
This electrode is my favourite for all over body play. It has a smaller area than the previous two, so the zaps are more intense. It’s the most comfortable one to have near my mouth, though the closest I’ll let the Fella go is running it over my lips. I do let him touch the tip of my tongue with it sometimes, but not often because it hurts, I just don’t like it.
My favourite place for this one is my neck. Behind my ears, on my nape, down my throat, it all feels toe curlingly good! The Fella uses this one to draw letters on my back too, and it’s great fun trying to figure out what he’s writing.
The 90° Probe
Of the four electrodes, this one offers the most painful sensations, though they are still mild compared to other E-Stim devices. The bulb on the end is tiny, meaning that the full power of each zap is concentrated in very tiny areas. It reddens my skin very quickly, and I have hissed a few times to get the Fella to change the spot. You’re not supposed to hover over the same area for too long, but he likes to see where he’s been, so he revisits reddened areas and makes doubly sure he leaves his mark.
My favourite place to be zapped with this is my nipples. With the electrode tip being small, the purple arcs are at their most intense, and watching them shoot over my nips like my own personal lightning show is very Frankenstein, and very sexy.
The 90° probe in action!
Bottom line for the Kinklab Neon Wand is, I heart it. It isn’t what I’d consider a pain giver by any stretch, so it’s more than suitable for those taking their first steps into electrical stimulation. It has visual and acoustic impact, you can customise the sensations by electrode choice and power levels, and you can even buy additional attachments too. There’s one called the Power Tripper that turns you or your partner into an electrode! I’ll be reviewing that soon, so be sure to pop back.
In the meantime, click on the banner below if you’d like to have a Neon Wand of your own.
