Welcome to my first review of 2017! I’ve got a shit ton of things to talk about this month, but taking pride of place in the freshest of the fresh slots is a toy I’ve wanted since Noah parked the Ark. It was one of my top three toy picks in my Blogger Spotlight over at the very lovely Cara Sutra’s site. For more than a year I drooled over it and dreamt about it. And for the past month I’ve fucked it in every way I can think of.
Check out the Keep Burning Cock Skull Dildo.
What a spectacular specimen of dildo it is! See, I’m not even gonna do the, ‘will it be a negative or a positive review, only time will tell’ thing. Right from the off I’m gonna tell you that I love this thing to death. After the first use it entered my Top of the Cocks chart at number four and it isn’t leaving any time soon.
Honestly, I’m not kidding when I tell you that the Cock Skull has been at the top of my dildo wishlist for an aeons. When the peeps at MEO told me I could review it for them I fell off the bed in excitement, then I sat quietly contemplating the odd feeling in my chest. No, I hadn’t hurt myself. It was worry. Worry that it would be like meeting a hero. That I’d built it up so much in my head that, once it came and I used it, my experience couldn’t possibly live up to my expectations.
The Fella said I was bonkers, and that it was just a friggin’ dildo, but he didn’t get it. I desperately wanted it to be everything I’d told myself it would be, and I was past myself with joy when I discovered that it is!
Anyway, less about me and my covetous nature and more about the dildo.
I think I’ll get my love for the base out of the way first. It’s a freaking skull.
And that’s what first drew me to this particular toy. What it had over everything else on the market was the skull, which is the funkiest design I’ve ever seen in a dildo. It’s macabre, sexy, and tongue-in-cheek to say the least. You don’t have to look far for a dickhead related pun here.
You only have to look at the picture above to see that it’s a hefty motherfucker. Look at the way it dwarfs my little hands. It’s massive, but not as massive as my smile every time I open the fubbard (fubbard = fuck-cupboard, for those who don’t follow me on social media) and see it literally grinning at me.
The Cock Skull Dildo is 11” from end to end, with 7.5” of that being insertable. The semi-realistic shaft has a circumference of 8.5 glorious inches at the base and slims a wee bit to 7.25” around the subtly ridged glans. That makes for one filling, thrilling ride!
It’s got some weight to it too, as you would expect from such a huge amount of silicone. On my scales it weighs in at 1235g. That’s over 2.7lb, and that’s enough weight to keep it steady on a flat surface while you ride the hell out of it.
The silicone is matte black and subtly textured, and needs a lot of lube to prevent drag. That could be largely to do with the size, though, as for me it’s literally wall to wall once it’s inside me.
And man, do I love having it inside me!
If I’m using the Cock Skull Dildo alone, I have to have it on a hard surface so I can sit on it. I can’t hold it in my hands to fuck myself with it for any more than five minutes cos it’s just too bloody heavy. That does reduce my position options to cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, which kinda sucks, but once I’m on and bouncing away on it I honestly don’t care.
The stretch offered by such a thick dildo feels incredible. It’s almost painful, but the slight squish to the outside of the firm shaft prevents that from being a problem. And because there’s some flex to it, I can adjust my hips so that my pubic bone doesn’t get a battering because of the tighter than tight fit.
Once it’s in me, which takes a minute or two of little thrusts, moving down a bit more with each one, I go slowly. And I keep going slowly right up until the point of orgasm. Too much fast thrusting can be quite uncomfortable as the lube dries up fast and I don’t produce copious amounts of natural lubrication unless my arousal levels are off the charts…
Which is exactly what they are whenever I see the Fella between my thighs, holding the Cock Skull in both hands. Yep, then I can take a good pounding, and I love the look of exertion on his face as he battles the weight to keep up his fast pace. Awesome stuff!
What does my butt think?
Basically, it thinks, slow the fuck down, Ella! I have a terrible habit of not planning anal play if I’m alone, and just deciding halfway through a vaginal fuck that I need something more. With almost all of my sex toys I can do that, but not with the Cock Skull. I’ve had a few occasions where my desire levels have scrambled my senses and I’ve fallen into the ‘I’ve taken it anally before’ trap. Yes, there was blood.
Just because I know something can go in my butt doesn’t necessarily mean my butt is always primed and ready for it. Warming up is essential for me when it comes to the Cock Skull. Every. Single. Time.
But when I do warm up and get myself ready for it, using it anally is fantastic. It stays put so insertion is less of a floppy struggle, but do bear in mind that the head is dully rounded. There’s no helpful taper to make insertion more comfy. It’s a sharp BAM, I’M IN kinda situation. That can be quite a shock, even when you’re expecting it.
My anal orgasms are so powerful when I use the Cock Skull, though. I really do think that my vaginal hot spots get as much stimulation because of the filling and internal adjustment that goes on to accommodate something so big. Just squeezing my butt around it can bring me to orgasm, and it can make me gush too.
Cleaning and storage
Keep Burning silicone can be boiled, bleached with 10% bleach solution, or cleaned under a running tap with soap. I use vaginal wash and antibacterial toy cleaners, especially after using the Cock Skull anally as my bloody condoms keep splitting.
After washing, I let it air dry in an old shoe box that I’ve lined with microfiber cloth. Once that’s done it stands on a shelf in the fubbard. The silicone loves hair and lint, so if you’re putting it in a drawer you’ll need a bag, and a big assed bag at that.
This probably doesn’t need to be said, but the Cock Skull Dildo truly is a toy for size queens. It might look awesome when you see it on a product page, but the reality is, it’s massive. It’s not the biggest by any means, but it’s definitely one for those who have experience with big toys.
If you’re one of those people and would like to add one to your collection, you can pick one up here.
The Keep Burning Cock Skull Dildo was sent to me by MEO in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.
