If there’s one sex toy that’s seriously underused at Scandarella House it would be the vibrating cock ring. Call me selfish, but I rarely get anything from them, so I think, what’s the point? Not cool, really, given that the Fella really likes them. But when one of his favourite brands releases one there’s no way would I get away with not giving it a go. That’s why I’m sat here writing about the Hot Octopuss ATOM.
Like I said, the Fella loves his Hot Octopuss stuff. I didn’t get along with my Queen Bee as much as I wanted to, though. The troubles I had with that toy run along a similar vein to those I have with vibrating cock rings.
The problem? My labia.
You know when Indiana Jones launched himself, Willie, and Short Round out of a dying plane in a rubber dinghy? In their current state, my flaps could have been a stunt double for the fucking boat. Yes, I have big labia and they get in the way of certain styles of sex toy, vibrating cock rings being one of them.
When I whipped the ATOM out of its box my first thought was, woah, how big is that?! The chunky-assed thing measures 3.5” from end to end and is 2.5” at its widest. I’d never seen a palm-sized cock ring before, so my interest in it grew tenfold.
Made of smooth, black silicone with a silver plastic strip around the top, the ATOM is a lovely looking thing. The cock cuddling ring is around 1cm thick at the base and the silicone thickens until, at the vibrating end, it’s around 1.5” thick. It’s hard to photograph (when you’re shit at photography like I am) but there’s a raised bump on the front of the vibrating end. I’ll tell you more about that in a bit.
The silver plastic strip I mentioned? That’s where you’ll find the controls. The ON/OFF button is located on the silicone and that’s the one that gives you access to the five vibration modes. Above that button, right at the edge of the plastic is a minus button, and on the other end, there’s a plus button. Those two adjust the intensity of the vibrations, making every mode customisable to the users liking.
When I first switched the vibes on (after a painstaking 2-hour wait for charging) I think my eyebrows disappeared. I was super impressed with the power, even on the lowest setting. They’re closer to a rumble than a buzz, though I do still detect a bit of waspishness to them. Not enough to classify it as a buzzy vibrator, but noticeable.
Wanna know just how selfish I am? Read, if you will, an exchange between me and my beloved:
Him: What are you up to?
Me: Testing the Hot Octopuss ATOM.
Him: It’s a cock ring, Ella. Shouldn’t it go, you know, on my cock?
Me: Would you forget about your fucking cock for five minutes? I’m 99% sure it’ll make me come if I whack it on my clit.
Him: Whack it on ya clit? Is that a technical blogger term?
Me: Yes, now please sit the fuck down and have a wank so I have something to look at while I see if this works for me.
And work it did. Just rolling the plastic top back and forth over my clit (on speed #4, if you wanna know) while watching the Fella dance with his cock was more than enough to get me off. I was so happy that the ATOM’s vibes were strong enough to make me come. That meant that, even if it crashed and burned during penetrative sex, we could still use it together without me missing out. Like I said, selfish.
After seeing me come, the Fella wanted a go himself. The silicone ring is just shy of 1.5” in diameter and it isn’t all that stretchy. My fingers can only stretch it to 2” width ways, though length ways I can get it to 3”. Big enough for most cocks, but could be awkward to put on for those blessed with monster girth.
A lick of water-based lube makes it easier to slip on to an erect cock, and a little pushing and pulling gets it situated nice and snugly at the base. The Fella says it’s super tight, but not so tight it makes him uncomfortable. The result delighted me no end. His cock looked longer than usual, and it was as hard as a rock. Big, greedy eyes for Ella!
I was expecting loads of dirty, buzzy sex, but that’s not what I got. He turned it on, cranked it up to full and came in just a few minutes. I hid my pout, but he noticed anyway and suggested that it might have been cos he was ready before he even put the cock ring on.
The next time we tried it? Dude came like a train before I could climb aboard. And the next? Same again. The ATOM works brilliantly for him, which is fantastic, but it miffed me that I couldn’t get a look in.
After about two weeks of use, he accidentally overdid it with the lube one afternoon. The ATOM was slipping around so he used it as a (ridiculously tight) sleeve that looked like it was about to snap his cock in half. That little bit of movement of the toy rather than just letting it sit really helped him last longer. That taught us that all-hands-on-deck = more stamina, so eventually I got to climb on.
As expected, I didn’t get anything from the ATOM other than transferred vibes. My clit did get a bit of a tickling through my labia, and when he gave me all his weight I did get some good contact, but not enough to sacrifice my comfort for.
But that doesn’t matter cos, first and foremost, the Hot Octopuss ATOM is for cocks and I don’t have one of those. What’s important – if I let the selfishness go – is how brilliantly it works for the Fella. He’s learnt how to use it without jizzing all over himself in minutes, so we can really appreciate how good it is. He especially likes turning the ring ‘upside down’ so that the bump I mentioned earlier presses between his balls while I give him head. We get back to ‘fast love’ territory when we do that, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
To clean the ATOM, all I do is wash it with warm, soapy water. Did wig out a bit cos the silver plastic seems to be quite loose. I was worried that water would get in and kill it, but that hasn’t happened, so I’ve stopped stressing.
Folks with smaller labia might well love to use the ATOM during PIV sex. If both parties have a penis I can see stimulating the receiving partner’s perineum during anal in the best of ways. Or, like me, you could always just whack it on your clit. It’s better than some actual clit vibes out there.
To give it a shot, click the banner below and head over to Hot Octopuss.