If I’m making a sex toy purchase I devour every review I can find before clicking ‘buy now’. I search for clues in a reviewer’s history to see if I can match their preferences to mine. Work out if they like and dislike the same things as me so I know if a toy has a chance of being right for me. But avoiding reading reviews of things I’d like to review is something I adopted early on in my reviewing days. I’ve always wanted to approach each new product with no preconceptions, no chance of my opinions being influenced by the experiences of others.
Despite my efforts at keeping my mind clear of other people’s thoughts, being exposed to generalised opinions is something that can’t be avoided. When I came across the Gvibe 2 by Fun Toys London, some of the comments I read were less than positive. Oddly, most of those folks hadn’t even tried the thing, their negative views were formed by looking at pictures of the toy online.
Comments along the lines of “OMG that looks terrifying” and “Why would you want to get that pokey thing wedged inside you” all caught my attention, so naturally it went straight on my lust list. Not only did I want to bust the myths surrounding a product that seemed to genuinely scare a few people, but I personally thought it looked exceptionally fuckable.
I do understand why people get edgy orifices when they look at it, though. The Gvibe 2 is a split shaft vibrator that curves quite dramatically in two different directions. It’s impossible to make out just how that is going to work if you’re just looking at pictures, so it stood to reason that people who didn’t investigate further would be alarmed.
One it arrived, my own first impressions of the Gvibe 2 were all hugely positive. I was pleasantly surprised by how big it is. Made joyful by the beautiful colour. Impressed by the weight, the quality of materials and build. Oh, and I was also instantly turned on by the possibilities the split shaft offers.
Like I just said, the Gvibe 2 is a decently sized vibrator, and the shape is fantastic. The total length is around nine inches and six of those are insertable. The girth isn’t actually all that big at just 4.5” in circumference just beneath the split, but there’s something about it that makes it seem so much bigger. The shaft bulges out at the base into an oval handle with a 6” girth and a hole for the fingers. I have to say that loop handles aren’t my favourite thing ever, but this one is pretty easy to hold. It’s chunky with room enough to comfortably fit two fingers.
Most of the toy is made from gloriously silky, soft touch silicone (mine is blue and gorgeous, but it’s also available in pink) that seems to repel dust and pet hair, which is a blessing. There’s a silvery plastic strip between the handle and the shaft and also a matching ring inside of the finger loop. These I don’t particularly like. No matter how thoroughly I clean the toy (it’s waterproof so it goes in a sink of soapy water and gets the toothbrush treatment) I still find bits of crusted on lube and body fluids in the gaps between the plastic and the silicone. That drives me mad, I hate having to clean things twice.
The shaft of the Gvibe 2 is a thing of beauty, in my opinion. Split into two 3” long pieces, each with a circumference of 3” there’s just so many possibilities for use. The booklet inside of the solid tubular packaging offers 10 suggestions!
Even if this was just a funky split dildo it would intrigue the shit out of me, but as I said, it’s a vibrator. A triple motor, 10 speed, 6 function vibrator. Each of the tips has their own motor, and the third is situated in the shaft, just below the split. Two of the three buttons on the handle let you scroll up and down through the intensities, and the middle one switches through the modes. Constant vibes, alternating tip vibes, waves, pulses and beats… it’s all there, so whatever your preference you’ve a good chance of finding something you like.
But how do the vibes feel?
Fan-fucking-tastic. Rumbly, powerful and deeply penetrating, I get clitoral orgasms from this thing within minutes. My favourite way to achieve that is to whack it up to full speed and let the tip of one of the arms just skim my clit. It doesn’t just vibrate, it kinda bounces off me too in some crazy high-speed tapping motion. Just moving it away once or twice to tickle y labia before moving it back again shocks my clit into thinking the vibes are getting stronger and that results in eye-crossingly good orgasms.
The Fella and I spent a full night trying out all of the suggestions in the info leaflet. They can be found on the website too, along with a couple more. If you’ve looked, I can tell you now that I definitely can’t use the Gvibe 2 to stimulate both of my nipples at the same time. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who could, I don’t know anyone that narrow.
I won’t go through every single one cos I’ll be writing this review for a month if I do, but here are a few highlights and one or two lows:
After a satisfyingly filling fuck? Squeezing the arms of the Gvibe 2 together and inserting the whole damned lot into an orifice is a good way to get it. It doesn’t open up for me to stimulate both my front and back walls with any kind of real pressure, but I can feel that it wants to. I can feel it wanting to spring back into its split position, and that makes it feel so much bigger than it actually is. The tip of the upper arm nudges and strokes against my G-Spot and the vibes feed it with strong sensations.
I can thrust, grind, hammer my cervix or angle the shaft so that it bombards my A-Spot with all those lovely vibes. And what’s more, if I prop my butt up on a pillow the Fella can do all that for me during anal sex. Yep, the Gvibe 2 is a fab toy for double penetration, making things tighter and buzzy for him and just mind blowing for me.
Another success for me is vaginal/clitoral dual stim. I can’t reach my G-Spot using the Gvibe 2 this way, but that doesn’t matter at all. Again, DP is really enhanced by it and getting to be in control of what my vagina and clit are feeling while the Fella gets on with his thing has resulted in some amazing orgasms for us both.
No. No, no, no, NO. I really do not like solo DP with the Gvibe 2. I’m a big girl so my reach is a bit limited. That makes getting two shafts that curve in completely different directions into two holes that I can’t even fucking see a nightmare. A good buttering with water-based lube goes a long way to making vaginal and anal insertion a bit easier, but not by much. I can get them both in, after a struggle, but once I do things don’t improve much. I love hard nasty fucking, but I honestly thought I was gonna need stitches after using the toy this way.
If I tried to insert it more than an inch it pushed my two entrances away from each other. The stretch was uncomfortable and I did bleed a little bit. In the interests of transparency I will admit that the blood only happened cos I wouldn’t be beat and I literally forced an orgasm out of the pain. It was a good orgasm, but a stupid one that I wouldn’t strive for again.
Using the Gvibe as a Y shaped stand during oral is a giggle. The Fella loves the odd tickle against his balls and the feeling of the vibes constantly feeding into his shaft while I blow it gets him every time. He sometimes wants me to just hold it there while my mouth does the work, other times he wants me to stroke him with it while I keep my head still. He’s even pinched the ends against his cock a couple of times when he’s close to coming. So much fun!
Another oral sex enhancer. The Fella enjoys using the Gvibe 2 this way. I have to keep the vibes on low (fifth speed or less) because his balls don’t like the stronger settings, but he loves the mode that alternates the vibes between the two tips. I have accidentally over inserted and stretched him uncomfortably a couple of times, but that’s over enthusiasm on my part.
This suggestion is the worst. Because the vibes have to travel through my whole face I have to turn the vibes up to max. And even then, the Fella can only feel a mild vibration that doesn’t do a great deal to enhance what he’s already feeling. I, on the other hand, get wobbly eyes, a weird feeling jaw, uncomfy teeth and a headache brought on by dizziness. I did try on two separate occasions, but I know that the third time won’t be the charm so won’t be doing it again.
A few more pros:
- The Gvibe 2 is USB rechargeable! Yeah, it’s a magnetic charger and the whole ‘oops it disconnected’ thing pisses me right off, but I’ll always take rechargeable over batteries. First charge takes around 2 hours and you get a whopping 4 hours of play from a full charge. We’ve used it loads and we’re still to flatten the battery.
- The Gvibe 2 is super quiet. I have a kid in the house so I’m very aware of how loud sex toys are, and I’d go so far as to say that this one is almost silent. On the lower intensities it is silent, and even on high it’ll only be heard in the dead silence of night. If you have the doors wide open. It really is that quiet, which is a massive plus as far as I’m concerned.
- A storage bag is included. This might seem like a pointless pro, but it isn’t. It shows that Fun Toys give a fuck about people who can’t keep packaging for whatever reason. It shows that they want you to have somewhere safe to store your toy to make sure it stays in top condition. Including bags is a small thing but it’s a huge gesture in my opinion.
Keeping your Gvibe 2 clean is a breeze for the most part, but there are a few spots that need close attention. As I said above, the silver trims get a bit gunky around the edges, and the buttons also need a bit of a scrub. Another place that needs double checking is the inside of the split. That V gets pretty clogged with crap and it’s too tight to get in there with a finger or a toothbrush, so I use the edge of a face cloth.
So, that’s my review of the Gvibe 2. It’s great for some things, awful for others, but the vibes are always constantly fabulous. If you’d like to get your hands on one, click the link below.