Cunt Dickula. Vlad the Impale-her. Vampeen. Nobferatu. Yeah, the Fleshlight Freaks Drac Dildo is a dream come true for not just me but also for the pun-loving whackjob that is the Fella. Getting to review it has been one of the most exciting things that’s happened in Scandarella Land this year, and I’ll tell you why…
Like many people, I’m a huge fan of the vampire. The first book I ever bought for myself was Bram Stoker’s Dracula, when I was twelve-ish. By the time I hit fourteen I was going to see vampire movies on my own. Scary vamps always frightened the shit out of me when I was younger, but once I realised that the beautiful, tragic, yet still deadly vampire was a thing, I found my first true love.
When I first saw the Freaks Drac a few years ago it was already discontinued, but I tried my best to find one. And find one I did, eventually, in a shop that turned out to be in Australia. As much as I wanted needed it the Drac would have cost me well over £100 by the time delivery and customs had their wicked way with me, so I accepted that it wasn’t ever gonna be mine.
But then, just this year, Fleshlight brought the Freaks dildo range back, along with a new addition – The Bigfoot – and some new masturbators. After a chat and an oopsie delivery in which I received a dildo – the Zombie – that gave me the belly wobbles, a super speedy package was sent out and I finally had the Drac in my clutches!
And what a beauty it is!
I confess that I worried about what it would look and feel like once it arrived. I’ve said it before, but I do believe that ‘don’t ever meet your heroes, cos they can only disappoint you’ is legit. That’s where I was at with the Drac at first.
As it was a rushed delivery my Drac didn’t make it into its packaging. So, once it came out of the box, I instantly had it in my hands. The sheen on it is gorgeous! Super, super glossy, and a deep bloody red, it really does look completely vamptastic.
Made from body safe silicone, it’s pretty standard in terms of size. From the tip of its realistic head to its base it measures up at a shade over seven inches, six of which are insertable. At its widest point it has a girth of six inches, with a five or so inch girth around the head.
Aside from the vamp aspect, something I loved the thought of was the Drac’s texture. Every inch of it has something going on, but the main feature starts on the upper side of the shaft and wraps around the sides. What is it? Bat wings. Sweeping bat wings that give a veined feel to top side of the shaft and widen into lovely deep ridges down the sides. They’re at their boldest around the bottom of the shaft, perfect for stimulating the opening of the vagina or anus.
It’s a semi-realistic dildo, so has a nicely defined head with a gentle but noticeable coronal ridge and frenulum. The testicles are in proportion with the rest of the piece, and large enough to get a good grip on during play. Plus, they make the Drac ace for using with a toy mount, if you have one. Adding to the realistic side is a texture that covers the whole toy. It’s bobbly with a hair follicle feel. That’s at home on the ball sack but I must say it’s a bit strange on the head, which I always expect to be smooth. But no, there’s not a smooth part to this dildo, unless you count the flat bottom of the base.
That’s all good, though, cos it’s all there in the name of sensation.
Using the Fleshlight Freaks Drac is a pleasure. Plenty of water-based lube is a necessity cos of the glossy finish. It’s draggy, so I make sure I’m well lubed at the start, and I keep the bottle on hand for top ups.
Vaginally, I love how filling it is. As I said, it’s not huge, but it is nice and firm. The silicone has plenty of flex to it but there’s very little squish. Whether thrusting by hand or riding it, it’s got everything I like bar a curve. The texture of the bat wings feels lovely if I twist while I thrust and it’s just a joy to use.
Anally, it’s a bit magical. I love bold textures for anal play, but some of them can be a bit harsh sometimes. Even though the Drac has some audacious ridges, it isn’t overwhelming. I can feel every single one of them, sure, but because they’re raised from the shaft, this is where you’ll find what little squish this toy has. There’s a softness to them that doesn’t rip at my butthole no matter how vigorous I get, and it’s a big enough shaft to give me the depth and stretch that I crave.
Yeah, this one ticks so many boxes for me, I’m delighted with it!
As it’s silicone, it can be cleaned easily. Soapy water does the job, as do toy cleaners and wipes. I thought I would end up getting my grump on when it came to cleaning the most textured parts, but I don’t. The only part that needs special attention is the coronal ridge. The dip between that and the shaft is quite deep, so running a nail around it a few times is wise.
I have so many folks to recommend this to. Vampire fans, obviously, or just those who love horror things. Peeps who do vampy role-play, oh my God! Those who like their shafts large yet still manageable, and those who live for texture will love it, and anyone who collects dildos that look different to the norm will probably be proud to have it in their display.
If you want to get your hands on one, click the banner below and go pick one up now. I don’t know how long they’re gonna be around for, so grab yours before they disappear again!
