One thing a sex toy reviewer needs a hell of a lot of, is lube. Lube is one of the best things to happen in the history of sex and masturbation, but not all lube is equal. Some contain questionable ingredients, some is composed of simple ingredients that don’t work well with some toys. Other lubes are perfectly safe for use with both the body and whatever you choose to put inside of it. And then there’s The Butters Personal Lubricant, and it’s in a league all of its own.
I had no idea what to expect when I was told I could review The Butters. All I knew was that it’s homemade – by hand – contains no harmful ingredients, and is made by a super sex positive person called Jerome Stuart Nichols.
In my review package I received a large 8oz tub and three mini pots of Original Aloe Vera & Shea Butter lube. There was also three mini pots of Cocoa Butter & Honey lube. Those sampler pots were supposed to go to friends as tempting testers, but I confess that only four made it out of the door. I kept two pots of the Cocoa Butter & Honey, cos I’m a fiend.
But for this review, I’m gonna talk about the Aloe. The tub is one of those dark amber plastic ones that you often get topical creams in, and the label stuck to it looks like it’s something you’d find in a pharmacy, too. Nice and simple, if a bit clinical, but not marketed at any particular gender. Just as you’d expect from a queer owned company. More companies should do this, and not just for lubes, but that’s a song for me to sing another day.
On the label, you’ll find an ingredients list and a ‘free-from’ list:
Ingredients
- Aloe
- Shea Butter
- Oils – grapeseed, olive, soy, palm
- Apple cider vinegar
- Guar Gum
Free-From
- Scents
- Dyes
- Sweeteners
- Parabens
- Alcohol
- Gluten
- Phthalates
- Bullshit
No bullshit indeed! It’s good to see that there’s more that didn’t go into this lube than did. You could eat it if you wanted to, cos there’s nothing in it that you can’t consume. Yes, shea butter (a fat extracted from a nut of the shea tree) and guar gum (a thickening agent made from guar beans) are both as edible as the rest of the ingredients.
Except, this stuff isn’t for eating. It’s for slathering all over your frilly bits when it’s time to get frisky. So, that’s exactly what I did!
When I first unscrewed the lid and peeled away the seal, I admit that I laughed. I felt foolish because, even with a name like The Butters, I hadn’t expected to see, well, butter. But that’s pretty much what it is. Pale yellow, oily, solid but melty…it looks exactly like spreadable butter.
It doesn’t smell like it, though. It has a distinct kitchen store cupboard whiff about it. You know, the cupboard where all your baking ingredients are kept? It smells like a load of scents that have combined into one, and individual fragrances can no longer be isolated. Long story short, it’s stinky
But it’s not stinky enough to be off putting. And yes, I did put it in my mouth. I wouldn’t recommend it for oral sex, cos it tastes like unbaked Ryvita. Unless you like that taste, of course. If you do, go for it cos it’ll probably be fab for oral!
No, I didn’t do any oral sex with The Butters Personal Lubricant, but I did do a whole load of wanking. Fingers, clit vibes, rabbits, dildos, anal plugs… silicone (yes, it’s oil based, but is fine for use with silicone), glass and steel. The Butters is an (almost) all-round awesome lube that lasts for ages, feels great while in use, and leaves your skin feeling soft, to boot. Some all-rounders can be useless for anal, but not The Butters. It provides a huge amount of slip, and a surprising amount of cushioning given that it spreads so thinly.
The Fella adores it for masturbation, whether the hand doing it is mine or his own. It doesn’t need reapplying, doesn’t dry up or turn sticky or draggy. It’s plain sailing and stays with him right until the end.
And then there’s penetrative partner sex.
The Butters Personal Lubricant is king for penis in vagina/anus sex, for all of the reasons it’s perfect for everything else. The Fella does notice the smell during doggy positions, probably because our body heat makes it stronger. But, just like me, he isn’t put off by it. He’s too busy enjoying what his dick is doing to worry about how the lube smells.
So, yeah, it’s a brilliant lube that begs to be reached for every time there’s fuckery afoot. As a card carrying Sliquid groupie, I didn’t think I’d ever find a lube that would tip it off the top spot, and as much as it pains me to say it, I haven’t. If The Butters tasted a little sweeter on the tongue I’d be able to use it for oral sex, but it doesn’t and I can’t, and that’s the only thing that stops me from handing it Sassy’s crown. But then if it was sweeter there’d be a compromise on the integrity of the ingredients, so it’s right that it should stay exactly as it is.
Just as a matter of interest, for those who haven’t visited Jerome’s site, The Butters Personal Lubricant has more than just sexual applications. Here’s a list of suggested uses:
- Hair, Skin, & Nail Conditioner
- Ashiness Eraser
- Massage Lotion
- Face Cleanser
- Makeup Remover
- Leather & Wood Care
- Hot Oil Treatment
- Shaving Lubricant
- Beard Conditioner
- Skin Protector
- Tattoo Aftercare
I’ve tried it as a make-up remover, foot massage lotion, cuticle oil, and as a shaving cream when I felled the forest on my legs. It performed well for all jobs, but especially as make-up remover. It didn’t smell great, but it did leave my usually dry chops feeling baby-butt smooth, and it helped a little with my rosacea redness, too.
It’s definitely one I’d recommend to pretty much anyone, really. It’s body safe, pregnancy safe, vegan, non-toxic, and it makes fiddling with whatever you keep in your pants a joy. If you’d like to give The Butters a go, click the banner below and head over to Peepshow Toys.
