One of my favourite ‘Big Brands’ is Blush Novelties. I’ve been lucky enough to try many of their products over the last few years. Squishies from the Real Nude line. Adorable plugs from the Play with Me line. And a few lovely pieces from the Ruse line, the first of which was the Blush Novelties Ruse D Thang Dildo.
The first thing anyone who can see colour is gonna notice about the D Thang is how pink its silicone is. Ye gods, it’s shocking. Neon pink. Nuclear pink. So pink it almost glows in broad frigging daylight. If you love pink you’re laughing, but if not, well…you don’t have to look at it once it’s between your legs unless you really want to. Personally, I like it. I’m not always a pink person, but when I am I get a kick out of how violent this shade actually is.
Once upon a time, I needed intense clit stim and serious dildo textures to achieve the kind of toe-curling orgasms I write about in my erotica. Over the years, though, I’ve taught myself how to enjoy all manner of insertable shapes, sizes and textures. But if I’ve got choices, I’ll usually plump for the biggest option available to me.
And yet, I opted for the Ruse D Thang. It’s a long-ish one, measuring 8½” from suction cup to tip. Insertable you’re looking at around 6½”. My vaginal canal is a maximum of 7” (if I’m forceful) so the D Thang offers pretty much the deepest penetration I’m capable of accepting. What it gives in length it kinda taketh away in girth, though.
At the coronal ridge it has a girth of 4¼”, and the lower portion of the shaft matches that. The top of the shaft is a slightly slimmer 4”. For me, that difference is totally negligible. When I use the Ruse D Thang it feels even all the way down, I don’t get any stretch from any part of it.
What I do get, though, is some good g-spot stimulation from the tip. It’s semi-realistic so has the look of an actual cock head. That head’s ridge might look subtle, but the silicone is quite firm so it offers some lovely pressure. I mean, I can fold it in half in any direction I wish so there’s plenty of flexibility to it, but it has very little give on squeezing.
If I use it frenulum side down, the ridge snaps over my pubic bone in the nicest of ways. Some silicones can be too form for that, making it feel like I’m trying to peel my insides, but this silicone feels great. It’s when I turn it upside down that the magic happens, though.
There’s a rather bold curve to the shaft, and spinning it upside down so that the frenulum faces my g-spot basically takes it directly there. A softer dildo would probably bend away from my front wall, but the Ruse D Thang stays exactly where it’s put. Because of the balls and suction cup, I’ve got plenty of handle, and that means freedom to thrust.
That pointy tip relentlessly jabs/rubs/grinds away at my hotspot. The angle provides a bit of tug around my opening. Just a bit of clit stim and I can merrily gush away until I can’t gush no more. I know that my g-spot needs a lot of effort put in for it to do its thing but I really appreciate dildos that take the effort away from my wrists and hands. This is one such dildo. Its comfy to hold and the suction cup is mostly shielded from lube and jizz by the balls, so I get to play a bit longer before my fingers start slipping.
When I want to get really wet, though, I keep it upside down and delve deeper. Using all of its length, I can get right up behind my cervix to my A-spot. Now, I’m not one for investigating why my body behaves the way it does unless I’m ill, so I have no idea what it is about the A-spot that is so damned awesome. But it only takes probably a minute of stimulation before I start to feel like I’m wazzing on the bed.
Hard, aggressive, almost cruel stimulation has me leaking and leaking, hovering somewhere on the edge of orgasm with little hope of actually coming. It’s one of those sensations that makes me thrust harder and harder in desperation. I can feel the orgasm right there, but I can’t reach it. It drives me insane, drives me on. Not gonna lie, when I find myself in this state of intense pleasure that isn’t orgasm I start to cry. Once I reach that point it takes a tiny amount of clit stim and a few rubs of my g-spot to get me over the finish line. I come so hard I get thigh cramps, which is a fucking rude way to end such an incredible experience but it can’t be helped.
I’ve had orgasms like these before, but never from silicone. It’s always been solid stuff like glass and wood. Unforgiving, rock hard, long dildos. I think it’s kinda awesome that I can do it with silicone, especially as the Ruse D Thang is so easy to keep hold of.
As with most silicone dildos, keeping the Ruse D Thang clean is a breeze. It can be boiled, bleached, slung in the dishwasher or dunked in a sink of soapy water. And it repels cat hair and fluff! What a blessing that is. Dildos that attract all the impurities in the air make me groan, so I really appreciate it when a dong stays fluff free.
Really, there’s nothing not to love about this dildo. Its suction cup is decent so if you’ve got smooth surfaces, you’ve got hands-free play. It’s harness compatible, too, so you can spread the joy or have it spread unto you by a harness wearing playmate. It goes without saying that folks who prefer chubby girths or mega lengths aren’t gonna love it, and if you need texture there’s nothing for you here. But if you enjoy slim, slick and lengthy, you’re in for a treat.
To give it a go, click on the Peepshow Toys banner below.
The Blush Novelties Rude D Thang Dildo was sent to me by Peepshow Toys in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.
