Valentine’s Day. Love it or hate it, it’s coming, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
To get myself in the spirit, I’ve been looking through my things to try to find some sex toys that are ideal for the occasion, and I came across something that is a true sheep in wolves clothing. No, I didn’t get that arse first, I meant what I said. Saying it the other way around would suggest you’ll get something that’ll surprise you and, sadly, with this toy you really won’t.
As the old adage goes, diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and the Bijoux Indiscrets 21 Diamond Shaped Clitoral Vibrator certainly looks the part. It’s beautifully presented, nestled in a flocked black bed inside of a solid black box within a gold sleeve (I chucked the sleeve ages ago, so don’t go looking for pics here cos there are none). The USB charging cable, info leaflets and storage bag are neatly tucked out of sight, making it a lovely looking thing to receive.
On closer inspection, all is not as luxurious as it seems. The vibe is made from ABS plastic with a metallic, gold tone finish, and the first time I picked it up I wondered if I was really holding it. Given that it’s quite chunky and palm sized, I would have expected it to have a lot more weight to it than it does.
The gold coating has great potential for scratching and chipping, especially around the Bijoux Indiscrets branding that has been debossed into the flat part at the top, and the shape of the vibe is cumbersome. It’s supposed to be ergonomic, but I find it awkward to hold, and the vibes (which I’ll talk about in a minute) give me itchy finger bones.
At first, charging this thing was a pain in the arse, because I couldn’t figure out where the charger actually went. I know, I know, there’s an instruction leaflet, but it was on the dresser and I was on the bed… But I finally had to make myself get up to get at it, and I learned that I had to flatten my palm against the branded part and twist the pointed end with the other hand to screw it in half.
After that, it was still a pain in the arse, because I don’t like having to mess about like that, but the screw on approach does make it waterproof, so maybe people who require that their toys be submersible can look past the awkwardness.
The Diamond seems like a very cheaply made product to me, which is a bit of a bummer, considering I’ve seen it for sale at £49.99. But even cheaply made vibrators can be worth your time if they’re fun to use and if the vibes are strong enough to deliver.
Sadly, neither of those things apply here.
Firstly, the vibes (which are controlled by a cheap looking button on the side) are dull and buzzy. I admit, the pleasant rumble the lowest speed offers made it seem promising, but it was all lies. The next speed up sees the rumbles vanish, and it only gets buzzier from there as you climb through the 3 speeds and 7 patterns.
The shape, while cute in theory, is actually useless. The vibes really fade at the pointed tip, which is sucky for those who want pin point stimulation. All of the power seems to be concentrated in the section where the two parts meet, but turning the vibe on its side makes getting accurate stimulation too much of a chore, and using the sides or the flat top makes those vibrations feel even weaker. I’ve tried dozens of times, and so has the Fella, but I’ve never been able to reach orgasm with this toy.
All in all, I’d liken the Bijoux Indiscrets 21 Diamond to a Blackpool novelty. Cute to look at (from a distance), nice to receive as a gift, but pretty much pointless in the end. If you’re still intrigued by it, click the banner below to check go it out.
The Bijoux Indiscrets 21 Diamond was a purchase. No Affiliate links have been used in this post.
