If you’re into fantasy dildos, especially those inspired by winged serpents that breathe fire, you’ll probably know all about Bad Dragon. They’re the creators of some of the most stunning dildos I’ve ever gazed upon. About half a year ago, I reviewed what could possibly be the most gorgeous Bad Dragon dildo I’m ever likely to come all over across. Now, after a lot of practice, it’s time to review its travel companion, and they’re about as different as two dildos can get. Yeah, it’s time for me to tell y’all what I think of my rather large Bad Dragon Apollo.
Quite simply, I love it. I love everything about it. Its shape, its design, its colour. And, after some trial and error, I learned to love its size. See, as I said in my last review, picking dildo sizes while even remotely horny is a shitty idea. But I really can’t help myself. Whenever I’m faced with size options I go in thinking, know your limits, Ella, but as soon as it comes down to it I’m like, FILL ME WITH THE BIGGEST BASTARD YOU HAVE AVAILABLE!! Which is exactly what I did when I did my custom picks for the Bad Dragon Apollo.
This gorgeous beastie is available in 4 sizes – S, M, L, & XL – and naturally, I picked XL. I looked at the scales, veins, dips and ridges and convinced myself that a 10.75” head circumference would be super manageable. Being 4 years into sex toy reviewing I really should not have been that naïve, but there you go.
Yeah, right from off this thing is huge and the journey down the shaft to the base only brings bigger things. After the head the shaft has a girth of 10”, and like most Bad Dragon dildos, the Apollo has a knot. This knot is a thigh trembling 12” in circumference. Add all of that fatness to the 11.25” total length (9.5” insertable) and you’re looking at, what I can only describe as a monster.
But it’s a beautiful monster thanks not only to the design but also the colour I plumped for. If you’re a lover of textured dildos the Bad Dragon Apollo will delight you. From the head to the supremely bulky base there’s something to look at and to feel. To my eyes, the head resembles a big old lemon juicer with the deep fluted pattern that covers it. There’s a bit of rattlesnake tail action running down the back of the head that blends into a retracted foreskin design, and then glorious boldly defined scales.
So far, so delicious. If you can make it to (and over) the knot, there’s some subtle veining to be had, if your orifice openings are sensitive enough. And covering the base is a bit more texturing in the form of reptile scales and, oddly, fur. Well, I see fur, the Fella suggested that maybe, given the toy’s name, the texturing is supposed to resemble flames.
With the Bad Dragon Apollo being such a big dildo, I was so pleased to feel a good amount of squish to the silicone. I opted for medium, knowing after my last big BD dildo that I’d need it to be firm enough to hold its own while being soft enough to yield to my shape a little. Because it’s such a biggie and there’s so much silicone it’s still pretty hard, I do feel like there is some cushioning thanks to the give.
The final thing I had to choose was my Apollo’s colour. Basically, you’re spoiled for choice at Bad Dragon. There are so many colours and combos and themes to choose from it’s actually hard to narrow down a fave. But then I realised that the very name of this toy dictated its colour in my mind, and I found that another Bad Dragon dildo had the perfect combo as its signature colour. So my sun god dragon got Elliot’s colouring, which is metallic gold to metallic copper fade. And it’s perfect, I couldn’t have wished for a better match.
But love it as I might, it’s taken me for-fucking-ever to get my arse to accept this thing. Even after over 6 months of trying and failing, I’m still struggling to take the knot. Just as I talked about in this review, I’ve had the problem of coming too fast with such big toys. The sensation of the stretch just blows me away within seconds of insertion and everything below my navel flips out. I tried but couldn’t keep playing once the orgasms were over.
After a while, I taught myself to take the head and I was so happy I could have cried. Though it looks good the texture isn’t actually killer at the top of the toy. Well, it wasn’t when I was just sinking down, coming, then falling off. Even riding straight up and down on it kinda felt a bit smooth. But adding a little hip twist as I gently bounce totally changes how this thing feels.
There’s a kinda bubbling, popping sensation that comes from the vertical grooves and it feels awesome. I’ve never been one for having legs that tremble so much in the approach to orgasm that they can’t support me, but it happens with the Bad Dragon Apollo. I shake and so does whatever I have to hold onto in order to stay upright.
That’s why I really love that this is a heavy assed piece of kit. I can’t use it with my hands because it’s too heavy, too bulky, and the angle to reach my butt is too weird. I have to lower myself onto it so once my hands are gripping the headboard, I need the toy to hold itself down, which it does brilliantly.
Even if it didn’t, though, it wouldn’t be a disaster cos I had the foresight to opt for the suction cup base. It’s strong enough to hold the Apollo to the bathroom tiles, which is fab, and it sticks to the floor/bath/chairs/doors…anywhere flat, really. Still, I prefer the sit and ride position, personally, cos I can see what I’m doing.
Even though I love my Bad Dragon Apollo, I wish I’d opted for something smaller. The textures look like they’d be incredible for vaginal stimulation. And the swollen head could do wonders for my g-spot, but I can’t get this thing in my vag. I should consider all of my needs when choosing sex toys instead of just aiming to scratch one particular itch. Being filled almost to splitting is super-hot for sure, but for me, doing it often isn’t practical. I have busy orifices, folks.
Finally, a word on cleaning. The Bad Dragon Apollo is made of silicone so all of the usual cleaning methods apply. If you’re a bleacher, a boiler, or a soaper, it’s all good. I use soap and water and a toothbrush for the really deep dips, then I towel dry. Lint sticks like a bitch, though, so I always give the toy a quick rinse before use.
If you’d like to add the Apollo to your collection, click the Bad Dragon banner below.
