Pegging. What a whole load of fun that business is. But even so, I will confess to having been afraid of it not a million months ago, because it made me do things that didn’t really sit right with me. It put me in a dominant position over the Fella, for a start, which is almost enough to ruin any play session for me, but that wasn’t the worst of it.
It took me a while to figure out what the unknown issue that kept making me lose my stride was, but with a little help from a friend, I finally did. My issue? Pegging the Fella made me feel hyper masculine. Because I’m a PCOS sufferer, I have a very awkward relationship with my femininity as it is, so running around the place with a silicone dildo poking out from between my legs, pinning the Fella to the bed, and being on the giving end of some pretty violent thrusting was making me subconsciously believe that I was doing the ‘mans’ work.
Addressing my fears about how the Fella was perceiving me during strap-on sex was a difficult and uncomfortable conversation, but we talked it through and he reassured me that he saw me as what I want to be seen as: a woman. Dolling up in a frilly corset and stockings to watch myself fucking him in the mirror went a long way to assuaging my fears of not being womanly enough. I am womanly enough, and since that revelation the arrival of not just a multi-coloured silicone cock to parade around in, but a gorgeous harness to use it in too has given me more pegging confidence than I would have ever have expected myself to possess.
The dildo I’ll talk about another time, cos today it’s all about the Tantus Black Widow Connoisseur Harness.
Oh my glittery goth, this thing feeds so many sides of my personality it’s unreal. The girly in me is as enchanted with the cute spider web design as the dead girl in me is darkly delighted. The leather fiend is happy, the cold steel on cool black lover is happy… even the Halloween groupie has something to shout about.
So, what do we have? Well, first off, I’ll tell you that the entire Black Widow Harness is made from gorgeous, super soft black leather, and all of the stitching is done in red thread. The striking front piece (I call it my cod piece, cos I’m a child) measures 8×6.25 inches, and features a stunning red and black leather spider web. Same with the back piece too. That’s 11.5×4.75 inches with a beautiful web that matches the front.
All of the fixtures and fittings are steel, from the studs to the buckles, so there’s little chance of them rusting. They’re all sturdy too, so they won’t pop off or let things fall apart when you least expect it.
The front piece is obviously where all the magic happens. The Black Widow comes ready fitted with a 2 inch o-ring, but that can easily be swapped out to accommodate your chosen dildo by unclipping the three studs that hold it down and replacing it with one of your own. I have the Tantus Silicone O-Ring set, and I love that they match! I was hoping there would be a bullet pouch hidden in the reverse of the front piece, but there wasn’t. All I found there was a Tantus stamp.
So, solid sturdy construction aside, how – and who – does it fit?
The Tantus website states that the straps adjust to accommodate between 30 and 50 inch hips (76 – 127cm). It just fits me, and I’m currently a size 22 with around 48 inch hips, so their sizing is pretty accurate on the larger end of the scale. The Fella’s hips are 38 inches, and he gets in with plenty of room to spare, so again, pretty accurate.
Getting into the Black Widow Harness is très simple. Each of the thigh straps are 28 inches in length, so you’ve got plenty of room to get comfy there. If you’re going to be the only one wearing it it’s gonna be easier for you, as you can just widen the straps to gain easy access, then tighten them to suit you.
After that, you can step in and out with only a little bit loosening. We share, though, so we have to fully readjust every time we switch, which is a pain in the arse, but neither of us want to go back to our old elasticated harness, so we kinda fight over ownership.
Once you’re in and your dildo is attached, you’re ready to plough on. More often than not, I’m told to get myself ready for the Fella (this is what makes it easier for me to actually peg him: he tops from the bottom, so I don’t actually assume any control) and I’ve found that it’s better to have the dildo situated in the o-ring before getting into the harness.
Yeah, the weight of a dildo does pull the front panel forward a little bit, but I usually get the back support positioned and then lie on the bed to keep the weight pressing the harness into me while I tighten up. If the Fella is dressing me it’s much easier to let him attach the dildo himself, though he usually swaps out my choice for something smaller *pouts*.
I absolutely love being strapped into the Black Widow Harness. It’s super comfy, looks fabulous even on my lumpy assed body, and though it may sound corny, I do feel a certain sense of power when I wear it. I do still lose my stride sometimes, I mean, it’s a harness not a magic fucking cape, but I find myself in a place where I’m actually feeling what I’m doing.
Seeing the Fella bend over for me and hearing him whispering, show me what you got then, Spiderella… holy shit, but that seriously turns me on, especially because I know that, before too long, he’ll lose patience with being the passive participant in our session and flip me over so he can fuck me. Did I mention that both the vaginal and anal areas are 100% accessible when wearing Black Widow? No? Well they are, and he makes no bones about taking full advantage.
As you might have guessed, we both love the Black Widow Harness, and as far as I know the Fella wants the EZ Connoisseur Harness for himself. If you’re interested in trying one with your partner, you can check out the full Tantus Harness range here, or go straight to the Black Widow here.
The Tantus Black Widow Connoisseur Harness was sent to me by Tantus in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.