Primal Hardwere G’lorp Ovipositor Review

A couple of years ago, I stumbled across an online video of a pretty gal using a floppy, hollow dildo to shove a clutch of jelly eggs up in her own vagina. Once she’d crammed half a dozen of them in there, she squatted and laid ‘em on her bathroom floor. I’m not gonna lie, the sight of those little wibbly balls splodging on the lino made me nauseous. But times they do a-change. Fast forward to now and here I am, rolling up my sleeves and settling in to tell y’all how much I fucking adore my Primal Hardwere G’lorp Ovipositor.

Primal Hardwere G'lorp Ovipositor Review, image showing a red textured silicone dildo with a black multi-tentacled base on a dark green background

Primal Hardwere is silicone sex toy maker in the US and they produce some pretty awesome stuff. Their niche isn’t dragons or merfolk, though, and it isn’t orcs or demons either. Nope, they cater to those who find their fetishes in the world of animals (yes, I do mean the canids and the equine) and in science fiction. Their G’lorp Ovipositor falls in the latter category.

So, first off, what is an ovipositor? Well, in nature it’s a tube through which some creepy crawlies and little fishies lay their eggs. A quick read up (cheers, Wikipedia!) informs me that some insects use their ovipositor to simply attach their eggs to a surface, but others use it to pierce or burrow in order to deposit their load inside of something… Continue reading “Primal Hardwere G’lorp Ovipositor Review”

Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit Guest Review

A little while back, the lovely Posy Churchgate reviewed a Satisfyer sex toy here on Scandarella. It was great to read her thoughts and find out how she got on with it. Well, today she’s back to share her opinions and experiences with the Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit. Read on to find out how she got on with this bed restraint and cute blindfold set.

Having read reviews of other products in this range, I already knew there would be a touch of luxury and class to this product. Unwrapping my parcel from Ella Scandal to review this set, I could see that the Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit lived up to my expectations.  The outer box featured glossy photographs which gave a clear indication of the items it contained. The inner box was a classy matte black rectangular box with the Fifty Shades of Grey logo engraved into the lid.

Within the box were the 4 cuffs (2 smaller for wrists, 2 larger for ankles) made up of padding encased in silky grey fabric with velcro-adjustable webbing straps and trigger hooks firmly attached to the outside with strong stitching.  Also contained in the box was an elasticated blindfold which matched the cuffs (padded and covered in the same silky grey fabric).

The other part of the restraint system was an ‘X’ shaped arrangement of long black webbing straps which radiated out from a metal ring.  Each of the 4 straps has a sliding adjuster at the end so that its length can be customised to fit the size of bed (or similar furniture where you will use it). The webbing bonds spanned a king sized bed but they can be reduced down to fit double and even single beds.   Continue reading “Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit Guest Review”

All That Remains


Image used with permission of Floss Liddell

The walk from my back door to the bottom of my garden is a short one. Thirty steps, give or take. Even so, it always takes me a good twenty minutes to shamble down the length of the stepping stone path. Partly because I dislike the heavy feeling I get in my heart when I reach the end and partly because, every few feet along the way, a different memory is called forth.

See that stone bench over there with the carved koi base? When Jenny lived here, we’d use it as a spanking bench. We’re both tall and the bench is low and close to the fence, but we’d made it work.

And the park bench, iron-footed with wooden slats, is where I used to bind Teresa with shackles. That memory always makes me smile in a way she would have called dirty. It can’t be helped, though. The sides are just far enough apart for her legs to be as wide open as any pair of legs could be. Look, underneath it. There, in the grass. That’s the riding crop I used to spank her soft folds with. I can’t bring myself to take it inside. Not now that she’s gone. Continue reading “All That Remains”

Elust #115

Elust 115 Header Image of Kaetteroo in a steamy mirror nude

Photo courtesy of Katteroo

Welcome to Elust 115

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #116? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Your Loss

Ask for It

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Two Explorers

Sweet Child of Mine

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

{Na}Scent Traces

 

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy! Continue reading “Elust #115”

Pretty in Pink

Okay, sugar, park your ass on the sofa. Yeah, right there on the throw. The pink of your skirt looks good against that baby blue, right? And damn, I love the way those white knee socks pop against the black leather down there. That blonde hair of yours is gonna pop against the black, too. Lean back a little, lemme see. Fluff your pigtails a bit. Yeah, just as I thought. Pop!

Now sit forward, right on the edge of the seat, and part your legs. Wider. A bit more. Good, good! Now keep your feet where they are – fuck, those Mary Jane’s are hot – and pull your knees together. Nice!

Elbows on your knees. Shoulders back, hands on your chin. Ohh, cute. Now that’s cute. Isn’t she cute, Tommy? She’s got some striking eyes on her, amarite? Damn, I could look into those peepers all day long. You make my heart throb, do you know that? Come on, flutter your lashes for me. Lick your lips. Gimme your best pout. Fuck, you’re making something else throb now, too. Continue reading “Pretty in Pink”

Lovehoney Desire Love Egg Review

As I’ve probably said in the past, Desire is Lovehoney’s luxury brand. It’s very LELO-esque, which stands to reason given that someone from LELO had a hand in their design. There’s a bit of everything available, from clit vibes to cock rings to wands, all of them rechargeable. The most recent piece I got my paws on is the Lovehoney Desire Love Egg with Remote Control.

Lovehoney Desire Love Egg Review, image showing the black and purple packaging of the Desire range, with white text and an image of the purple toy on the front panel

I will admit that in picking this piece for review, I was taking an intentional gamble. See, if there’s one other type of sex toy that I sometimes struggle to enjoy it’s the love egg. I’ve had successes, sure, but the majority I’ve tried have been rubbish. Reason being, I just can’t feel them inside of me, and if I can the sensation is so weak as to be pointless. I had high hopes for the Lovehoney Desire Love Egg, though. But was I just letting myself be blinded because it’s from a brand I like? Continue reading “Lovehoney Desire Love Egg Review”

Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug Review

So far, it seems to be the year of favourite brands here at Scandarella. I’ve written about a bunch of dildos by brands I love and the odd vibe, and now it’s time for some butt stuff. Love Pipedream or hate ‘em, it’s hard to deny that their Icicles line is chock full of gorgeous things. In time for Valentine’s Day, my lovely sponsor, Forbidden Pleasures sent me a piece that I’ve coveted for some time. The appropriately romantic Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug.

Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug Review, image showing the plug's packaging, white with Icicles in black text and a picture of the toy on the front panel

Now, the first thing I need to tell y’all about the Icicles No 76 is that it’s tiny. Not the overall plug, but the insertable part. At 2” long with a circumference of 3.75”, it’s pretty much the same size as my big toe. See, I told ya, it’s really very small. If you’ve read any of my reviews before, you know that it’s far too little to do much of anything for my butt. And if you’re used to stuffing yours with anything bigger than a thumb, it probably won’t do much for you, either. Continue reading “Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug Review”

#StoryIn12 – Drunk as(s) Fuck

It’s May’s birthday. Her gal-pals arranged a humdinger of a night in the local strip joint for her. Though May and I are a relatively new thing, they still asked me if I was okay with it. I said yes, of course. Dictating what my partners can and can’t do has never been my style. If I’m honest, I kinda wish I’d been invited along, but it was an all-woman affair so me and my dick stayed home. Continue reading “#StoryIn12 – Drunk as(s) Fuck”

Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit Review

When I checked out my review pile to see what I had going on, I spied something that made my wee heart sink. It was like, DA-DA-DAAAAA! A bloody rabbit. Honestly, after my last one, I decided that I’m so not here for rabbit vibes. Fighting to ensure that all my hotspots get the attention they deserve got a bit irritating. Why do it to myself when there’s a shit ton of sex toys out there that wanna rock my world. But, there the Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit was, sat all rabbity and waiting for me to notice it, so out it came.

Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit Review, image showing a purple and white rabbit vibrator through the plastic window in its purple and white packaging

The reason it sat there, being ignored, for several ages of men is all down to its size. Every time it caught my eye I thought, what a teeny, tiny, little bunny. The thing is, it’s actually a standard length both overall (7”) and insertable (4”). The reason I perceived it as being over small is its skinniness. At its widest point, the shaft is just 3.75”, at its thinnest, it’s 3”. That makes the external arm, which is 3,25”, thicker than the majority of the shaft. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit Review”

LELO Alia External Massager Review

If you ask anyone who is into sex toys to name a luxury brand, there’s a good chance they’ll say LELO. While they may have fallen out of favour in recent years, their products remain global best sellers. Personally, I’m a fan. I’ve enjoyed most of the products of theirs that have come my way, and I really hoped that my latest one, sent to me by my awesome sponsor Crimson Princess, would be another hit. Check out my thoughts on the LELO Insignia Alia to see how that went.

LELO Alia External Massager Review, image showing the Alia's black packaging with a picture of the purple toy on the front

One thing I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call fault with when it comes to LELO is their presentation. Their packaging is sleek, attractive, and useable. They provide everything you need to get started: lube sachet, a plugged pin charger that’s universal to all of their toys, and a storage bag. Oh, and a little code bearing card that lets you register your product and activate the 12-month warranty, 10-year quality guarantee. Continue reading “LELO Alia External Massager Review”