Like the big kid he is, Dominic tosses a short plank onto the bonfire. The girls clustered nearby give him the stank-eye as they dance away from flying sparks. He laughs maniacally, racing to the water’s edge and back again with a sopping wet bunch of seaweed in his hand, laughing louder when the girls’ irritated sighs turn to screams of disgust.
The thought that I should probably tell my best friend to wind it in a bit crosses my mind, but I don’t. I don’t even give him more than a distracted tongue click when he lobs the soggy seaweed in my direction. I’m far too busy watching Stefan watching Lisa to care much about Dom’s attention whoring.
Even though it’s after midnight on a warm, summer’s night, Stefan is rocking his signature look. Dark shades. Ripped jeans. Faded leather jacket over a white t-shirt, torn at the neck to reveal a dark smudge, the merest suggestion of a tattoo. In his hand is an ace of hearts. He flips it in between his fingers. Chews on a red-tipped matchstick as he peers over the rim of his glasses.
I get that Lisa is certainly something to look at if you’re into that sort of thing. Most of the guys like her plump ass, but it’s glaringly obvious that Stefan is all about her rock-hard tits. The other girls had pulled on summer dresses and sarongs hours ago, but Lisa is still holding forth by the fire in a barely-there bikini.
As soon as discomfort gets the better of me I toss my paper cup into the fire. I ignore Dom’s obnoxious yells and head for the rocks. All I need is a few moments to level my thoughts and then I’ll go back, grab another drink and enjoy myself. The problem is, I can’t be sure just how successful the thought fixing is going to be.
I’m leaning against a rock in the darkness, listening to the slow roll of waves when I realise I’m not alone with my thoughts. A match sparks, lighting up Stefan’s face. He lets it burn down to his fingers before cursing it out, and in that ten seconds, I’m sharply reminded just how much I love this goddam fucking poser.
“Wanna tell me why you’re mooching around over here all by yourself?”
I open my mouth to tell him I just needed five minutes but what comes out is, “I didn’t think you’d notice.”
Another spark, the light of another match illuminating Stefan’s face. There’s a ‘V’ between his eyebrows and his green irises are fully visible over the top of his lowered shades. He curses, and darkness falls again.
“I was just looking, Ali,” he says quietly. “My heart is yours, but my eyes still belong to me.”
Pathetic. That’s how I feel. Pathetic, petty, and jealous. I should tell him that I’m feeling insecure. Stefan is aware that in being with a guy like him I’m breaking new ground. All my life people have told me that what I am is wrong and that what Stefan is is worse. But I’m learning that they’re the ones who are wrong. Letting go of deep-rooted, bullshit beliefs and embracing and accepting what should be obvious to not just me but everyone else on the planet. But ingrained opinions don’t change overnight, and the going has been slow.
The silence between us stretches on too long because I let it. Stefan isn’t uncomfortable with long silences…unless he’s with me. He knows that if I’m quiet, I’m fretting, and he always feels the need to reassure me by filling the silence with words. Or, in this case, song.
“Walking on the seaside
With a sunset over blue
Hand in hand with you.
Listen to the waves break
On a blanket spread for two
Hand in hand with you.”
I smile in the darkness. Not one of those smiles people do when they’re embarrassed, or the ones they do when they’re thinking someone’s being a fool. It’s a genuine, ear to ear, eye-crinkling smile. A dopey grin, my mother calls it. The grin of a person arse over tit in love.
Stefan’s knuckles brush the back of my right hand. Our fingers entwine, and we step forward at the same time. Knees touching. Chest against chest, lips against lips, nose brushing nose. Slow, soft, and…and hesitant? Damn! He’s nervous now, too. My heart aches because I know I’ve caused his unease.
Wiggling my fingers free of his, I bring my hands to his face. Stubble prickles my fingers as I pull myself higher, press myself against him, so I can deepen the kiss from lips on lips to tongue thrashing against tongue.
If Stefan’s arm wasn’t around my back to support me I’d have been winded when I hit the sand. He pins my arms above my head, holding them there with one hand so he can use the other to help me push my shorts to my ankles. I can’t see, but I hear his precious leather jacket slapping over a rock. I gasp when his t-shirt – smelling of bonfire smoke, sweat, and deodorant – is rammed between my teeth and tucked under my head.
Water brushes against my heel. The swift popping of buttons being yanked out of denim holes can be heard over the sound of the waves. Sexy, but nothing compared to the almost pained sound Stefan makes, right by my ear, when his cock rubs along the length of mine.
Our foreheads are pressed together. The smell coming from Stefan’s armpits makes me buck my hips. Staring into the dark, I try hard to find his eyes, moaning when my shifting foreskin starts snagging the hairs on my belly.
“Tell me nothing’s changed,” Stefan pants. “You said there was no reason that a bisexual partner should be a problem for you, so I need you to tell me it hasn’t just become one.”
I gasp, pulling my hands-free, running them over his cheeks, his hard biceps, down to his hips to pull him closer. I can’t speak, so I just mumble u-uh, u-uh, over and over, shaking my head in a bid to show him that it isn’t a problem. There’s no need for it to be.
A bead of water hits my jaw. Stefan’s sweat. The t-shirt is yanked from my face. We kiss. Our cocks mash against each other. I imagine myself on my back taking his dick, have visions of him on his knees sucking mine. It’s when I imagine his hands on Lisa’s tits that the feeling hits me and I start to jerk, grunting as warm come spurts up my chest.
Stefan groans my name and I feel the underside of his cock pulsing against my belly, and then my belly button is filled with his spunk. We’ll feed that to each other in sloppy kisses in a moment, but for now, I’m going to lie back and stare at the scattered stars in the sky, listening to Stefan singing in a breathless, orgasm-thickened voice.
“If I had a million sand dollars
I’d spend them all on you
And build a sandcastle
Just big enough for two.
So look me in the eyes, dear
And know my love is true
Hand in hand with you.”
Song lyrics – ‘Seaside’ from the album “It’s Never Enough” by Ace Troubleshooter