It’s almost midday and the beginnings of a headache are starting to scratch at the backs of my eyes. I know what’s causing it. It’s a combination of not enough salt and too much stress. The cat has barfed on the sofa, an unexpected (massive) bill has dropped on the doormat. A family member has taken ill, I forgot to order the Fella’s meds, my doctor’s appointment has been cancelled. I’ve given myself far too much to do and now I have to leave it all because I’ve run out of loo paper, and boy do I need to go.
Once upon a time, I would deal with these stresses by ramming a week’s worth of calories down my throat. And it shows. That’s something that adds to my stress, because I’m not comfortable in my body and my body hasn’t known the meaning of comfort for some time. Every time I walk past a mirror I see my lack of willpower and that drives me straight to the cookie jar on my lower days. Days like today.
But that’s not me any more. Yeah, I still reach for a snack every now and again, but these days it’s a handful of nuts or few cubes of cheese. Anything that fits with my so-far-so-successful diet. More often than not, though, I head upstairs and reach for a sex toy. I’ve learnt that orgasm is really good at reducing, if not quite banishing any stress that’s brought on by the daily grind grinding harder than it usually would.
So that’s what I do today.
Being a sex blogger who reviews products, my bedroom is a veritable adult playground. I can put my hand in any drawer, cupboard, or box and whip out some variety of sex toy. But probably eight times out of ten my hand goes in the same drawer – bedside chest, second drawer down – because that’s where my Njoy Pure Wand lives. And on top of selfsame chest is a little grey box in which resides my We-Vibe Tango.
These two toys are a match made in heaven.
Before I pull my knickers to my ankles (I don’t bother taking them off) I lay my Liberator Mini Throe on the bed. Then I settle back against my pillows and insert in the Pure Wand. I go in while I’m still mostly dry, but even though I use the larger end I don’t feel any discomfort. The metal is smooth and cool and it only takes a couple of minutes to get the natural lubrication going.
Eyes closed, I try to clear my head. Don’t want to think of anything, don’t want to know anything or feel anything that isn’t connected to my cunt. I know I’m getting wet already. Can feel my clit starting to take notice, my inner labia starting to brush my fingers as it swells.
I’m not really aroused. Not mentally engaged in what this is. My cunt is doing all the stuff it usually does but my mind is still trying to go about its day despite me. I need to wind it in, need something to focus on. Phone now in hand, I pop in my earbuds and open up an audio file. Press the little play button in the middle of the screen and close my eyes again. A few seconds passes and then I hear him.
At first he’s just breathing. Roughly, unevenly, but still just breathing. I can hear a rhythmic, wet sound layered just beneath his gasps. Slow, leisurely, a little quicker, quicker still, slow and steady once more. Hand fisted around the chilly metal dildo, I start to thrust, keeping time with the squelching in the background.
His little grunts and gasps turn into whispered words. Oh God. Mmmmm. Fuck, yes. Each one pulls me deeper in, until the light coming in from the windows no longer seems to filter through my eyelids. I’m in complete darkness with nothing but the sound of man-moans in my ears and the feeling of something hard and warmed stroking back and forth over my g-spot.
Five or so minutes in and my hips are writhing, my jaw is swinging on its hinges as my mind does its very best to unpack the visual memories that go with these sounds. I get flashes of prominent knuckles, a twisting wrist, the flames tattooed there coming to life with all of the movement. The head of a cock appearing and dissappearing at the pucker of a clenched fist.
I don’t even realise I’ve turned on the vibrator until it touches my clit. For a split second I’m pulled back to reality, but a deep groan sucks me straight back in. Warm fluid splashes my thighs. My knees tremble, my wrist starts to ache and I can feel a little bit of discomfort underlying the building pressure inside me.
I’m panting in time with him, snapping my hips, pressing my lips together to lock in all the noises my throat wants to expel. And then my cunt is pulsing, forcing out the dildo and little waterfalls of fluid along with it. In my haste to turn off the bullet I accidentally touch my clit again and I can’t stop the yelp from escaping.
Eyes still closed, husband’s orgasmic grunts turning into a little laugh in my ears, I feel almost stress free. All of the shit will still be there for me after I’ve cleaned up my toys and my messy self, but it doesn’t seem so daunting. I’ll get through my to do and my to rearrange list a lot easier now because my mind is at peace.
That’s the power an orgasm can have, even the quick maintainance ones. And that’s why I’m taking part in Tabitha Rayne’s #30DayOrgasmChallenge again this year. To show you, lovely readers, as well as remind myself that while orgasms can be fun, intimate, or any other number of sexy, erotic things, they can also very good for our wellbeing. For me, they’re important for stress reduction and relaxation, they help put me in the right headspace to get through my day without going apeshit with my people or on myself.
If you’re a blogger or if you have social media that allows it, why not take part, too? Work out what orgasms can do for you outside of what you’d usually expect. If you’re following along on social media the hashtags you want to follow are:
#WanksNotPranks (for april 1st)
And if you’re blogging (I’ll be doing it on Sundays right through the month with daily tweet updates in between) click on the banner below.