Eeek, it’s December! And just where the fuck is all my Christmas at? I really expected to be tiptoeing my way through snowy blog posts and being dazzled by fairy lights, but so far I haven’t seen much of that. Still, we’re only three days in so there’s plenty of time for folks to get their jingle on. My house is full of glittery warmth, I’ve started working on some thoroughly dirty festive tales, and my Christmas Giveaway is go.
I’ve not been around on social media much this week cos I’ve been busy preparing to make merry, and also cos Windows decided it was high time for an update. My laptop was out of commission for a day and a half, probably because it’s over a year old and has only been updated once. I don’t do updates unless I’m forced to. But I’m back in control as of today so I’ve had a good look through some ace blog posts, and my pick of the this week’s crop is laid out before you. Tuck in!
THE SHADOWBANNED
While this may sound like a dodgy 90s emo band, it ain’t a group any sex blogger wants to find themselves in. If you get shadowbanned on Twitter, you become invisible. They make you almost unfindable. You’re hidden from hashtag searches. If someone searches your handle they only see you if you’re mentioned by others. Only the people who already follow you can see all of your content and sometimes you don’t even get that lucky. I’ve read about shadowbanning happening to non-sex based accounts (those who wrongly get flagged as spam accounts) but there’s been a rash of it lately, some of the community even having their ban lifted and reinstated within the same month. It’s a shit move on Twitter’s part, cos not only is it shady (they don’t tell you they’ve done it to you) and unfairly done (try looking for hardcore porn sharing accounts and you’ll see what I mean), but it also poses a real threat to not just individuals but the sex blogging community as a whole.
I check to see if I’m shadowbanned once a week (using this site here) and when I do so, I tap in a handful of bloggers I follow, just to try to keep ahead of the stupidity. This week the very lovely trio of Cara Thereon, May Moore, Marie Rebelle are all among the shadowbanned. So here are their handles: @thereon_cara @more_matters @RebelsNotes. Give their sites a visit and, if you like what you see, do give them a follow on Twitter (if the way you run your account allows you to do so) and share their work.
REVIEWS
Blue Tea Time Porcelain Dildo by Miss Ruby Reviews
Ruby writes great reviews, and I was pretty excited to spot that she’d reviewed this dildo. I love My Fucsia’s designs, so am really excited to be seeing more reviews of them popping up.
Love Layla’s Christmas Cards by Emmeline Peaches
Ah, I’ve been eyeing these cards for a couple of days now, so was delighted to see Emmeline had reviewed them. I’m totally getting some, and I’ll have at the wrapping paper while I’m at it. There has to be at least one friend I can insult in good faith, right?
BLOG POSTS
I’m Not Sexy Enough to be a Sex Blogger by Miss Jezebella
Some people may suggest that I’ve “let myself go”. Sure, if that’s what you want to call being confident enough to initiate sex while I’m in my old sweat pants, with messed up hair and a pretty decent mustache. I’m not sure exactly what I was holding myself together for in the first place. My insecurity had me hating my body, trying to force it to be thinner and hairless, dressing it up in tight clothing and shoes that left me in pain.
While some of the things in Miss Jezebella’s post didn’t resonate with my experiences, many of them did. We have the same medical condition and it seems to present itself in the same way for us both (which totally blows for the pair of us). She’s definitely in a healthier place in her mind when it comes to her perception of personal sexiness (as you can see in the above quote), but I am sorry to read in this post that she needs to take a step back once she’s caught up with her workload. It’s good for her, though, and I really don’t think she’ll away for too long.
IMAGES
*content warning – here be stuff that is #NSFW*
I absolutely love this image. It gives me the creeps a bit because I don’t like blood (I wilt like a thirsty flower at the sight of the stuff if it’s flowing) but at the same time, I find the idea of a partner bringing it to the surface and spilling just a little more than a bit hot. Angels are very much on my mind at the moment so I love the theme and I can totally see why the title of the post was chosen. Excellent stuff.
Ever since the first time I did an #SoSS post, I’ve been faced with a dilemma. No, it’s not whether I should include Candy in the link list again, it’s looking like her being featured in one section or another every week is a given. No, my dilemma is basically, boobs or words. I love that woman’s work, I really do. And this week her epic words were just pipped by that pin-up style of hers and those epic boobs. She has an amazing body, fabulous hair and a pout that I’d bet she’s insured. The pose in this image feels more ‘in her natural habitat’ than something staged and I think it’s fab.
This image was impossible not to share. It’s festive and sexy for sure, but what I love most about it is the serenity in Molly’s profile. There’s something very innocent about her expression and when combined with the red lights and nudity it makes me feel as though I’m looking at a woman who is changed. When I look at it I imagine I’m seeing how the Virgin Mary would look after being ruined by devilish sex and other exciting things. I think it’s awesome.
SMUT
Why Should We Call Ourselves Sinners? – If Sex Matters
It was then you asked if I had ever had sex. I told you I had but was relatively inexperienced. I think because of that you felt I was mature, capable of reasoning and understanding. You said you loved your vocation but every day it was becoming harder to deny your sexual needs. You were a man who loved to touch, to feel, to take in smells and tastes. You’d had one sexual encounter before being ordained and it played on your mind continually. Keeping you awake at night, leading you to sweat and turn and yes, literally toss.
Ooh, bad priest! No wait…good priest! I know this story is a couple of weeks old now, and I really don’t know how I missed it. I adore smutty stories and dark imagery that contain any level of sacrilege, but strangely this one remained light and almost innocent yet still had the heat and the uncomfortable edge that comes from reading about anyone fucking in God’s house.
In Santa’s Lap by Cara Sutra
The eager anticipation was shared. No sooner had Santa freed his straining dick that he was reaching for her, his whiskered lips growling praise, kinky threats and promises into her ear while his fingers worked beneath her skirt. Lifting her up, opening her up entirely, positioning himself under her. Trousers yanked down to free merely the important part of him, the rest still concealed by his lush uniform.
Okay, not many people could make fucking a fully suited and booted St Nick sound hot, but Cara did it with ease. I confess that, as I started reading, I told myself I would picture someone much younger than the generic Christmas card Santa when I reached the sex part, but to my surprise, I didn’t. I totally saw the white beard bobbing and the red cheeks get redder as Mr Claus realised his luck and reached down over his bowl full of jelly to release his cock. Bad Santa indeed!
CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAYS
Miss Jezebella’s Christmas Giveaway 2017!
Ooh, there’s a load of lovely things in store for the lucky winner of this giveaway! A Rocks Off Joycicle vibe, a silicone dildo & silicone kegel balls, a month’s membership to an ethical queer porn site, a rabbit vibe AND a We-Vibe Sensations Unite gift set. Blimy, you’d think it was Christmas!
Luv Bunny’s One Year Blogiversary
Help Luv Bunny celebrate her blog turning a year old and win a very pretty glass dildo from Lovehoney’s brand spanking new Fifty Shades Freed line! Happy blogiversary, Down the Bunny Rabbit Hole!
I ALMOST FORGOT!!
What a cotton headed ninny muggins I am! I almost forgot to link y’all to THE BIGGEST #SoSS post of the year – the 2017 Top 100 Sex Blogger’s list as compiled by the ever awesome Molly’s Daily Kiss and her other half, Dom Signs. You’ll find so many good bloggers on that list you’ll be dizzy for days! Make sure you have plenty time to go investigatin’ and give the button below a click.
Enjoy, and remember, if you like it, share our shit.
