Fleshlight Go Torque Ice Masturbator

Before settling down to write this review I had to repeat a short mantra in my head. Don’t make this all about me, don’t make this all about me. I mean, Fleshlights are, first and foremost, penis masturbators and I don’t have one of those. The thing is, this particular toy – the Fleshlight Go Torque Ice – is such a treat for the eyes I can’t help but want to wax lyrical about how much I bloody fucking love it.

The Torque isn’t the first Fleshlight the Fella has tried. We’re both fans of the Freaks series with their monstrous designs. But it is his first toy from the Go line and to be quite honest with you I don’t know why it took us so long to give one a shot. Continue reading “Fleshlight Go Torque Ice Masturbator”

Pipedream PDX Elite Vibrating Roto-Sucker

Every now and again, a sex toy will catch my eye and I’ll think, that looks awesome! Then I’ll have a read up on what it’s all about and I’ll think, yep, just as I thought; sounds awesome. So I’ll arrange to review it, get my paws on it, and probably eight times out of ten I’ll be like, I was right, this thing is awesome! But those other two times out of ten? Not so awesome. From the moment I opened the box for this Pipedream Extreme PDX Vibrating Roto-Sucker I was an unhappy Ella.

Okay, okay. I know there’ll be a few eyebrows raised as if to say, well what did you expect from Pipedream? I know they’re not the best, or even nearly the best company in the world, but I keep thinking, Icicles. Ceramix. Pure Aluminium. Those are all Pipedream brands and I love each and every one of them. I’d really hoped that I’d found another line of theirs that I, or rather that the Fella, could love. Continue reading “Pipedream PDX Elite Vibrating Roto-Sucker”

Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse Remote

Do you have a penis? Do you enjoy using sex toys on that penis? If yes, odds are you’ll have heard of Hot Octopuss. The brand that brought the original Guybrator to the world, and the love it or hate it rechargeable ‘wand’, the Queen Bee. Not satisfied with a handful of best selling products in their range, Hot Octopuss have been adding more penis treats to their catalogue. A cool looking cock ring and this, the Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse Remote.

The Guybrator, or PULSE III DUO, is a big hit in Scandarella house. Not many toys make it into the Fella’s drawers unless I stash them there, but his PULSE is top drawer material in his opinion. It’s always in there and it’s always charged and ready for action. Still, I think I was a wee bit more excited than he was when the Pocket Pulse arrived for review. Continue reading “Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse Remote”

Hand Pilot Recreational Pilot Subscription Box

It feels like years since I last reviewed a sex toy subscription. The last one was the Unbound Box and that was all the way back in May. I guess the Erotic Advent Calendar I ploughed through in December was kinda similar but that was mostly a lucky dip of products. When I think ‘subscription box’ I imagine a curated selection of quality products that you can have delivered to your door on a regular basis. One such selection is the Hand Pilot Recreational Pilot Box.

Firstly, I love the name of this shop. I love the design of their site. But most of all, I love Hand Pilot’s genuinely unique, unique selling point; their subscription is almost entirely targeted at our bepenised brethren. Vulvacentric subscriptions and ‘couples’ boxes are relatively easy to find but you’d be hard pushed to find another company that offers boxes of treats picked out to pamper the old penis.

Even then, those ‘couples’ boxes are often aimed at heterosexual couples and are mostly geared toward pleasing the pussy with a cock ring chucked in as an afterthought. The idea seems to be that getting to fuck at some stage in proceedings is treat enough for the todger. Continue reading “Hand Pilot Recreational Pilot Subscription Box”

Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Masturbator

Something I love about being a sex blogger is the influence it’s had on the Fella. He was always disinterested in cockcentric sex toys, preferring to pick things up that he could use with or on me. He had a box of bits, sure, but nothing exciting. But, after Scandarella became a thing and we were offered penis toys for review, he started to take an interest, and when I told him that the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Masturbator had arrived as a surprise in another package, he was delighted.

This is his forth Fleshlight masturbator so far. We reviewed the Freaks Alien last year (which he loved) and I bought a vampy Succudry for him (okay, that’s a lie it was for my eyes more than his cock), and picked up a Fleshlight Go as part of a massive prize I won recently. Continue reading “Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Masturbator”

Doggy Darling Pussy & Ass Masturbator

Before Scandarella became a thing, the Fella was never really into sex toys that are made for the old John Thomas. His toy box was made up of things to tie me up, hit or tickle me with, and a load of bullet vibes. All there was in it for his cock was a sex shop own-brand stroker or two, and a few Tenga Eggs. But, as I said, Scandarella happened, and his interests in penis pleasing toys grew. But that’s not why I’m bringing you this review of the You2Toys Doggy Darling from Orion. Read on to find out the real reason I opted to try out this wobbly, big assed…ass.

For many people, fantasies play a large part in their sexual relationship with not just their partners, but also themselves. Whether it be a sexy scenario that gets shared and played out, or something that remains tucked away in the privacy of our minds, most of us do have them. Continue reading “Doggy Darling Pussy & Ass Masturbator”

Tenga 3D Polygon Masturbator

Hot on the heels of my review of an egg box full of disposable Tenga masturbators comes another product from the same company. This time, my lovely sponsor, Forbidden Pleasures, has given me, or rather the Fella, the chance to try out a longer lasting masturbator, in the shape of the Tenga 3D Polygon.

The 3D line was something that grabbed my attention a while back. There’s something so eye catching about their design, and about how different Tenga’s approach is to the penis masturbator. When we look at strokers, we’re usually faced with something rampantly sexual, often sleazy, and finished with either a mouth, pussy or ass to sink your dick into. That’s all fine, if that’s your thing, but palm sized body parts won’t be everyone’s idea of a spanking good time. Continue reading “Tenga 3D Polygon Masturbator”

Tenga Egg Six Pack

This review has been four months in the making, folks. Four months of trying to get the Fella to drop his drawers so that I could get to work on his cock with one of the cute little masturbators from this Tenga Egg 6 Pack.

Don’t get me wrong, the boxers came down easily enough. But before I could say which texture do you want, he’d whipped the Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo out and declared it the toy of the day. He’s a spoiled brat when it comes to that thing, and I’m a sucker, so I reviewed the other things MEO had sent me instead. Well, it’s high time I got to telling y’all about these fab little eggs, so here goes… Continue reading “Tenga Egg Six Pack”

Hot Octopuss Pulse III DUO

Even though I’ve only been reviewing sex toys for two and a half years, it seems to me that getting to try something completely new is a pretty rare occurrence. Dildos may be different shapes and sizes, and vibes might come in a host of different strengths and qualities, but they’re essentially just dildos and vibes.

Even strokers and masturbators are pretty much all the same in the sense that they’re something to stick your cock in while you or someone else strokes it.


Continue reading “Hot Octopuss Pulse III DUO”

Fleshlight Freaks Alien Masturbator

I’ve wanted to watch the Fella use a Fleshlight forever. But whenever I mentioned getting one he would always put me off, telling me I was the only sex toy he needed. I was gutted, but then recently he changed his mind and agreed to use one purely so I could review it. The sacrifices that man makes for me *eye roll*.


Anyway, the fab folk at Latex, Leather and Lace – an amazing store that is heavy on the hot lingerie, hotter bondage gear and scorching sex toys – gave me the go ahead to choose a Fleshlight. It’s me we’re talking about here, so it was never gonna be a porn star. Our first had to be something from the Freaks range, and as Latex, Leather and Lace carry the gloriously blue Fleshlight Freaks Alien, that’s what I picked.

Continue reading “Fleshlight Freaks Alien Masturbator”