Even though I’ve refused to tell my friends and family my blog’s actual name, I’m happy to yap on about what goes down here whenever I get the chance. We talk about my stories and, more often than not, sex toys. Recently, a friend shocked the shit out of me when she announced that, despite my warnings (and occasional death threats) she still buys toxic/porous toys. Why? Cos she thinks that silicone ones are too expensive. I nearly tripped over my own tongue in my haste to prove her wrong. It was easily done, cos just so happened to have the Temptasia Elvira sat in my review pile.
The Elvira is a silicone dildo that’s made by one of my favourite ‘we do a bit of everything’ brands, Blush Novelties. And do you know how much it costs? A mere $27.60 if you’re shopping at SheVibe (or £23.99 in the UK). My mate paid $35.99 (£29.99) for her rubbery monstrosity. That’s a significant difference in price, right? But when I compared the two products, I pointed out that the only real difference between them in terms of design is realism. Continue reading “Temptasia Elvira by Blush Novelties Review”
Here’s a very well-known fact for you: I love reviewing sex toys. And here’s another one: I love Halloween. But what happens when you put those two loves together? The Uberrime Calaveras Dildo, that’s what. Yep, it’s time for me to write my annual Halloween product review, and I’m one very happy Spookarella.
I know it wasn’t, but the Uberrime Calaveras appeals to me on so many levels it almost feels like it was designed specially for me. The part of me that lives for the spooky and the macabre gets so excited by it I could scream with joy every time I look at it. I mean, glow in the dark skulls for testicles? I’m so fucking here for that! A planchette shaped base? Sign me up! Continue reading “Uberrime Calaveras Halloween Dildo Review”
Based in the sunny climes of Florida, Uberrime is a handmade sex toy company that produces some of the most gorgeous dildos I’ve ever had the pleasure to get my paws on. Their wares are all silicone, all body-safe, and come in all shapes and sizes. As soon as I laid my eyes on the myriad of designs and colours available, my want monster got the boner of its life. Not long after, Uberrime’s charming and very friendly owner, Marco, granted me the opportunity to choose any product I wanted for review. Well, those of you who know me won’t be at all surprised to hear that I picked a tentacle. And now it’s time for me to wax lyrical about the gloriousness that is the Uberrime Xenusoid.
Well, it will be after I give you a bit more info about who Uberrime is. As I said, the company is run by Marco. What I didn’t say is that it’s run exclusively by Marco. Yep, from the very first spark of an idea to the designing, sculpting, pouring, unmoulding, boxing up and shipping of every Uberrime piece, there’s just Marco. For the time being. Now that prominent stores in the US are beginning to stock Uberrime products and pretty much everyone who comes across them wants one, I predict that he’s gonna have to start staffing the joint up. Continue reading “Uberrime Xenusoid Tentacle Dildo Review”
At the start of your pegging adventures, you’ll likely be on the lookout for small to medium sized dildos. If you’re in the early stages of anal play you might want those dildos to be soft and textureless. And to reach the P-Spot (or G-Spot if you’re doing strap-on play with a vulva owner) you’re probably looking at dildos with curved shafts and ‘hooked’ or bulbous tips. If that sounds like a quest you’re currently on, the Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo could be the one for you.
I absolutely adore the appearance of this dildo. I mean, how could I not? It’s bright, bold, and super cheerful. Each colour is separated from the next in clean, crisp blocks, and the orange stripe is practically neon. I’ve intentionally put the Avant P1 at the front of my dildo shelf (with another couple of rainbow dildos) so that whenever I open the cupboard door I get a burst of colour right in the face. Because, really, is there anything in the world more uplifting than the sight of a rainbow? Continue reading “Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo Review”
Have you ever had someone tell you that your eyes are bigger than your belly? Kinda makes you blush, right? Well, imagine how red my cheeks went when the Fella took one look at the Hankey’s Toys Seahorse Dildo and suggested that I had eyes bigger than my cunt.
Why’d I blush? Cos it was never my intention that such a massive toy would fit through my front door. I blushed when I had to explain that I was bringing it in through the back. I’ve had to take a few jokey comments about how big my arsehole must be after past reviews. I’ve been asked how I manage to hold my shit in (I mean, who the fuck asks a question like that, though?!). So, given all of that, I was momentarily sensitive about my penchant for big assed dildos. Continue reading “Hankey’s Toys Seahorse Dildo”
Is steampunk your aesthetic? Do wires, nuts and bolts get your motor running? Does the idea of filthy exploration in a far-flung space station make you long for lift-off? Or, do you just love getting your orifices around a good, chunky dong? If you say aye to any of those things, you need a Tantus Steam Hunk Super Soft Dildo in your life.
You may or may not know that Tantus reigns supreme at the top of my fave dildo makers list. In my last Tantus review (this one) I said that the day had to be coming where I tried a dildo of theirs that I didn’t like. Today is not that day. Continue reading “Tantus Steam Hunk Super Soft Dildo”
What happens when one of your favourite sex toy brands gives a nod to one of your favourite metal bands? The Fun Factory Bück Dich, that’s what. Yep, in homage to their fellow German icon, industrial metal band Rammstein, Fun Factory has brought us one of the most spectacular spankable-insertables ever.
Translated from German into English, Bück Dich means ‘bend over’ and it’s the title of one of Rammstein’s songs. Give it a listen (and read the translation if you, like me, don’t speak German) and you’ll see that it was made to be given the kinky toy treatment. Continue reading “Fun Factory Bück Dich”
As regular Scandarella readers will probably know, I love big ol’ dildos. I love to have ‘em big in every direction and I absolutely adore enormous fantasy stuff. But sometimes, when lying in bed alone in the middle of the night, I don’t want to be hefting pounds of silicone around and giving my arms a wanky workout. I want simple, light, realistic, and hard. The toy that’s been satisfying those needs for me in recent weeks is the Lovehoney Lifelike Lover 8” Silicone Dildo.
By fuck, is this thing pink. It’s so bright it has a frigging aura. I’ve said many times that pink is a boring colour for sex toys, but these days I think that this 80s-esque neon is actually kinda cool. I’ve got some bold colours on my dildo shelves but this one has to be the most eye-catching. Continue reading “Lovehoney Lifelike Lover 8″ Silicone Dildo”
When it comes to non-fantasy silicone dildos, my trifecta of favourite brands is Tantus, Fun Factory, and Vixen Creations. Each one offers something different, whether it be size, shape, or simplicity. As a rule, it’s the ultra-realistic Vixskin I look for when checking out Vixen’s wares. I love that stuff so much, it’s the most realistic feeling silicone I’ve tried to date. But Vixskin isn’t all Vixen have to offer, though. They still make toys in their ‘original formula’ silicone, and that’s what this gorgeous Vixen Creations Gee Whizzard is made of.
I’ve wanted to get my hands on one of these bad boys for ages, so was past myself with excitement when the very lovely Carolyn from Betty’s Toy Box offered to send me one for review. See, I’m one of those less than sensible people who insert their Doxy into their vagina on occasion. I don’t endorse the practice cos it ain’t good for the wand and it’s only fun until you have to take it back out again, but I won’t lie and say it doesn’t feel incredible. Continue reading “Vixen Creations Gee Whizzard”
The thing I adore most about fantasy dildos is how different one is from the next. Realistic dongs are much of a muchness, differing only when it comes to size, but fantasy ones? There’s pretty much no limit to their designs, and they’re available in almost any size that takes a person’s fancy. Just yesterday I reviewed a smallish, beautifully coloured dragon dildo. And today? Today I’m at the other end of the scale, reviewing the coal black behemoth that is the Mr Hankey’s BFG.
When I told the Fella I had a toy called the BFG on its way he rolled his eyes and said, “Big Friendly Giant?” I put my hands about two feet apart and replied, “Nope. Big Fucking Genital.” Ha, you should have seen his face. The sizes of the dildos I lust after now make him so nervous, poor lad. So much so he didn’t even want to look at the toys in my Mr Hankey’s package when it arrived. Continue reading “Mr Hankey’s BFG XL Dildo”