Temptasia Elvira by Blush Novelties Review

Even though I’ve refused to tell my friends and family my blog’s actual name, I’m happy to yap on about what goes down here whenever I get the chance. We talk about my stories and, more often than not, sex toys. Recently, a friend shocked the shit out of me when she announced that, despite my warnings (and occasional death threats) she still buys toxic/porous toys. Why? Cos she thinks that silicone ones are too expensive. I nearly tripped over my own tongue in my haste to prove her wrong. It was easily done, cos just so happened to have the Temptasia Elvira sat in my review pile.

Temptasia Elvira Review, black silicone dildoin black glossy packaging, on a black background covered with slver spiders and webs

The Elvira is a silicone dildo that’s made by one of my favourite ‘we do a bit of everything’ brands, Blush Novelties. And do you know how much it costs? A mere $27.60 if you’re shopping at SheVibe (or £23.99 in the UK). My mate paid $35.99 (£29.99) for her rubbery monstrosity. That’s a significant difference in price, right? But when I compared the two products, I pointed out that the only real difference between them in terms of design is realism. Continue reading “Temptasia Elvira by Blush Novelties Review”

Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Guest Review

Earlier on in the year, the super generous folks from Satisfyer sent me a whopping big box full of goodies. Some of them I’ve reviewed and others are up for grabs in my Halloween 2018 Giveaway. And one was popped in the post and sent to my lovely friend, the awesome Posy Churchgate, so she could give us her unbiased opinion. Read on to find out what she thought of the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples…

Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Guest Review, image of white and rose gold packaging featuring the product

I have not tried any products by Satisfyer before this one was sent to me by Scandarella to review, but I was immediately impressed by the presentation and the packaging. Continue reading “Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Guest Review”

LELO Lily 2 Scented Vibrator Review

Love em or hate em, there’s no denying the fact that LELO is one of the biggest names in luxury sex toys. Personally, I’m a lover. Sure, they have some pieces of tripe in their catalogue, but most of the products of theirs that I’ve tried have made me happy. Their Smart Wands are to die for, and they do some lovely anal toys. But one product I’ve long been curious about is the LELO Lily 2. I mean, it’s not every day a brand comes along with a chocolate scented vibrator, is it?

Lelo Lily 2 Review, Purple pebble shaped vibrator in black packaging

As with all LELO products, the Lily 2 is very smartly packaged. Along with the toy itself, you’ll find a USB pin charger, storage bag, lube sample, warranty card, and a couple of leaflets, all tucked neatly away in little compartments. It’s definitely worth registering your toy to activate your warranty, especially when it’s a high-end, high price tag one. LELO offers a 12-month fault/defect replacement warranty. The replacement is discretionary, though, they’ll want the toy so they can investigate before they pay out. Once the warranty expires the quality guarantee kicks in. This gives you 50% off a replacement should your toy croak within a 10-year period. Continue reading “LELO Lily 2 Scented Vibrator Review”

Uberrime Calaveras Halloween Dildo Review

Here’s a very well-known fact for you: I love reviewing sex toys. And here’s another one: I love Halloween. But what happens when you put those two loves together? The Uberrime Calaveras Dildo, that’s what. Yep, it’s time for me to write my annual Halloween product review, and I’m one very happy Spookarella.

Uberrime Calaveras Halloween Dildo Review, side view of a black and grey dildo with green testicles, on a black background covered with orange skulls

I know it wasn’t, but the Uberrime Calaveras appeals to me on so many levels it almost feels like it was designed specially for me. The part of me that lives for the spooky and the macabre gets so excited by it I could scream with joy every time I look at it. I mean, glow in the dark skulls for testicles? I’m so fucking here for that! A planchette shaped base? Sign me up! Continue reading “Uberrime Calaveras Halloween Dildo Review”

Screaming O Toone Dual Motor Vibe Review

Up until recently, my only experience with the Screaming O brand was a triple pack of crappy cock rings. And the only products I’d ever spotted bearing their name had all been jelly and awful. But recently, I discovered that they make quite a bit of stuff in silicone. They’re budget-friendly, body safe, and some pieces are rather nice looking. One such product is this, the Screaming O Toone Dual Motor Vibe.

Screaming O Toone Dula Motor Vibe Review, Pink double-pronged vibrator in a white and pink box

The Toone is a cute pink mini vibe with a little round body and two stubby ears. My first impression when I got my paws on it was how comfy it is in the hand. The body is basically a ball with a 6” circumference. The flattened base (where the pin charger port is located) sits flush against my palm and my fingers curl around the ball, leaving the prongs free to do their thing. It’s just the right size so I get no cramping, which can happen when holding something smaller. Nor do I lose my grip when my hands get wet cos my fingers clamp around it and hold it still. Continue reading “Screaming O Toone Dual Motor Vibe Review”

Furry Fantasy Black Panther Tail Review

For someone who doesn’t identify as a furry, or even indulge in pet play beyond the ‘see if I like it’ stage, my love for tail adorned butt plugs is intense. There’s just something so sensual about them, something so ‘other’ that I can’t get enough of. Be it pony, fox, or unicorn, I’m always super excited when I get to try a new tail. And this one, the Furry Fantasy Black Panther Tail from Sex Toys UK is an absolute corker.

Furry Fantasy Black Panther Tail Butt Plug Review, silver aluminium butt plug with a coiled black faux fur tail attached to its base, with a black storage pouch

Like all Furry Fantasy tails, the Black Panther Tail comes in a fabric storage pouch. While these bags are usually boons, I’d definitely recommend getting your toy out of there post haste. See, it’s quite a lengthy tail and the bag is rather small, so the whole piece is folded and wrapped in order to fit. This results in kinkiness and not the kind you’re probably looking for. To straighten mine out, I clipped a bunch of weighted nipple clamps onto the end of the tail and hung it up from the plug. It took a few days for the kinks to soften but it worked well enough in the end. Continue reading “Furry Fantasy Black Panther Tail Review”

Uberrime Xenusoid Tentacle Dildo Review

Based in the sunny climes of Florida, Uberrime is a handmade sex toy company that produces some of the most gorgeous dildos I’ve ever had the pleasure to get my paws on. Their wares are all silicone, all body-safe, and come in all shapes and sizes. As soon as I laid my eyes on the myriad of designs and colours available, my want monster got the boner of its life. Not long after, Uberrime’s charming and very friendly owner, Marco, granted me the opportunity to choose any product I wanted for review. Well, those of you who know me won’t be at all surprised to hear that I picked a tentacle. And now it’s time for me to wax lyrical about the gloriousness that is the Uberrime Xenusoid.

Uberrime Xenusoid Tentacle Dildo Review, image of a green, orange, blue and yellow tentacle with a black base, a white envelope printed with Uberrime's logo, on a black background covered in multicoloured spiders and webs

Well, it will be after I give you a bit more info about who Uberrime is. As I said, the company is run by Marco. What I didn’t say is that it’s run exclusively by Marco. Yep, from the very first spark of an idea to the designing, sculpting, pouring, unmoulding, boxing up and shipping of every Uberrime piece, there’s just Marco. For the time being. Now that prominent stores in the US are beginning to stock Uberrime products and pretty much everyone who comes across them wants one, I predict that he’s gonna have to start staffing the joint up. Continue reading “Uberrime Xenusoid Tentacle Dildo Review”

Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo Review

At the start of your pegging adventures, you’ll likely be on the lookout for small to medium sized dildos. If you’re in the early stages of anal play you might want those dildos to be soft and textureless. And to reach the P-Spot (or G-Spot if you’re doing strap-on play with a vulva owner) you’re probably looking at dildos with curved shafts and ‘hooked’ or bulbous tips. If that sounds like a quest you’re currently on, the Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo could be the one for you.

Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo Review, rainbow dildo in white and purple packaging with rainbow Pride by Avant Text

I absolutely adore the appearance of this dildo. I mean, how could I not? It’s bright, bold, and super cheerful. Each colour is separated from the next in clean, crisp blocks, and the orange stripe is practically neon. I’ve intentionally put the Avant P1 at the front of my dildo shelf (with another couple of rainbow dildos) so that whenever I open the cupboard door I get a burst of colour right in the face. Because, really, is there anything in the world more uplifting than the sight of a rainbow? Continue reading “Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo Review”

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator Review

I feel like I need to give my trials and tribulations with rabbit vibrators a name. Something like, the Bunny Chronicles or the Rabbit Saga. My quest for the perfect rabbit is ongoing and has been for some time. I’ve had almost perfect ones and absolutely trash ones, and everything in between. But I’m yet to find the holy grail of dual stimulators. Or am I? Read on to find out if the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator is the one…

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator Review - white and pink packaging with image of a pink rabbit vibrator on the front with Happy Rabbit text in blue

This thrusting number is part of Lovehoney’s recently revamped and relaunched, happier than they ever were, third generation of Happy Rabbits. I’ve tried one offering from the second series – the Happy Rabbit II G-Spot vibe – and it’s so close. So very close to being perfect, but still just short of the mark. Continue reading “Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator Review”

Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS Review

While you still can’t go two clicks of your mouse without bumping into a pasty looking pocket pussy or a pube-stripping rubber lurve ring, the sex toy world is finally becoming an exciting place for penis owners. And it isn’t all just fancified in-and-out masturbators with a bullet bunged into one end as an afterthought that y’all are getting, either. If you want them, you can have powerful pulsations and deep-tissue reaching vibrations. Depending on how you’re playing, you can have them in the palm of your hand or nestled at the base of your cock. For the former, you need to check out this toy. And for the latter? You’re exactly where you need to be; reading about the Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS.

Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS review, image of silver packaging featuring the toy and its name, on a black and grey tartan background

Hot Octopuss are magicians where penis toys are concerned. Their attempt to lasso the clit market kinda bombed (imo), but their cock options are faultless. The ATOM PLUS is, in their words, the next-generation in cock rings. And do you know what? I concur. Continue reading “Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS Review”