Uberrime Xenuphora Tentacle Dildo Review

If you’re a lover of Hentai you’re basically spoilt for choice at Uberrime. I mean, most places that make fantasy sex toys have a tentacle somewhere in their catalogue, but Uberrime has a whole family of them. Like em little and chunky? Check out the Tentare for Tango bullet sleeve, which is a perfectly respectable insertable size for those who like it shallow. Prefer them long and slim? Have a look at the Xenusoid. But if you’re after a middling length, beautifully textured piece, then the Uberrime Xenuphora might be the one for you.

Scandarella's Uberrime Xenuphora Tentacle Dildo Review, image of a sparkly white silicone tentacle with blue and orange colour splashes

While the other tentacle toys in this wee line fit very well within Uberrime’s intended sci-fi theme, the Xenuphora has more of an oceanic vibe to it. With its stingray shaped tip and its coral-esque base, it really does sing to me of the sea. Continue reading “Uberrime Xenuphora Tentacle Dildo Review”

Blush Novelties Ruse D Thang Dildo Review

One of my favourite ‘Big Brands’ is Blush Novelties. I’ve been lucky enough to try many of their products over the last few years. Squishies from the Real Nude line. Adorable plugs from the Play with Me line. And a few lovely pieces from the Ruse line, the first of which was the Blush Novelties Ruse D Thang Dildo.

Blush Novelties Ruse D Thang Dildo Review, image showing a slim, pink dildo inside of its black and multi-coloured packaging

The first thing anyone who can see colour is gonna notice about the D Thang is how pink its silicone is. Ye gods, it’s shocking. Neon pink. Nuclear pink. So pink it almost glows in broad frigging daylight. If you love pink you’re laughing, but if not, well…you don’t have to look at it once it’s between your legs unless you really want to. Personally, I like it. I’m not always a pink person, but when I am I get a kick out of how violent this shade actually is. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Ruse D Thang Dildo Review”

Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo Review

In the not too distant past, if I was ever asked about my ‘desert island sex toy’ I would toggle between the Njoy Pure Wand and the Doxy. Both awesome and equally deserving of a lifetime partnership with me in paradise. But more recently, my answer to that question isn’t so specific. In fact, it’s generic, cos all I’ll say is ‘a dildo’. Long story short, I frigging love dildos. Big ones, little ones, realistic ones, far out fantasy ones, they’re my absolute favourite type of sex toy. But when I approached the Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo it was with a critical eye, because, Paloqueth who?

Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo Review, image of a caucasian skin-toned realistic dildo on a black background

No, I’d never heard of Paloqueth before they rocked up in my emails looking for reviewers. When I first looked at their stuff, I admit to doing a little harrumph and disregarding their dildos as mislabelled rubber and their vibes as subpar white label rubbish. I won’t hide anything from y’all, lovely readers, the reason I ended up with this dildo and a bondage kit of theirs was cos they paid me to review them. Continue reading “Paloqueth Ultra Realistic Dual Density Dildo Review”

Uberrime Jellyfish Glow in the Dark Dildo Review

Last week, I wrote a review that about a sex toy that makes all my alien impregnation fantasies come true. Today, I’m all about a dildo from one of my fave toy makers. A dildo that transports me to one of my ultimate fantasy settings…under da sea! Exclusively available at SheVibe, it’s the Uberrime Jellyfish Glow in the Dark Dildo.

Uberrime Jellyfish Glow in the Dark Dildo Review, image showing a blue and purple silicone semi-realistic dildo with a heavily veined shaft and smooth head

As I’ve said many a time, I love Uberrime to the moon and back. Their designs are beautiful, unusual, and arousing, and they produce some stunning colour combos. They have a few SheVibe exclusives on the go, all of them aquatic in nature and all very much on my ‘I gotta hit it’ hitlist. You can get yo’self some Aquaman action with the Aqua King, take on a tantalising Tentacle, or, as I have, you can get jiggy with the Jellyfish. Continue reading “Uberrime Jellyfish Glow in the Dark Dildo Review”

Primal Hardwere G’lorp Ovipositor Review

A couple of years ago, I stumbled across an online video of a pretty gal using a floppy, hollow dildo to shove a clutch of jelly eggs up in her own vagina. Once she’d crammed half a dozen of them in there, she squatted and laid ‘em on her bathroom floor. I’m not gonna lie, the sight of those little wibbly balls splodging on the lino made me nauseous. But times they do a-change. Fast forward to now and here I am, rolling up my sleeves and settling in to tell y’all how much I fucking adore my Primal Hardwere G’lorp Ovipositor.

Primal Hardwere G'lorp Ovipositor Review, image showing a red textured silicone dildo with a black multi-tentacled base on a dark green background

Primal Hardwere is silicone sex toy maker in the US and they produce some pretty awesome stuff. Their niche isn’t dragons or merfolk, though, and it isn’t orcs or demons either. Nope, they cater to those who find their fetishes in the world of animals (yes, I do mean the canids and the equine) and in science fiction. Their G’lorp Ovipositor falls in the latter category.

So, first off, what is an ovipositor? Well, in nature it’s a tube through which some creepy crawlies and little fishies lay their eggs. A quick read up (cheers, Wikipedia!) informs me that some insects use their ovipositor to simply attach their eggs to a surface, but others use it to pierce or burrow in order to deposit their load inside of something… Continue reading “Primal Hardwere G’lorp Ovipositor Review”

Lovehoney Desire Love Egg Review

As I’ve probably said in the past, Desire is Lovehoney’s luxury brand. It’s very LELO-esque, which stands to reason given that someone from LELO had a hand in their design. There’s a bit of everything available, from clit vibes to cock rings to wands, all of them rechargeable. The most recent piece I got my paws on is the Lovehoney Desire Love Egg with Remote Control.

Lovehoney Desire Love Egg Review, image showing the black and purple packaging of the Desire range, with white text and an image of the purple toy on the front panel

I will admit that in picking this piece for review, I was taking an intentional gamble. See, if there’s one other type of sex toy that I sometimes struggle to enjoy it’s the love egg. I’ve had successes, sure, but the majority I’ve tried have been rubbish. Reason being, I just can’t feel them inside of me, and if I can the sensation is so weak as to be pointless. I had high hopes for the Lovehoney Desire Love Egg, though. But was I just letting myself be blinded because it’s from a brand I like? Continue reading “Lovehoney Desire Love Egg Review”

Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug Review

So far, it seems to be the year of favourite brands here at Scandarella. I’ve written about a bunch of dildos by brands I love and the odd vibe, and now it’s time for some butt stuff. Love Pipedream or hate ‘em, it’s hard to deny that their Icicles line is chock full of gorgeous things. In time for Valentine’s Day, my lovely sponsor, Forbidden Pleasures sent me a piece that I’ve coveted for some time. The appropriately romantic Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug.

Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug Review, image showing the plug's packaging, white with Icicles in black text and a picture of the toy on the front panel

Now, the first thing I need to tell y’all about the Icicles No 76 is that it’s tiny. Not the overall plug, but the insertable part. At 2” long with a circumference of 3.75”, it’s pretty much the same size as my big toe. See, I told ya, it’s really very small. If you’ve read any of my reviews before, you know that it’s far too little to do much of anything for my butt. And if you’re used to stuffing yours with anything bigger than a thumb, it probably won’t do much for you, either. Continue reading “Icicles No 76 Rose Butt Plug Review”

Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit Review

When I checked out my review pile to see what I had going on, I spied something that made my wee heart sink. It was like, DA-DA-DAAAAA! A bloody rabbit. Honestly, after my last one, I decided that I’m so not here for rabbit vibes. Fighting to ensure that all my hotspots get the attention they deserve got a bit irritating. Why do it to myself when there’s a shit ton of sex toys out there that wanna rock my world. But, there the Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit was, sat all rabbity and waiting for me to notice it, so out it came.

Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit Review, image showing a purple and white rabbit vibrator through the plastic window in its purple and white packaging

The reason it sat there, being ignored, for several ages of men is all down to its size. Every time it caught my eye I thought, what a teeny, tiny, little bunny. The thing is, it’s actually a standard length both overall (7”) and insertable (4”). The reason I perceived it as being over small is its skinniness. At its widest point, the shaft is just 3.75”, at its thinnest, it’s 3”. That makes the external arm, which is 3,25”, thicker than the majority of the shaft. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Hop Trix Rabbit Review”

LELO Alia External Massager Review

If you ask anyone who is into sex toys to name a luxury brand, there’s a good chance they’ll say LELO. While they may have fallen out of favour in recent years, their products remain global best sellers. Personally, I’m a fan. I’ve enjoyed most of the products of theirs that have come my way, and I really hoped that my latest one, sent to me by my awesome sponsor Crimson Princess, would be another hit. Check out my thoughts on the LELO Insignia Alia to see how that went.

LELO Alia External Massager Review, image showing the Alia's black packaging with a picture of the purple toy on the front

One thing I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call fault with when it comes to LELO is their presentation. Their packaging is sleek, attractive, and useable. They provide everything you need to get started: lube sachet, a plugged pin charger that’s universal to all of their toys, and a storage bag. Oh, and a little code bearing card that lets you register your product and activate the 12-month warranty, 10-year quality guarantee. Continue reading “LELO Alia External Massager Review”

NU-Sensuelle Curve G-Spot Vibrator Review

It’s been far too long since I rummaged in my box of NU-Sensuelle goodies from Latex Leather & Lace, folks. I’ve been spoilt for choice, with all manner of shapes and sizes and types to choose from. So instead of making a considered selection like an adult would, I’ve slipped my hand in lucky dip style to choose which one to review next. And the winner is the NU-Sensuelle Curve G-Spot Vibrator.

NU-Sensuelle Curve G-Spot Vibrator review, purple silicone sex toy in its white plastic charging dock

As I’ve said in previous NU-Sensuelle reviews, I’m rather taken with this brand. Each product of theirs I’ve tried so far has impressed me with their decent vibes. I like that they’re body safe, I like that they’re rechargeable, this one in a cute little dock. One thing that strikes me as odd, though, is that they’re not even splash-proof. These days, water resistance should be a standard feature in all sex toys, considering how essential thorough cleaning is. Not to mention the fact that many vibrators are used on a body part that goes through various stages of being wet. Do not get the base (where the magnetic charging pins are) wet is just…yeah. Continue reading “NU-Sensuelle Curve G-Spot Vibrator Review”