Temptasia Elvira by Blush Novelties Review

Even though I’ve refused to tell my friends and family my blog’s actual name, I’m happy to yap on about what goes down here whenever I get the chance. We talk about my stories and, more often than not, sex toys. Recently, a friend shocked the shit out of me when she announced that, despite my warnings (and occasional death threats) she still buys toxic/porous toys. Why? Cos she thinks that silicone ones are too expensive. I nearly tripped over my own tongue in my haste to prove her wrong. It was easily done, cos just so happened to have the Temptasia Elvira sat in my review pile.

Temptasia Elvira Review, black silicone dildoin black glossy packaging, on a black background covered with slver spiders and webs

The Elvira is a silicone dildo that’s made by one of my favourite ‘we do a bit of everything’ brands, Blush Novelties. And do you know how much it costs? A mere $27.60 if you’re shopping at SheVibe (or £23.99 in the UK). My mate paid $35.99 (£29.99) for her rubbery monstrosity. That’s a significant difference in price, right? But when I compared the two products, I pointed out that the only real difference between them in terms of design is realism. Continue reading “Temptasia Elvira by Blush Novelties Review”

Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Guest Review

Earlier on in the year, the super generous folks from Satisfyer sent me a whopping big box full of goodies. Some of them I’ve reviewed and others are up for grabs in my Halloween 2018 Giveaway. And one was popped in the post and sent to my lovely friend, the awesome Posy Churchgate, so she could give us her unbiased opinion. Read on to find out what she thought of the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples…

Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Guest Review, image of white and rose gold packaging featuring the product

I have not tried any products by Satisfyer before this one was sent to me by Scandarella to review, but I was immediately impressed by the presentation and the packaging. Continue reading “Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Guest Review”

LELO Lily 2 Scented Vibrator Review

Love em or hate em, there’s no denying the fact that LELO is one of the biggest names in luxury sex toys. Personally, I’m a lover. Sure, they have some pieces of tripe in their catalogue, but most of the products of theirs that I’ve tried have made me happy. Their Smart Wands are to die for, and they do some lovely anal toys. But one product I’ve long been curious about is the LELO Lily 2. I mean, it’s not every day a brand comes along with a chocolate scented vibrator, is it?

Lelo Lily 2 Review, Purple pebble shaped vibrator in black packaging

As with all LELO products, the Lily 2 is very smartly packaged. Along with the toy itself, you’ll find a USB pin charger, storage bag, lube sample, warranty card, and a couple of leaflets, all tucked neatly away in little compartments. It’s definitely worth registering your toy to activate your warranty, especially when it’s a high-end, high price tag one. LELO offers a 12-month fault/defect replacement warranty. The replacement is discretionary, though, they’ll want the toy so they can investigate before they pay out. Once the warranty expires the quality guarantee kicks in. This gives you 50% off a replacement should your toy croak within a 10-year period. Continue reading “LELO Lily 2 Scented Vibrator Review”

Uberrime Calaveras Halloween Dildo Review

Here’s a very well-known fact for you: I love reviewing sex toys. And here’s another one: I love Halloween. But what happens when you put those two loves together? The Uberrime Calaveras Dildo, that’s what. Yep, it’s time for me to write my annual Halloween product review, and I’m one very happy Spookarella.

Uberrime Calaveras Halloween Dildo Review, side view of a black and grey dildo with green testicles, on a black background covered with orange skulls

I know it wasn’t, but the Uberrime Calaveras appeals to me on so many levels it almost feels like it was designed specially for me. The part of me that lives for the spooky and the macabre gets so excited by it I could scream with joy every time I look at it. I mean, glow in the dark skulls for testicles? I’m so fucking here for that! A planchette shaped base? Sign me up! Continue reading “Uberrime Calaveras Halloween Dildo Review”

Uberrime Xenusoid Tentacle Dildo Review

Based in the sunny climes of Florida, Uberrime is a handmade sex toy company that produces some of the most gorgeous dildos I’ve ever had the pleasure to get my paws on. Their wares are all silicone, all body-safe, and come in all shapes and sizes. As soon as I laid my eyes on the myriad of designs and colours available, my want monster got the boner of its life. Not long after, Uberrime’s charming and very friendly owner, Marco, granted me the opportunity to choose any product I wanted for review. Well, those of you who know me won’t be at all surprised to hear that I picked a tentacle. And now it’s time for me to wax lyrical about the gloriousness that is the Uberrime Xenusoid.

Uberrime Xenusoid Tentacle Dildo Review, image of a green, orange, blue and yellow tentacle with a black base, a white envelope printed with Uberrime's logo, on a black background covered in multicoloured spiders and webs

Well, it will be after I give you a bit more info about who Uberrime is. As I said, the company is run by Marco. What I didn’t say is that it’s run exclusively by Marco. Yep, from the very first spark of an idea to the designing, sculpting, pouring, unmoulding, boxing up and shipping of every Uberrime piece, there’s just Marco. For the time being. Now that prominent stores in the US are beginning to stock Uberrime products and pretty much everyone who comes across them wants one, I predict that he’s gonna have to start staffing the joint up. Continue reading “Uberrime Xenusoid Tentacle Dildo Review”

Liberator Humphrey Toy Mount Review

It’s gonna be a Liberator-centric few weeks, folks, cos this is the first of four reviews coming in the next four weeks. There’ll be a cosy jizz proof blanket, a big boxy cube, and a sweet red heart all appearing on Scandarella soon, but today it’s all about the Liberator Humphrey Toy Mount.

Liberator Humphrey Toy Mount review, image of packaging featuring a slim white woman draped over a grey pillow

I think one thing most people have done at some point in their lives is hump a pillow, regardless of the junk they’ve got in their pants. Sex toy users have more than likely wedged a dildo against a pillow or rammed a Fleshlight beneath one in a bid to hold it still. I’ve done the former many a time, and I gotta tell you, there’s not much more frustrating than solo sex with a dong that just won’t keep still. Continue reading “Liberator Humphrey Toy Mount Review”

Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo Review

At the start of your pegging adventures, you’ll likely be on the lookout for small to medium sized dildos. If you’re in the early stages of anal play you might want those dildos to be soft and textureless. And to reach the P-Spot (or G-Spot if you’re doing strap-on play with a vulva owner) you’re probably looking at dildos with curved shafts and ‘hooked’ or bulbous tips. If that sounds like a quest you’re currently on, the Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo could be the one for you.

Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo Review, rainbow dildo in white and purple packaging with rainbow Pride by Avant Text

I absolutely adore the appearance of this dildo. I mean, how could I not? It’s bright, bold, and super cheerful. Each colour is separated from the next in clean, crisp blocks, and the orange stripe is practically neon. I’ve intentionally put the Avant P1 at the front of my dildo shelf (with another couple of rainbow dildos) so that whenever I open the cupboard door I get a burst of colour right in the face. Because, really, is there anything in the world more uplifting than the sight of a rainbow? Continue reading “Blush Avant P1 Pride Dildo Review”

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator Review

I feel like I need to give my trials and tribulations with rabbit vibrators a name. Something like, the Bunny Chronicles or the Rabbit Saga. My quest for the perfect rabbit is ongoing and has been for some time. I’ve had almost perfect ones and absolutely trash ones, and everything in between. But I’m yet to find the holy grail of dual stimulators. Or am I? Read on to find out if the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator is the one…

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator Review - white and pink packaging with image of a pink rabbit vibrator on the front with Happy Rabbit text in blue

This thrusting number is part of Lovehoney’s recently revamped and relaunched, happier than they ever were, third generation of Happy Rabbits. I’ve tried one offering from the second series – the Happy Rabbit II G-Spot vibe – and it’s so close. So very close to being perfect, but still just short of the mark. Continue reading “Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator Review”

Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS Review

While you still can’t go two clicks of your mouse without bumping into a pasty looking pocket pussy or a pube-stripping rubber lurve ring, the sex toy world is finally becoming an exciting place for penis owners. And it isn’t all just fancified in-and-out masturbators with a bullet bunged into one end as an afterthought that y’all are getting, either. If you want them, you can have powerful pulsations and deep-tissue reaching vibrations. Depending on how you’re playing, you can have them in the palm of your hand or nestled at the base of your cock. For the former, you need to check out this toy. And for the latter? You’re exactly where you need to be; reading about the Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS.

Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS review, image of silver packaging featuring the toy and its name, on a black and grey tartan background

Hot Octopuss are magicians where penis toys are concerned. Their attempt to lasso the clit market kinda bombed (imo), but their cock options are faultless. The ATOM PLUS is, in their words, the next-generation in cock rings. And do you know what? I concur. Continue reading “Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS Review”

NU-Sensuelle Bunni Bullet Vibrator

You may or may not recall me mentioning the bumper box of NU-Sensuelle treats that the fab people at Latex, Leather & Lace sent me a short while back. I’m really enjoying getting to know these products, there are all sorts to keep me entertained. I’ve already reviewed a mini vibe and a rabbit, and the latest one I want to talk about is the NU-Sensuelle Bunnii.

NU-Sensuelle Bunnii review, purple bullet vibrator with bunny ears, on a black sparkly background

Basically, the Bunnii is a bullet with ears. Soft, flexible silicone ones that could be your clit’s new bestie if the direct contact of a bullet is uncomfortable for you. Cos, even though it’s coated in the same purple silicone as the ears, the Nu-Sensuelle Bunnii bullet is rigid. Yeah, silicone is known for dampening vibrations, but there isn’t enough of it to even take the edge off the hard power that shakes the Bunnii’s ABS plastic core. That can be far too harsh a stimulation for some, but the ears introduce much gentler vibes. Continue reading “NU-Sensuelle Bunni Bullet Vibrator”