Fun Factory Bück Dich

What happens when one of your favourite sex toy brands gives a nod to one of your favourite metal bands? The Fun Factory Bück Dich, that’s what. Yep, in homage to their fellow German icon, industrial metal band Rammstein, Fun Factory has brought us one of the most spectacular spankable-insertables ever.

Translated from German into English, Bück Dich means ‘bend over’ and it’s the title of one of Rammstein’s songs. Give it a listen (and read the translation if you, like me, don’t speak German) and you’ll see that it was made to be given the kinky toy treatment. Continue reading “Fun Factory Bück Dich” →

Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

At the back end of last year, there was one aspect of our play that the Fella and I kinda neglected. Impact play. Shitty weather and dark nights kept not just our kid inside but his lil’ buddies, too, so anything that made a noise was off limits. We promised ourselves that once he went back to school and we had the house to ourselves through the day we’d get the spanky stuff out and make some racket. And we did! Well, we had a lovely Bound to Please Silicone Paddle from Sex Toys UK to review, so it would have been rude not to.

Now, in the interests of transparency, I’m gonna tell you that I’ve seen this paddle before. In fact, some of you who knew me before Scandarella will know I have one hanging in my bondage wardrobe and that its brand isn’t Bound to Please. Yep, this paddle is what is known as a white label product. Items made by one manufacturer and rebranded for sale in various stores. Some folks humph at this. Sometimes I’m one of them. But not this time. I’ve seen the current collection of Bound to Please silicone and I think adding this paddle was a brilliant move. Continue reading “Bound to Please Silicone Paddle” →

Bad Kitty Corset Paddle

It’s no secret that Bad Kitty is one of my favourite brands. Their stuff ranges from subtly serious to fun and funky, and there’s a good chance that, if you have a browse through Orion’s pages, you’ll find a piece or two that calls to you. The most recent piece to catch my eye is this gorgeous Bad Kitty Corset Paddle.

Bad Kitty Corset Paddle Red Side

Though I avoid lingerie like the plague these days (fuck these body image issues), I always pause whenever I see a picture of a woman wearing a corset. I adore the femininity of them, the way they emphasise curves and conceal flaws. They’re powerful, sexy, and my favourite colour combo is black on red. Those are the colours of my personal fave bedroom outfit; red corset with black panels and black lacing, and matching shoes. It’s the only one I bought in a bigger size when I gained weight. Continue reading “Bad Kitty Corset Paddle” →

Funkit Toys Acrylic Layered Paddle

I received something in the post a few weeks ago that’s very different to norm. Well, the norm for me, at least. I’ve had my bottom walloped with many a spanking paddle, but in terms of simplicity and efficiency, nothing has been quite like this. What is it? A Funkit Toys Acrylic Layered Paddle.

FUNKIT

Funkit Toys is an online store that’s packed to the rafters with handmade, body safe sex toys and impact toys. The entire operation is run by a lone individual. Yep, Kenton makes all the gorgeous silicone humpy stuff and all of the sleek hitty things personally. Continue reading “Funkit Toys Acrylic Layered Paddle” →

HurtMe DeLuxe Swatter with Anal Ball

It’s that time again, folks! That happy time when I get to tell you all about one of my favourite types of sex toy. One of those glorious, dual use impact/penetration toys. This time it’s the HurtMe Deluxe Swatter with Anal Ball. I’d had my eye on it for ages, so was over the moon when MEO said they’d send me one to review.

HURTME DELUXE SWATTER WITH ANAL BALL 1 Continue reading “HurtMe DeLuxe Swatter with Anal Ball” →

Tantus Plunge

Here are a few facts for you: wizards make magic with wands, witches make magic with cauldrons, Tantus makes magic with silicone, and I’ve long had a thing for sex toys that have a dual purpose. Good quality dildos that fan out into floggers? Yes! Crops with insertable wooden handles? Magic! The Tantus Plunge is my very first dual purpose spanking paddle and the thing is genius, as far as I’m concerned.

TANTUS PLUNGE 3

Continue reading “Tantus Plunge” →

Bad Kitty Black Cat Paddle

It’s Cocktober, people! Autumn is my number one season, and I love Halloween just a teensy bit more than I love Christmas. I adore carving and eating pumpkins, watching movies about vampires, zombies, and psychos, and reading books about witches, spooks, spectres and haunts. Oh, and I mustn’t forget to mention that I love black bats and black cats! They’re literally my spirit animals and I love them all year around, but especially at Halloween.

BAD KITTY BLACK CAT PADDLE 8

So, kicking off a month of spooky themed toy reviews and eerie erotica, is a review of the Bad Kitty Black Cat Paddle that was sent to me by the wonderful people at Orion. The second I saw this paddle on their site, I knew I was destined to be whacked with it, so was delighted when they said I could review it.

Continue reading “Bad Kitty Black Cat Paddle” →

Tantus Snap Strap

My lovely friend over at the Carnal Queen is one of the nicest people I know, but she’s also a massive tease. Whether in conversation or review form, the woman tempts me often, and because of her lures one of my 2016 goals was to bring into my possession one of Tantus’ awesome looking silicone paddles. The Fella pointed out that the Tantus Snap Strap was in the January sale at Coco de Mer, and after a bit of lash fluttering on my part, said I could have it for Valentine’s Day.

TANTUS SNAP STRAP Continue reading “Tantus Snap Strap” →