Whose Shame is it Anyway?


This post isn’t an erotic one. It’s my first contribution to a new writing meme run by the lovely sub_Bee. It’s a link up called ‘Menstruation Matters’ and you’ll find all kinds of posts there by all kinds of people, all sharing their experiences with a goal of normalising and destigmatising menstruation. Check out the link at the bottom of this post when you’re done reading if you want to know more.  

Period sex. Some people love it so much they actively seek it out. Others hate it so much they actively avoid it. And some folks don’t care one way or another, cos a fuck is a fuck is a fuck and a bit of blood isn’t gonna put a dampener on things.

When I was younger, I would always insist that period sex either happened in the shower or it didn’t happen at all. So off to the shower we would go, and the hot water would wash away the mess even as we made it. Continue reading “Whose Shame is it Anyway?”

Unnervingly Unnatural

When I saw what the latest Kink of the Week topic was, I knew I had to take part, and I knew I had to ramble on about my own wonky self rather than weave a web of fiction.

See, I’ve made it no secret that I’m a lover of teeth. They’re the first thing I notice about a person and there’s nothing that makes my belly flip harder than a crooked toothed smile. Honestly, I love it when someone cracks out a grin and I spot a wonky (or pointed) canine or a chipped front tooth. It’s enough to make someone beautiful to me. I like bodies, sure, but even the most perfect of forms can lose its appeal for me if I don’t find its owner’s smile attractive.

Why am I going on about teeth in a post about eyes? Continue reading “Unnervingly Unnatural”

Christmas At Forbidden Pleasures

If you’re doing a spot of sexy shopping this Christmas, you’ll be in need of a good sale. Loads of sex toy shops have already launched their festive reductions to take advantage of Black Friday madness. One such shop is my lovely sponsor, Forbidden Pleasures.

This UK based company has something for everyone, no matter whether you’re paying with pennies or pounds. Delivery is free over £30, and if your chosen toy is battery powered you get your batteries free so you can play straight away. Just remember to pop them in your basket on the product page when you add your toy.

If you need a bit of gifting inspiration (and know that sex toys will be received well by your giftee) here’s a quick list of full brand discounts and a few of my personal top picks. Continue reading “Christmas At Forbidden Pleasures”

A Bumpy Ride: First Time Pegging

Most of what I write here at Scandarella is either toy reviews or complete fiction. I don’t often write about myself, about the Fella, or what we do with and to each other when the sun goes down. But I’m gonna look at real life for a change. I’m gonna take y’all way back when to the first time I ever shimmied my ass into a strap-on harness so that I could fuck the Fella with a faux cock.

Of all the things we’ve tried together, him deciding that he wanted to be on the receiving end of anal was the one that surprised me the most. Continue reading “A Bumpy Ride: First Time Pegging”

Hello There! Meet the Ersties Podcast.

The Ersties Podcast is hosted by Lina Bembe, Olivia Rose, Pandora Passmore and myself, Paulita Pappel. Four perverts with a mouthful of sex. Our story is possibly one of true love. At least I rely on the emotional and romantic support of my fellow podcasters more than on any other lover. The four of us first came together to work on a project for Ersties.  We were building a secret gang whose main purpose was to tackle feminism and public spaces with a touch of sassy humor.

Our work meetings usually started with a brainstorm session, and by that, I mean we ordered a round of cocktails and some food, and we ended up talking for hours about anything and everything. We had just met, and soon we felt very comfortable with each other. We started sharing very intimate anecdotes, including awkward tinder dates and herpes-inducing clubbing accidents. I guess it comes as no surprise that our favorite topics revolved around sexuality. Continue reading “Hello There! Meet the Ersties Podcast.”

Where I Go When I’m Gone

(This ain’t no sexy post. It’s a rant of sorts in which I talk – possibly pointlessly – about depression as it is for me)

You may or may not have noticed that, on occasion, I’ll more or less disappear for a week or so. Scandarella will see no content. My Twitter page will be full of tweets spewed out by a plugin that keeps it looking active when I’m not around. My emails go unanswered, DMs get pushed to one side.

But all of that is the stinky icing on a shit cake I’ll have been baking for weeks behind the scenes. Before I make the decision to not write, many other things in my life will already be getting neglected. Continue reading “Where I Go When I’m Gone”

A Pain in the Neck


Image used with permission of Victoria Blisse

Tossing my empty coffee cup into the backseat of my car, I stare at the building in front of me. Broken windows, graffitied walls, a big fucking hole in the roof. Only God knows why these creatures choose such dilapidated buildings to roost in.

My car door slams and I don’t even get three feet away before the rainclouds overhead decide to shed their load. I hunker down into my mac, splashing through red and blue flashing puddles as I make my way to the city’s newest feeding den.

A young officer signals me over to his car. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m old enough that pretty much everyone looks young to me, but this kid looks especially fresh. Well, he would if he wasn’t so pallid. Rubbing his neck with a shaking hand, he bobs his head in the direction of the shattered hotel door.

“It’s in there.” Continue reading “A Pain in the Neck”

Abstract Love

Do I love her?

Every time I pass her in the street my heart forgets the meaning of rhythm. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, my lungs shrivel up because all the moisture in my body is spreading over the surface of my skin.

I stare at her so brazenly, even during the day, it makes the pedestrians around us snigger. How can they not see that her beauty is unrivalled, even in a city of millions? From the flowers in her hair to her ever-obscured eyes and pillowy lips, she’s perfection.

Yes, during the day I stare, but only at night do I approach. Continue reading “Abstract Love”

I Will Reign

A black velvet painting sprung to elegant life
Like a poignant Madonna perverted to night
And I have ridden from the westering light
To expend my lust
Verse from “Dusk and Her Embrace” from the album “Dusk…and Her Embrace” by Cradle of Filth

As the last light of day finally bleeds from the sky, Reign emerges tall and silent from beneath a weeping willow in the Church of St Mary Magdalene graveyard. He tightens his fist around the picture in his hand, feeling the crumpled canvas become wet from the cuts his sharp nails open the skin of his palm. His nose is pinched, his lips thinned, and his eyebrows are drawn together in his irritation. These mausoleum doors should be open. She should have made it so. She should understand what it is to make someone like him wait. Continue reading “I Will Reign”