Imaginary Self-Destruction

Okay, so this is possibly my weirdest personal ritual and I confess that I don’t feel particularly comfortable sharing it because it’s kinda fucked up. While it’s something I’ve done almost my entire adult life, it isn’t a physical thing. It takes place entirely in my head and I do it whenever sadness, frustration, resentment, fear and rage combine to overwhelm me to the point of sobbing exhaustion. Basically, I systematically destroy myself, and when I’m finished I feel oddly at peace.

Be aware that I talk about pretty much everything that ever required a content warning, so if there’s any subject that triggers you, proceed with caution.

When things get too much for me and the part of me that the world sees shuts down, the part that only I know awakens. It’s the part of me that offers up cinematic responses to overwhelming situations, almost like mental self-defence. I see myself getting up and walking away from people – mid-sentence – when I don’t want to hear whatever it is they have to say. I see myself screaming, throwing things. And yes, sometimes I even see myself smacking certain people right in the mouth. My mind shows me reacting to things in ways that would provide the most satisfaction in the moment, but I’m always left feeling worse once that moment is gone because this is the point where guilt and shame at my own violent impulses set in. Continue reading “Imaginary Self-Destruction”

JimmyJane Focus Sonic Vibrator Review

Even though I’ve been reviewing sex toys in some capacity or another since 2014, my experience with JimmyJane products remains limited and largely negative. On the face of it, their stuff looks classy, well designed, and well deserving of its high-end status. But when it comes down to it, the power payoff just isn’t worth the financial outlay. For this reason, I’ve actively avoided the entire brand. Then I spotted the JimmyJane Focus Sonic Vibrator – their answer to the Zumio – and decided it was time to give them another chance.

Scandarella's JimmyJane Focus Sonic Vibrator Review, image showing white packaging with an image of the product on the front cover

It wasn’t because I love the near laser accurate stimulation offered by this type of toy because, on the whole, I don’t. I discovered with the Zumio that there is such a thing as too pinpoint when it comes to my clitoris. I chose to check out the JimmyJane Focus because it had something the Zumio didn’t, something I’ve thought the latter might benefit from. Sleeves. Three silicone attachments that slip over the stimulating tip to change the type of stimulation on offer. Continue reading “JimmyJane Focus Sonic Vibrator Review”

Supernatural Erotica – Nemesis

This little tale was supposed to have been the next instalment in the A to Z Challenge I took part in (and failed) in April. I may have abandoned the challenge, but I love writing supernatural erotica so couldn’t abandon the story.

It had been said that, when Fame came to men in their dreams, she brought beauty, comfort, and warmth. Some reported that she had the face of an angel, the body of a Goddess, others that she was indiscernible, unknowable. They claimed to have felt real love pouring from her heart into theirs, they swore that she’d revealed mysteries and secrets of the world but that, once she was gone, they couldn’t hold onto anything more substantial than the knowledge of her visit.

The only thing they all agreed on was that, for her, they would continue to fight consciousness, would even drug themselves in their desperation to return to and remain in the hazy world she inhabited. For her, men would embrace ruin.

Slipping through the crack of an open window, Fame shook her head in amusement. To them she was everything, but to her, they were little more than food. Continue reading “Supernatural Erotica – Nemesis”

Paloqueth Bondage Kit Review

Not too long ago, I reviewed a dildo from a company I hadn’t heard of before they rocked up in my emails. To my surprise, it wasn’t half bad, and that really did put me in high spirits because it wasn’t the only product this company had sent for review. In the box with it was this, the Paloqueth Bondage Set, and given that it’s a ten-piece kit and costs less than $25, I’d confess that I’d set the bar pretty low.

Scandarella's Paloqueth Bondage Set Review, image showing the entire contents of a black leather bondage kit - wrist and ankle cuffs, collar and leash, hogtie, ball gag, blindfold, nipple clamps, flogger, tickler, and rope on a  pale gold background covered with tiny gold foil stars

The first thing I noted after I opened the exceptionally plain, yet strangely classy looking packaging was the smell. Because the Paloqueth product page stated that this is a leather set I expected to be hit with at least a little whiff of well, leather. Did I smile dreamily while filling my lungs with the scent of a future spanking session? Nope, I wrinkled my nose at the scent of mustiness and just knew that I was gonna find white bloom on something somewhere. Continue reading “Paloqueth Bondage Kit Review”

Strange Bedfellas Batou Dildo Review

I love sex toys, folks. I love them like the Fella loves his mobile phone, like my cats love fish, like my mother loves telling me what to do. Playing with them, talking about them, reading about them, writing about them…I love it all. But some sex toys I love more than others, and one of my straight-to-top-ten new faves is the Strange Bedfellas Batou Dildo.

Scandarella's Strange Bedfellas Batou Dildo Review, image showing a pastel pink, purple, and blue horned-base dildo alongside some colourful stickers and miniature squishy silicone shapes, on a blue background covered in silver stars

Run by Meesh and Patrick, a wife and husband team in Texas, Strange Bedfellas is part of a beautifully blooming industry of indie fantasy sex toy makers, and their personal focus is monsters! Glorious silicone creations that come in all shapes and sizes and in some of the most fantastical colour combos I’ve seen to date. Continue reading “Strange Bedfellas Batou Dildo Review”

Chemical [se]X2: Just One More Book Review

In just seven days’ time, a new book will be unleashed upon the world. Chemical [se]X2: Just One More is an anthology of fourteen supersexy short stories written by some of the hottest names in erotica and edited by two of my fave writers; Oleander Plume, creator of the most sexually rampant guitarist in all the known universe, and Mischa Eliot, a woman whose one-handed reads have been known to make me hungry in more ways than one. Continue reading “Chemical [se]X2: Just One More Book Review”

Blush Novelties Real Nude Sumo Dildo Review

Something I will never tire of is the seemingly endless array of dildo-y goodness that’s flooding from Blush Novelties right now. It’s a bold statement to make, but I reckon they have something for almost everyone except folks who opt exclusively for extremely large sizes. Those who like their insertables long, generously thick, and squishy, should check out the Blush Novelties Real Nude Sumo.

Scandarella's Blush Novelties Real Nude Sumo Dildo Review, image showing a large purple silicone dildo in its clear plastic clamshell packaging with a blue and pink paper insert

I really do love the Real Nude line a whole hell of a lot. Each piece, from the little Ergo Mini to this, the Sumo – which is the largest offering from this range to date – is made of dual density silicone. The idea of dual density, with its firm but flexible core and super soft exterior, is to provide a closer-to-human experience. It’s intended to emulate the hard shafted, softer headed nature of an erection instead of being a solid hunk of silicone. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Real Nude Sumo Dildo Review”

Divine Interventions Jackhammer Jesus Dildo Review

It’s a good job that I was never gonna get past St Peter at the pearly gates of Heaven, cos if I’d have even half a chance after getting jiggy with this sweet thing last year, well… I’ve quite literally fucked it. Please, don’t pray for me, it was my own doing. I aimed for peak sex toy depravity and I damn well hit it with the Divine Interventions Jackhammer Jesus Dildo. And do you know what? I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

Scandarella's Divine Interventions Jackhammer Jesus Dildo Review, image of a blue, semi-realistic silicone dildo in the shape of a crucifix bearing the body of Christ, on a cream background covered in shiny gold stars

When I got my first taste of sex toys back in the late 90s, nearly everything was ‘flesh tone’ and anatomical. If I was shopping back then with my current experience, I would have had to narrow stuff down by size and texture. But today, sex toys have become an art form, so now I shop with my eyes as well as the preferences of my orifices. Continue reading “Divine Interventions Jackhammer Jesus Dildo Review”

M is for… My Sacrifice

Concealed by shadows in the corner of a spacious room, Magda clutches her robe to her breast. Silence weighs upon her and the rest of the room’s occupants like a heavy blanket, even though more than a dozen robed people have gathered in front of a small dais. Upon it, two men with their heads close together converse in mouthed words and hand gestures. They’re deliberating the fate of a third man, who kneels, head bowed, at the foot of the few short steps leading onto the dais.

Though she knows what the judgement will be, Magda cannot stop her heart from aching. She cannot bring her breathing – or her shivering – under control. Being a part of this preordained event and yet separate from it until her part comes proves to be impossible. She cannot drag her eyes away, does not want to. Every blink is resented for even a heartbeat of not being able to see his profile through the gaps in the curtain of his hair is agony to her. Continue reading “M is for… My Sacrifice”

Elust #117

Photo courtesy of Master’s Eye

Welcome to Elust 117

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #118? Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A dominant presence

He Gripped Her Hand and Centered Her

Being alone together.

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

What the fig?

Mind and body

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

O! or, errr… NO!: Orgasm Control in an F/m Dynamic

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy! Continue reading “Elust #117”