At the back end of last year, there was one aspect of our play that the Fella and I kinda neglected. Impact play. Shitty weather and dark nights kept not just our kid inside but his lil’ buddies, too, so anything that made a noise was off limits. We promised ourselves that once he went back to school and we had the house to ourselves through the day we’d get the spanky stuff out and make some racket. And we did! Well, we had a lovely Bound to Please Silicone Paddle from Sex Toys UK to review, so it would have been rude not to.
Now, in the interests of transparency, I’m gonna tell you that I’ve seen this paddle before. In fact, some of you who knew me before Scandarella will know I have one hanging in my bondage wardrobe and that its brand isn’t Bound to Please. Yep, this paddle is what is known as a white label product. Items made by one manufacturer and rebranded for sale in various stores. Some folks humph at this. Sometimes I’m one of them. But not this time. I’ve seen the current collection of Bound to Please silicone and I think adding this paddle was a brilliant move.
I mean, it really is a fab thing. Not including the little ‘O’ at the top for hanging, the piece measures just shy of 15” in length. It has a generous impact surface of 8” by just under 2.5” and is half a centimetre thick. The entire piece is made of lovely matte black silicone, with one side being completely smooth other than for the stitch effect that borders the whole thing. The other side has a faux quilted design of diamonds. If lighter strikes are used both sides offer slightly different sensations, but when it comes to the massive whaps it all feels much of a muchness.
As plain and almost plastic-y as it seems, looking at it really gives me the chills because I know what a bastard it is. See, silicone might not look intimidating and it might not feel all that threatening to the fingers, but it delivers one hell of a thwack. It really is akin to belly-flopping into a pool (which I have done, yes, such shame). There’s the slap that makes everyone within earshot cringe and groan, then there’s the sting that makes a body want to collapse into a sobbing heap, and then finally there’s the redness that burns for days. And yes, with silicone paddles – including the Bound to Please Silicone Paddle – there is sometimes blood.
Now, I do have a bunch of silicone paddles from various brands and one thing that’s always baffled me about this one is how deep I can feel the impact. Most of my other comparable paddles are surface level but this one is a muscle acher. As it turns out, it’s not the solid silicone piece I initially thought it was. It seems to have a metal core. Yes, a flexible metal plate runs right through the centre of this thing. It’s only about an inch wide and it doesn’t add much weight to the paddle, but it does add some heft to every single smack.
When we use it, I have to be bound and gagged. If I wasn’t the entire North East of England would know Ella was getting a good thrashing. Yeah, I’ve screamed bloody murder cos of this paddle. I’ve ran away from the Fella and screamed again when he gave chase, though as luck would have it I was ‘unable’ to lock the bathroom door fast enough and he caught me.
The smooth side delivers nothing but burning whacks, while the ‘quilted’ side can offer some milder (though still bastarding painful) sensations. If the Fella lands it just right it can leave a pretty diamond pattern on my skin, but if he doesn’t land it true or if he does that wipe-smack thing he does then all I get is redness.
Because of the silicone and metal, the edges of the Bound to Please Silicone Paddle are more or less solid. If you tire of smacks, turning it on its side and using it in a similar way to which a butcher would use a hatchet makes to a whole new weapon toy. This delivers concentrated pain to fleshy areas with sharp accuracy and the bruises that bloom afterwards are spectacular. If you decide to try using the paddle in this way, make sure you only do on fleshy areas like the butt and thighs or go gentler on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.
In general, hitting someone in the back could damage the kidneys so if you’re striking someone there during play caution should always be observed. In fact, it should be observed as standard no matter what body part you’re whapping. But with something hard, rigid and unforgiving (which the edges of this paddle definitely are) I’d recommend that the back be avoided.
So, yeah. Even though this paddle isn’t new to me, I’m glad it came my way. I’ve always loved my original but having so much stuff to choose from it ended up hanging abandoned in the wardrobe. Now I have it in my knicker drawer and I get all jittery and mushy whenever I look at it. It’s a fantastic bit of kit and for its price, there’s no reason why impact lovers shouldn’t give it a shot.
To get your hands on one, click the banner below and head over to Sex Toys UK. While you’re there why not check out the rest of the Bound to Please silicone line? There are some great pieces to be had there!