“Fucking hell, that’s big enough, isn’t it?!” Those were the now immortal words ejaculated by the Fella when he saw the Nude Impressions 03 Vibrator sitting in its plastic box on my bedside table.
My reply? “It’s not too bad, though we do have bigger.”
The Nude Impressions 03 is the latest review product to be sent to me by Blush Novelties. I’m coming to realise that, with their huge number of ranges and quality products (not all of them, mind you, as Blush still use some hinky materials to make their toys) Blush are fast becoming one of my favourite brands.
The Nude Impressions range is definitely one of their better lines, and I’ll tell you all about why as soon as I’ve said a few words about the packaging. Those words are, bleurgh, meh, and ouch! I’m really not keen on the huge plastic box approach, because I always manage to slice a finger. It *could* be because I’m such an eager beaver and rarely take my time in getting things outta their boxes, but it could also be because this type of packaging it shit, and it should be ditched in favour of trays in card boxes, if a sturdy storage box can’t be provided.
That leads me nicely into saying, there is a storage bag hidden away in the slim cardboard box that acts as a backdrop to the toy, and in there you’ll also find a USB charger, an instruction booklet, and a two pin plug. Yes, the Nude Impressions range are all rechargeable!
So, pulling the Nude Impressions 03 out of its box, you’re faced with, as the Fella so eloquently pointed out, quite a beast of a vibrator. It’s made from the silkiest of silicones, and is a lovely shade of red. I spent ages just sat there, absent mindedly stroking its smooth shaft, and the Fella became so turned on watching me, I ended up with sticky fingers. It wasn’t even charged and it was getting the party started!
Standing at 8 inches from base to tip – 5.5 inches of that insertable – the 03 is a decent size. The shaft is very straight, and the rounded bump (representational of a cute set of balls) provides an excellent hand hold for thrusting. The girth is a modest 5 inches at the top of those balls, and the shaft thickens as it rises, swelling into a deliciously fat head that’s around 6 inches in circumference at its widest point.
That head has a nicely pronounced edge, so it can be felt popping in and out of the body, and the ‘face’ of it is quite flat, so it offers broad stimulation of the general G-Spot area. Another thing to note is, there’s a small dimple in the very tip of the toy, and I really can’t figure out what that’s for, other than collecting vag gunk and grossing me out during clean up time.
I’ll tell you how my sweet spot got on with that chubby head in a bit, but first, the vibes, and how to control them.
The user interface of the Nude Impressions 03 is simple. Once you’re all charged up (the charging point is situated in the toys base, and you’re looking at an hour to an hour and a half for a full charge, which gives you up to 40 minutes of playtime), press the on button once, and a little flash will let you know that your toy is ready to go, then one push of the function button below it brings the toy to life. If you keep pressing it, you’ll scroll all the way through the intensities and modes until you cycle back to the start.
The Nude Impressions 03 offers 5 speeds, and 5 patterns, and the vibrations themselves are not shabby! In fact, they’re pretty fucking awesome. There’s a decent rumble to them, and that doesn’t fade or turn into an annoying buzz when you crank up the speeds like so many other toys do. What’s more, each intensity is markedly different from the last, and that top speed is just fabulous.
My first play with the 03 was while I was alone, and it was quite unintentional. I’d stuck it to the bedside table after charging, packed the charging cable and other gubbins back in the box, then picked up the vibrator. Or I’d intended to pick it up anyway. That suction cup base (which also makes the 03 harness compatible) stuck like glue, and after a few unsuccessful tugs to try to remove it, my vagina woke up and did one of those primal ‘get in me’ pulses it’s so fond of.
So in me it went. I slapped on some lube, and lowered myself down on my chubby-assed, silky red vibrator. It’s so filling, especially right at the start of a session when my vaginal walls haven’t even began to stretch to accommodate anything bigger than a finger, and every time I reached the ridge of the head, I could feel it gently pressing into my G-Spot, not coming out any further cos it was catching on my pubic bone.
Leaning back a little gave that head constant contact with my G-Spot, aided somewhat by the little bit of give between the suction cup and balls, and once I could move up and down the shaft with ease, I groped for the controls and switched on the vibes.
Anyone who regularly reads my blog will know I’m not a huge fan of patterns, but my G-Spot responds uber well to the fifth pattern, and once I’ve teased myself into a frenzy, quickly pressing the button a few times until I’m back on constant top speed makes me detonate.
Getting the Fella in on the act can either be an adventure in pleasure or pain, depending on his mood. He knows that the shape of the head can be a little uncomfy for me, so every now and again he gives me a little jolt from it, but he mostly just fucks the shit out of me with it. He can get a fantastic angle for thrusting… an angle that gets me squirting, and he goes so fast we end up with fluid splattering all over the place. My kingdom for a waterproof sheet!
As I said above, the suction cup base makes the Nude Impressions 03 harness compatible, and also anal safe. I’ve used it anally a few times, and it feels so good, man! On days when I’m hungry for deep penetration and strong vibrations, I reach for the 03 with two greedy hands, and I always make sure it’s firmly stuck to a smooth surface so I can pull all the way out and sink back on without fear of my butt taking the toy with it, and that’s just the way I like it.
Cleaning is made simple by the fact that the Nude Impressions 03 is waterproof. The charging point has one of those sucky little silicone tabs on it, and even though it feels quite secure, I still hate it. They make me uncomfortable, so on the rare occasions that I fancy making my bath or shower time a bit wetter, I avoid toys that charge this way, which is a shame in this case, cos I can imagine that riding something this good while the Fella soaps my erogenous zones could be quite fun. It’s totally doable, it’s just not for me.
So, I’m definitely giving the Nude Impressions 03 two thumbs up, cos it’s brilliant. Anyone looking for a substantially sized, powerful, rumbly vibrator should maybe give it a shot. I honestly don’t think they’ll be disappointed. If you’d like to give it a shot you can pick one up from Betty’s Toy Box.
The Nude Impressions 03 was sent to me by Blush Novelties in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences my opinions, which are now, and will forever be, my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.