Under the Sea

Lydia Parsons is the love of my life. I adore her. I breathe for her. Every single moment of my life is taken up by thoughts that are dominated by her face and her voice. She asks every day what it is that makes me love her so completely, but it’s impossible to give her a definitive answer.

So I tell her something different every time. One day I told her it was the scent of honey shower gel on her skin. The next I told her it was the way her morning hair made her look like she’d used dynamite as curlers. Last time she asked me? I’d pulled her knickers down, right in the middle of our back garden, and told her I loved her because her ass is a peach and her pussy delivers the cream. Then I’d buried my face in her soft pubic hair and licked that delicious pussy until it came in my mouth. Continue reading “Under the Sea”

Kinklab ElectroWhip Neon Wand Attachment

I love e-stim. It’s sexy, stingy, and has helped me achieve an orgasm I never thought would be possible for me; the nipple orgasm. But I sometimes find that skin pads keep the sensations too localised for me to fully enjoy them, and neon wand electrodes are too tame. However, there are a few products that change everything when it comes to the neon wand, and one of them is the Kinklab ElectroWhip.

It looks like an unassuming, innocent little flogger, doesn’t it? Its eight, 6mm wide falls look tame and a bit cheap when they’re dangling limply from the end of the Neon Wand. They deliver a sharp strike, for sure, cos they’re made from rubber, but they don’t look like they could ever be the reason behind tears of pain spilling down a person’s cheeks.

Continue reading “Kinklab ElectroWhip Neon Wand Attachment”

Emojibator Chili Pepper Mini Vibrator

Do you remember the review I did of the awesomely designed Emojibator Eggplant Vibrator back in April? It made me smile but didn’t have what it took to make me come. Well, when I received that toy, I also received its sibling, and I think it’s high time I reviewed it. So here are my thoughts on the Emojibator Chili Pepper Mini Vibrator.

Unlike the Eggplant, which came on a card mocked up as a mobile phone screen, the Emojibator Chili Pepper comes in a box. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, but I have to mention the little smiling chilis that are printed on one side, and Emojibator’s bold “Go F*ck Yourself. Literally,” slogan that’s emblazoned on the other. If I was mooching around a sex shop it would definitely catch my eye, so yay for that! Continue reading “Emojibator Chili Pepper Mini Vibrator”

Omeha Soy Wax Massage Candle by Desirables

Here at the Scandal household, massage candles are one of our most purchased ‘consumable’ products. As the receiver, I love the heat, scents and relaxation a good candle brings. As the poor sod with the arthritic thumbs, the Fella appreciates a decent bit of glide. And one of the nicest candles we’ve tried this year is this gorgeous Omeha Soy Wax Massage Candle by Desirables.

Presented in a simple frosted glass jar, the Desirables candle is perfect for gifting, and at 120ml (4oz) with an approximate 15 hour burn time, it keeps on giving for quite a few sessions.

While it’s solid and unlit in its jar, the wax looks creamy and kinda like a soft cheese. In the mix along with the soy wax there is mango seed butter, sunflower seed oil, a blend of fruity, floral and woody oils and a helping of skin softening Vitamin E. All natural ingredients, no nasty chemicals, and suitable for vegans. Nice! Continue reading “Omeha Soy Wax Massage Candle by Desirables”

Überlube Premium Silicone Lubricant

Überlube. I’ve had my eyes all over this stuff for absolutely ages, but I would always balk at the price tag. We go through lube at a rate of knots here at the Scandal household, so forking out like, £25 for one bottle never seemed cost-effective to me. I weighed it up many times but, in the end, I always decided to stick with my reliable, less expensive faves.

But then Überlube kindly sent me a box full of goodies and, after clearing out the open bottles I had lying around, it was time to find out why this lube is so universally popular. Continue reading “Überlube Premium Silicone Lubricant”

Unbound Box Girl’s Night In Box

If you’ve been a Scandarella reader for a while, you’ve probably noticed that I’m fond of doing subscription box reviews. Getting a periodical delivery of sometimes surprise products is exciting, though many places who provide this service will let you know what to expect in advance, whether by email or on their websites. Some of those businesses will also offer set boxes that are jam packed with carefully curated pieces at knock down prices.

One such business is Unbound Box. A sassy, women first sex toy store based in NYC. They have their quarterly subscriptions (the current one at the time of publishing this review being oral sexcentric and featuring the awesome Womanizer Pro40), their shop full of body safe sex toys, and their selection of Unbound Boxes. When I was given a chance to choose something to review, it was one of the latter that caught my eye; the limited edition Girls Night In Box. Continue reading “Unbound Box Girl’s Night In Box”

Aslan Leather Nicki Minx Strap On Harness

When the lovely folk at Uberkinky gave me the opportunity to choose a harness for review, I opened the link with pursed lips and a critical eye. I have a harness that sings an irresistible siren song to the dark side of me, so I wondered if there would be anything there that would grab my attention. A quick look had the girly girl in me squealing with joy when I spotted the Aslan Leather Nicki Minx Strap-On Harness. I didn’t even realise Uberkinky stocked Aslan Leather strap-ons!

No sooner was it here than was it out of the bag and in my face. Yes, I did say I put the harness in my face. For me, the scent of leather is one of the most arousing scents there is, so I couldn’t resist a deep hit. Continue reading “Aslan Leather Nicki Minx Strap On Harness”

Tantus Twist Silicone Butt Plug

One of the things I love most about sex blogging is that, because of it, the Fella is getting more and more into butt stuff. I mean, we’ve been fans of anal play for a long time, but he never used to do it on his own. Solo masturbation for him was always spit and a fist in the bathroom, but things have changed. He’s learned that lube isn’t just for sex, and butt plugs aren’t just for partner play. One of his (and my) current fave plugs is the Tantus Twist.

I was surprised when he picked it out while I was choosing some review goodies from MEO. Not because he wanted to try it, but because we didn’t already have it. I’ve got dozens of butt plugs, but this is my first ever Tantus one. Shocking really, if you consider that Tantus is my go-to brand when it comes to silicone. Continue reading “Tantus Twist Silicone Butt Plug”

Zado Leather Neck and Handcuffs

Of all the brands of bondage gear we’ve used, when it comes to restraints, Zado has to be a favourite. I’ve not had one product of theirs that has failed to impress me, and the Zado Leather Neck and Handcuffs set is no exception.

I find something supremely sexy about wrist to neck restraints. I’ve had my various limbs trussed up in many different ways, but nothing is quite so thrilling/horrifying for me as being unable to lower my arms. It gives me no choice but to have my hands flapping near my head, often slapping myself accidentally whenever I’m jerked without warning. And if the Fella decides, in a moment of pure devilment, to tickle me, I can do fuck all about it other than scream. Continue reading “Zado Leather Neck and Handcuffs”

MEO Essentials Guest Review by Just A Monkey Reviews

I’m super delighted to be publishing this guest review from new reviewer, Just A Monkey Reviews. It’s his first time dipping his toes into the waters of the sexy reviewing world, so if you like his style (and his fucking amazing photos) give him a follow on Twitter. Check out what he thought of some picks from MEO’s massive range of lubes and sprays…

I was asked by Scandarella if I would write a guest review of some MEO Lubricants, and jumped at the chance to kick-start my reviewing career. Continue reading “MEO Essentials Guest Review by Just A Monkey Reviews”