The Weekly Wank – #30DayOrgasmFun

#30DayOrgasmFun is a week in and I’ve had the house to myself for most of it so it’s been easy to grab some masturbation time. And it’s been a good week for orgasms. Mostly. There were a couple of days when the very thought of touching my clit made me groan in much the same way I would if someone asked me to climb a mountain. But the rest of the week saw me getting down and dirty with myself every day.

Wanna know how I did? Here you go:

Day 1
I wrote about getting intimate with myself in my post, A Month of Orgasms. Check it out here if you wanna.

Day 2
A doubler with my Doxy. Two orgasms back to back, all done in less than five minutes. The second one came with jizz, which is now the maiden stain on my new fucking mattress.

Day 3
One hard, wet orgasm courtesy of the Njoy Pure Wand and We-Vibe Tango, had in an empty bath so I could squirt like a burst pipe without further mattress fuckuppery.

Day 4
Mutual masturbation for the win! Day four was all about watching each other wank. Well, until I asked the Fella for a helping hand cos I needed something in me. One orgasm, and also one very loud fart courtesy of an index finger being whipped out of my arse at warp speed.

Day 5
One sneaky orgasm in bed while the Fella slept beside me. Gotta love the silent but deadly Eroscillator. Still got caught, though, cos I conked out right after I came and it was still on the bed the next morning.

Day 6
I promised myself that #30DayOrgasmFun wouldn’t have me forcing myself to play if I wasn’t in the mood, but on day six I knew I couldn’t be bothered. Even so, I forced myself to pick a toy – the Super Soft Adam from Tantus – and half-heartedly fucked it. Then after five minutes I wholeheartedly fucked it and the orgasm was awesome. Surprisingly, I was still horny after I came but my knees were killing me and the Fella wasn’t home, so nothing came of it.

Day 7
Ugh, no. My level of disinterest was so severe yesterday I don’t think anyone could have tempted me into doing anything sexy. But I didn’t try to force myself to feel horny like I did on day six. I just had a long hot bubble bath and a few beers, then snored my head off on the couch until it was time for bed.

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So, how do I feel about #30DayOrgasmFun now?

Obviously, I’m a sex blogger who reviews sex toys, so everything I’ve mentioned above is in addition to my toy testing sessions. When I think about the way I forced myself to play on day six I feel uncomfortable. Rather than helping me reduce my stress levels and get back in touch with my body, this past week has shown me that I have a strange relationship with my own masturbation habits.

Day one was all about getting back to the bare bones of masturbation with just my fingers and my imagination to get the job done. Day six was about forcing myself to get the job done. And day seven was all about not being in the mood to even want to get the job done.

The fact that I consider masturbation a job to be doneย at all is where the oddness lies.

I hadn’t realised that I’d started to view self-pleasure as work. I don’t know if it’s because so many of my sessions are filled with noting down my thoughts about new toys and analysing my orgasms, or if it’s just because I wankย so much it’s lost its shine. Whatever it is, I think I have a bit of an unhealthy attitude toward masturbation and orgasm that isn’t good for me as a person or as a sex blogger.

The Fella suggested that maybe I need to separate my ‘work wanks’ from my ‘want to’ wanks, but I disagree. I think I need to find a way of making all of my wanks as fun and enjoyable as they used to be. So,ย I’m gonna use the rest of #30DayOrgasmFun month, as well as Masturbation May, to change how I play. If I’m not in the mood I won’t force it, even when I have toys to test. I’ll try to not always reach for a sex toy for ‘maintenance wanks’, and when I need to use a toy for review purposes I’ll try to let myself enjoy it a time or two before I start analysing it. I’m looking forward to seeing how that goes.


If you’re not up to speed on what #30DayOrgasmFun is, click the banner above and go check it out.

10 thoughts on “The Weekly Wank – #30DayOrgasmFun

    1. Whenever the Fella reads my stuff he puts his hand over his eyes and says, Jesus, Ella, did you have to share that?! I’m like, yes. Yes, I did ๐Ÿ˜‚

      1. I swear I laugh every-time, and in a good way. My imaginary reading voice for you is super sassy. You write how you think (And probably how you talk) and it’s endearing, and entertaining. Never change that please.

        1. Do you imagine it in a slightly high pitched Geordie accent? Cos I have one of those, lol. I pretty much do write the way I speak, except I use loads more swear words in person ๐Ÿ˜‚

    1. I think it’s important for sex bloggers to show folks that it isn’t all wonderful wanks and great sex, all day long, cos I know some of them think it is. I realised recently that I don’t have a great deal of ‘it went wrong’ or ‘it didn’t go to plan’ stuff on Scandarella, and I’m choosy with the toys I write about so I rarely have to publish a negative review. It does look like everything is always rosy and it isn’t, so I feel that it’s about time I started to write about that.x

  1. Just love your ‘report’ I start reading and stop mid way to remove my panties and masturbate thinking of you. So good.

  2. I could read your writing all day long. It is amusing and fun but with a serious core. Your descriptive powers and use of words are an absolute pleasure. You engage with the reader and so reading this has not been a chore in the slightest. Unlike some of my own wanks during #30DayOrgasmFun.

    1. That’s lovely of you to say, CP, thank you. I’ll have to have a good read through all the available 30Day posts to see how others (including you, if you have a post) are getting on.x

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