It’s here! My first year of joining in with #30DayOrgasmFun (read this post to find out what it’s all about if you haven’t already). I did see all the hoo-hah surrounding it last year but I didn’t have the stones to join in. Sounds daft, doesn’t it. A sex blogger too nervous to take part in an orgasm drive. The thing is, like everyone else in the community, I’m more than just a sex blogger. I’m mother to an ADHD/ASD kid. Wife to an ADHD adult. I’m a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, neighbour…enemy. I have a house to look after, pets to care for and entertain, and I also have work commitments to keep up with as well as books to write.
There are a lot of people and things that have a claim on my time and, too often, I just don’t have enough minutes left for me. I sacrifice reading time, movie time, TV time. I take quick showers instead of pickling in a red-hot bubble bath, something that’s long been one of my favourite pastimes. I even forgo orgasms that I want – need – to have because there’s too much other shit I gotta do.
Yeah, I review sex toys and I probably do have more than my fair share of orgasms. But believe me when I tell you that there is a massive difference between an orgasm I have to have and an orgasm that’s just because. An orgasm that’ll relax my body, clear my mind, and lower my stress levels. An orgasm I have because I wanted to have it.
That’s why I, anxiety queen of the North East of England, opted into this years #30DayOrgasmFun. I want to take some time for me, every single day for an entire month, where I can go about making myself feel good for the sake of it.
What I love about #30DayOrgasmFun is that it’s a no pressure deal. It isn’t a competition that a person can lose or a challenge that they can fail. It’s FUN. Super awesome fun where everything you do is done because you want to do it. If you decide you’re not up for it on any given day, give it a miss. If you just can’t get five minutes peace to crack one off, it’s no biggie. This is literally a case of you do you, and you do it as often – or not – as you damn well please in any way that works for you.
For my very first April orgasm, I decided to step away from the sex toys. It’s pretty much unheard of for me to wank with my fingers unless I’ve been instructed to do so. I mean, I can come easily enough just using my own digits but why would I want to? I have stuff that can get me off within minutes. Things that make me come so hard my thighs shake and I get killer cramps in my abdomen. One of those things is the Fella.
But I didn’t want a maintenance wank or an easy-come orgasm, and I didn’t want the Fella to be the one to make me come. I wanted to get back to basics. To touch myself. To feel my fingers on my dry cunt, to feel it getting wetter as I wandered through one of the many fantasies I have stashed away in my depraved little mind. I wanted to remember what my labia feel like, how big my clit gets when it swells, and – most importantly – I wanted to remember how it feels when my walls clamp around my fingers and know that I made it happen.
Guess how long it took me to come.
Ten minutes? Nope. Twenty? U-uh. It took me almost two frigging hours of, well, frigging, to reach orgasm using just my fingers. But it wasn’t because I couldn’t come. I didn’t put unnecessary pressure on myself to get to the finish line and cause a mental block that I couldn’t get around.
It took me so long because I was enjoying my bad self. I took my time. Made sure I touched every erogenous zone within my reach. I fantasised, stroked, flicked, and fingered until I had one helluva powerful orgasm. As I lay there, happy and floppy-limbed in a puddle of my own goo, I knew that I wouldn’t be doing a lot of finger dipping during #30DayOrgasmFun. Tomorrow, I’ll be back in the toy box, looking for stuff that does the job with killer efficiency. But I wanted to have an organic start to the month and I’m so glad I did, because it was definitely worth my time.
This post was sponsored post-publication by Gvibe.