Got balls? Wanna stretch ‘em? I asked the Fella those very two questions, in that order, and his replies were umm yes and fuck no respectively. Because he has the most sensitive bollocks known to man (seriously, look at them the wrong way and he weeps) he’s never been all that keen on letting anything too snappy near his stotts. But then I murmured these magic words, “So, we’re not gonna review the new Tantus Ball Stretchers, then?”
Do you know which three little words are guaranteed to pique the interest of wankers everywhere, myself included? Hands free pleasure. Well that is the tag line of Aneros, makers of hands free prostate massagers. Attention grabbing, isn’t it. When we were given the chance to review the Xbiz Award winning Helix Syn, there was no way were we saying no.
Even though I’ve only been reviewing sex toys for two and a half years, it seems to me that getting to try something completely new is a pretty rare occurrence. Dildos may be different shapes and sizes, and vibes might come in a host of different strengths and qualities, but they’re essentially just dildos and vibes.
Even strokers and masturbators are pretty much all the same in the sense that they’re something to stick your cock in while you or someone else strokes it.
I’ve wanted to watch the Fella use a Fleshlight forever. But whenever I mentioned getting one he would always put me off, telling me I was the only sex toy he needed. I was gutted, but then recently he changed his mind and agreed to use one purely so I could review it. The sacrifices that man makes for me *eye roll*.
Anyway, the fab folk at Latex, Leather and Lace – an amazing store that is heavy on the hot lingerie, hotter bondage gear and scorching sex toys – gave me the go ahead to choose a Fleshlight. It’s me we’re talking about here, so it was never gonna be a porn star. Our first had to be something from the Freaks range, and as Latex, Leather and Lace carry the gloriously blue Fleshlight Freaks Alien, that’s what I picked.
Every person on this earth has their vices. Be it smoking, drinking, or my own personal vice of nibbling on sweet things while I’m cooking meals, we all have something we do in excess that we know probably shouldn’t.
The Fella is no different to the rest of us, and his vice has long been gambling. Unlike his dad, he isn’t one to have just a flutter on the gee gees, though. No, he’s more of a table games man, and he’s rarely happier than when he’s in a casino, either standing by a roulette wheel or sitting around a poker table.