Vixen Creations Gee Whizzard

When it comes to non-fantasy silicone dildos, my trifecta of favourite brands is Tantus, Fun Factory, and Vixen Creations. Each one offers something different, whether it be size, shape, or simplicity. As a rule, it’s the ultra-realistic Vixskin I look for when checking out Vixen’s wares. I love that stuff so much, it’s the most realistic feeling silicone I’ve tried to date. But Vixskin isn’t all Vixen have to offer, though. They still make toys in their ‘original formula’ silicone, and that’s what this gorgeous Vixen Creations Gee Whizzard is made of.

I’ve wanted to get my hands on one of these bad boys for ages, so was past myself with excitement when the very lovely Carolyn from Betty’s Toy Box offered to send me one for review. See, I’m one of those less than sensible people who insert their Doxy into their vagina on occasion. I don’t endorse the practice cos it ain’t good for the wand and it’s only fun until you have to take it back out again, but I won’t lie and say it doesn’t feel incredible. Continue reading “Vixen Creations Gee Whizzard”

Mr Hankey’s BFG XL Dildo

The thing I adore most about fantasy dildos is how different one is from the next. Realistic dongs are much of a muchness, differing only when it comes to size, but fantasy ones? There’s pretty much no limit to their designs, and they’re available in almost any size that takes a person’s fancy. Just yesterday I reviewed a smallish, beautifully coloured dragon dildo. And today? Today I’m at the other end of the scale, reviewing the coal black behemoth that is the Mr Hankey’s BFG.

When I told the Fella I had a toy called the BFG on its way he rolled his eyes and said, “Big Friendly Giant?” I put my hands about two feet apart and replied, “Nope. Big Fucking Genital.” Ha, you should have seen his face. The sizes of the dildos I lust after now make him so nervous, poor lad. So much so he didn’t even want to look at the toys in my Mr Hankey’s package when it arrived. Continue reading “Mr Hankey’s BFG XL Dildo”

Bad Dragon Meng

Alert! Alert! This review contains images of what could possibly be the cutest dildo ever poured. In my opinion, of course. But once you get a close up look at the Bad Dragon Meng I reckon you’ll have to agree that it’s one of the finest dildo designs you’re ever likely to see. Cos it ain’t just a silicone dragon dick. No, sir, it’s a silicone dick that’s a dragon. Like, a head to tail, claws and all dragon. Bloody marvellous!

Am I gonna gush all the way through this review? Probably. See, I’m one of ‘those’ people. The ones who live 98% of their lives lost in some fantasy novel, movie, TV show or another. Fantasy and mythological creatures fascinate me, be they mermaids, unicorns, vamps, ghosts or ghoulies. But there’s a special place in my heart for dragons (and vamps and mermaids) and I fucking love that places like Bad Dragon exist cos their wares have allowed me to bring one of my favourite creatures into my bedroom. Continue reading “Bad Dragon Meng”

Vain Toys Mister Vain Dildo

If you’ve been around blogs, sex toy Twitter, or sex shop forums, you’ve probably been asked the following question; if you could only use one type of toy for the rest of your life, what would it be? I used to hesitate when faced with this query, but not now. Now I pretty much scream DILDOS then go on a panicked dildo buying spree. I love all kinds of dildos, but the best kind are the ones that are made especially for me. Colours, sizes, firmness, vac-u-lock holes, cumtubes, suction cups… It’s all customisable and bloody wonderful. The latest ‘made for me’ dildo to join my collection is the glorious Mister Vain Dildo by Vain Toys.

Vain Toys is a young, Denmark based company that makes lovely silicone dildos and butt plugs in a huge array of colours. Every step of the process, from sketching to pouring, is done in-house. While the shapes and sizes of each piece are non-negotiable, the rest is up to the customer. Once I’d made my choices, I had my dildo in my grabby hands within probably a week and a half. Speedy, and discreetly packaged, too. Continue reading “Vain Toys Mister Vain Dildo”

Blush Novelties Real Nude Ergo Mini

After I reviewed the Real Nude Suko by Blush Novelties way back when Scandarella was in its infancy, I vowed that I’d try another piece from the line someday. At the time, I hadn’t experienced anything quite as squishy or real feeling. Even now, with a bunch of super realistic Vixskin in my collection, I still have a soft spot for my Suko. That’s why, when Too Timid offered me the chance to review the Real Nude Ergo Mini, I couldn’t say no.

Real Nude is Blush Novelties’ dual density silicone line. Lovely, semi-realistic dildos with a firm core and a soft, pliable outer layer. The way the squishy stuff yields when squeezed, just for the hand (or orifice of your choice, of course) to meet the resistance of the inner core really does feel like squeezing an actual penis. Well, in my opinion, it does. It really does feel like skin being pressed into erectile tissue to me. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Real Nude Ergo Mini”

Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo

Last New Year’s Day, I reviewed a dildo that I had wanted since pussy was a kitten. It was big, bold, and beautiful and twelve months down the line my love for it is as strong as ever. Then November gone saw the arrival of another dildo that was large and in charge and I saw the potential for a new blog tradition. From now on around here January 1st will be known as Scandarella’s Big Dong Day. Here are my thoughts on the latest addition to my gallery of big dicks – the Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo.

As I have in another handful of reviews, I’m not gonna bother building up to the ‘but do I like it’ part. I mean, of course I like it. I fucking love it. The Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo is a magical bit of kit and it’s dominated the bedroom since the day it arrived. I shit you not, peeps, I literally cannot keep my orifices off it. Whenever I’ve settled down to test another dildo or a vibe I’ve only managed to stay on task until I reached a certain level of arousal. As soon as my body switched from working mode to wanking mode I’ve leapt from the bed and ripped the Unicorn Horn from the cupboard, slathered it in lube and sat my arse straight on it. Continue reading “Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo”

Valentine Wirly Girly 6 by Sh!

Of all the gorgeous silicone dildos available at Sh! Womenstore, the Valentine Wirly Girly 6 had long been the one I coveted most. The thing is, Sh! didn’t need any more reviews for that particular product, and I always found something to spend my money on that the adult in me deemed more important than sex toys. But… then Sh! changed the silicone they used in the Valentine to a more transparent one, and they finally said there was one available for me to review. Happy days!

Honest to God, I actually squeaked when I opened this one up. Nearly all Sh! dildos come packaged in a plain white box with a clear panel that lets you see what you’re getting from the off.  I basically chewed my way in there to get at this glorious dong. Continue reading “Valentine Wirly Girly 6 by Sh!”

Loving Joy Universal Harness & Dildo

Every so often, Sex Toys UK adds another string to the bow that is their Loving Joy range of sex toys and bondage gear. So far, we’ve seen a bullet that gets to sit at the head table with the We-Vibe Tango, a flexi vibrator that’s more versatile than waffles, and a whole host of anal plugs with gems and bushy tails. The latest of the range to pass through the doors of the Scandal household is the Loving Joy Universal Harness & Dildo Combo.

When I was offered the chance to review these two products (which are currently sold separately but may be available as a bundle soon) I was a little hesitant. I’m not a small woman, and I expressed concerns that the harness might not fit my size 24 (UK) body. But the lovely Louise from STUK explained that, when sourcing a harness for the Loving Joy range, it was crucial that one be found which catered to a wide range of sizes, including my size and beyond. Continue reading “Loving Joy Universal Harness & Dildo”

Fleshlight Freaks Drac Silicone Dildo

Cunt Dickula. Vlad the Impale-her. Vampeen. Nobferatu. Yeah, the Fleshlight Freaks Drac Dildo is a dream come true for not just me but also for the pun-loving whackjob that is the Fella. Getting to review it has been one of the most exciting things that’s happened in Scandarella Land this year, and I’ll tell you why…

Like many people, I’m a huge fan of the vampire. The first book I ever bought for myself was Bram Stoker’s Dracula, when I was twelve-ish. By the time I hit fourteen I was going to see vampire movies on my own. Scary vamps always frightened the shit out of me when I was younger, but once I realised that the beautiful, tragic, yet still deadly vampire was a thing, I found my first true love. Continue reading “Fleshlight Freaks Drac Silicone Dildo”

Bad Dragon Kelvin Silicone Dildo

Unless you work for either a sex toy manufacturer or store, it’s unlikely you’ve read my info page. On that page are all the terms and conditions of working with me. One of my self-imposed rules is that any individual product sent to me will be reviewed within six weeks of delivery. If more than one product is sent, there’ll be up to four weeks between reviews. Nine times out of ten I stick to this rule, but as with everything, there are exceptions. This is the case with the Bad Dragon Kelvin.

No, this sucker is well outside of my review window after being with me since…wait for it…March. It arrived at the same time as my beloved Bad Dragon Tentacle. That dildo took me long enough to review, but when it comes to Kelvin, it’s taken me seven frigging months to get myself in a place where I feel like I have the right to talk about this magnificent beast. Continue reading “Bad Dragon Kelvin Silicone Dildo”