Vain Toys Mister Vain Dildo

If you’ve been around blogs, sex toy Twitter, or sex shop forums, you’ve probably been asked the following question; if you could only use one type of toy for the rest of your life, what would it be? I used to hesitate when faced with this query, but not now. Now I pretty much scream DILDOS then go on a panicked dildo buying spree. I love all kinds of dildos, but the best kind are the ones that are made especially for me. Colours, sizes, firmness, vac-u-lock holes, cumtubes, suction cups… It’s all customisable and bloody wonderful. The latest ‘made for me’ dildo to join my collection is the glorious Mister Vain Dildo by Vain Toys.

Vain Toys is a young, Denmark based company that makes lovely silicone dildos and butt plugs in a huge array of colours. Every step of the process, from sketching to pouring, is done in-house. While the shapes and sizes of each piece are non-negotiable, the rest is up to the customer. Once I’d made my choices, I had my dildo in my grabby hands within probably a week and a half. Speedy, and discreetly packaged, too. Continue reading “Vain Toys Mister Vain Dildo”

Blush Novelties Real Nude Ergo Mini

After I reviewed the Real Nude Suko by Blush Novelties way back when Scandarella was in its infancy, I vowed that I’d try another piece from the line someday. At the time, I hadn’t experienced anything quite as squishy or real feeling. Even now, with a bunch of super realistic Vixskin in my collection, I still have a soft spot for my Suko. That’s why, when Too Timid offered me the chance to review the Real Nude Ergo Mini, I couldn’t say no.

Real Nude is Blush Novelties’ dual density silicone line. Lovely, semi-realistic dildos with a firm core and a soft, pliable outer layer. The way the squishy stuff yields when squeezed, just for the hand (or orifice of your choice, of course) to meet the resistance of the inner core really does feel like squeezing an actual penis. Well, in my opinion, it does. It really does feel like skin being pressed into erectile tissue to me. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Real Nude Ergo Mini”

Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo

Last New Year’s Day, I reviewed a dildo that I had wanted since pussy was a kitten. It was big, bold, and beautiful and twelve months down the line my love for it is as strong as ever. Then November gone saw the arrival of another dildo that was large and in charge and I saw the potential for a new blog tradition. From now on around here January 1st will be known as Scandarella’s Big Dong Day. Here are my thoughts on the latest addition to my gallery of big dicks – the Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo.

As I have in another handful of reviews, I’m not gonna bother building up to the ‘but do I like it’ part. I mean, of course I like it. I fucking love it. The Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo is a magical bit of kit and it’s dominated the bedroom since the day it arrived. I shit you not, peeps, I literally cannot keep my orifices off it. Whenever I’ve settled down to test another dildo or a vibe I’ve only managed to stay on task until I reached a certain level of arousal. As soon as my body switched from working mode to wanking mode I’ve leapt from the bed and ripped the Unicorn Horn from the cupboard, slathered it in lube and sat my arse straight on it. Continue reading “Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo”

Valentine Wirly Girly 6 by Sh!

Of all the gorgeous silicone dildos available at Sh! Womenstore, the Valentine Wirly Girly 6 had long been the one I coveted most. The thing is, Sh! didn’t need any more reviews for that particular product, and I always found something to spend my money on that the adult in me deemed more important than sex toys. But… then Sh! changed the silicone they used in the Valentine to a more transparent one, and they finally said there was one available for me to review. Happy days!

Honest to God, I actually squeaked when I opened this one up. Nearly all Sh! dildos come packaged in a plain white box with a clear panel that lets you see what you’re getting from the off.  I basically chewed my way in there to get at this glorious dong. Continue reading “Valentine Wirly Girly 6 by Sh!”

Loving Joy Universal Harness & Dildo

Every so often, Sex Toys UK adds another string to the bow that is their Loving Joy range of sex toys and bondage gear. So far, we’ve seen a bullet that gets to sit at the head table with the We-Vibe Tango, a flexi vibrator that’s more versatile than waffles, and a whole host of anal plugs with gems and bushy tails. The latest of the range to pass through the doors of the Scandal household is the Loving Joy Universal Harness & Dildo Combo.

When I was offered the chance to review these two products (which are currently sold separately but may be available as a bundle soon) I was a little hesitant. I’m not a small woman, and I expressed concerns that the harness might not fit my size 24 (UK) body. But the lovely Louise from STUK explained that, when sourcing a harness for the Loving Joy range, it was crucial that one be found which catered to a wide range of sizes, including my size and beyond. Continue reading “Loving Joy Universal Harness & Dildo”

Fleshlight Freaks Drac Silicone Dildo

Cunt Dickula. Vlad the Impale-her. Vampeen. Nobferatu. Yeah, the Fleshlight Freaks Drac Dildo is a dream come true for not just me but also for the pun-loving whackjob that is the Fella. Getting to review it has been one of the most exciting things that’s happened in Scandarella Land this year, and I’ll tell you why…

Like many people, I’m a huge fan of the vampire. The first book I ever bought for myself was Bram Stoker’s Dracula, when I was twelve-ish. By the time I hit fourteen I was going to see vampire movies on my own. Scary vamps always frightened the shit out of me when I was younger, but once I realised that the beautiful, tragic, yet still deadly vampire was a thing, I found my first true love. Continue reading “Fleshlight Freaks Drac Silicone Dildo”

My Fucsia Pop Skull Porcelain Dildo

In less than fourteen weeks’ time, Scandarella will be celebrating its 2nd Blogiversary. Yep, I’ve been at this for almost two years, and do you know what? I’m still discovering products that I never knew existed, some of which make me piss my pants with laughter and others that soak my drawers for a different reason altogether. One product in the latter category is the My Fucsia Pop Skull Porcelain Dildo.

My Fucsia is a maker of ceramic sex toys, situated in the Umbria region of Italy. Their products are the brainchild of designer, Emanuele Pangrazi, who has a vision of breaking sex taboos by creating a range of pleasure objects that can be placed on display as vaguely erotic ornamental pieces. Continue reading “My Fucsia Pop Skull Porcelain Dildo”

Bad Dragon Kelvin Silicone Dildo

Unless you work for either a sex toy manufacturer or store, it’s unlikely you’ve read my info page. On that page are all the terms and conditions of working with me. One of my self-imposed rules is that any individual product sent to me will be reviewed within six weeks of delivery. If more than one product is sent, there’ll be up to four weeks between reviews. Nine times out of ten I stick to this rule, but as with everything, there are exceptions. This is the case with the Bad Dragon Kelvin.

No, this sucker is well outside of my review window after being with me since…wait for it…March. It arrived at the same time as my beloved Bad Dragon Tentacle. That dildo took me long enough to review, but when it comes to Kelvin, it’s taken me seven frigging months to get myself in a place where I feel like I have the right to talk about this magnificent beast. Continue reading “Bad Dragon Kelvin Silicone Dildo”

Dodil Mouldable Dildo

When I headed for the bedroom with the kettle (and its base) three tea towels, a glass chopping board and a rolling pin, my kid looked at me like I was having an episode. He was like, ‘are you doing some Frankenstein thing up there’ and the Fella told him, ‘she’s not scientifically minded, son…she’ll be doing voodoo’. And, he was kinda right. I was doing sex toy voodoo, and I was doing it with the awesome invention that is the Dodil Mouldable Dildo.

This thing fascinated me from the moment I first visited the Dodil website. Never have I seen a product that held so much potential to be either absolutely fantastic or utterly disastrous. I expressed my interest and was sent a review sample straight away. Such excite! Continue reading “Dodil Mouldable Dildo”

Tantus Curve & Curve Super Soft

One of the most fun parts of the reviewing side of Scandarella has always been cultivating my lust list. Even before I started blogging, I had a healthy (okay, ridiculously long) list of sex toys I wanted to get my paws on. I thought that, after the blog happened, the list would gradually shrink, but nope. It’s probably twice as long as it ever was. One thing that’s been on it forever is the Tantus Curve, so when the lovely Bonnie at Luxury Vibrators asked me to review not just that but also the new Tantus Curve Super Soft, I enthusiastically screamed, “I’ll do it!”

So, the Curves. Sexy, sexy dildos that are ideal for solo play, partner play, and – more than anything else – pegging. Yep, these dildos are a fantastic size for the butt shy who, though they want to indulge in a bit of harness action, aren’t keen on anything too intimidating. Continue reading “Tantus Curve & Curve Super Soft”