Rocks Off Vortex

I love putting stuff up my butt. It’s a cold, hard fact that the orgasms I get via anal penetration are always stronger than any vaginal based climax I have. If you pop into Scandarella often you’ll probably know that I adore big and implausible toys for anal. It probably seems like I spend all my days straddling stuff the size of traffic cones. I don’t, though. Just as it is with dildos, I sometimes need a smaller, less challenging toy, and one such product that came to me in recent months is the Rocks Off Vortex.

Now, I’m not the biggest Rocks Off fan in the world. Don’t get me wrong, I think their stuff is always gorgeous, always well designed, and always well executed. And I had a passionate love affair with their bullets back when my mild interest in sex toys first morphed into an obsession. But with time their vibes became less effective for me, so now they’re pretty much exclusively for the Fella’s use, with exceptions, of course. The Vortex is one of those exceptions. Continue reading “Rocks Off Vortex”

Pink BOB Bumpy Betty Tongue Vibrator

As a rule, I try to avoid vibrators that I know are gonna be buzzy. They aggravate me. I get itchy, or desensitised, or just plain irritated by the way they don’t work for me. But sometimes, even though I can feel in my bones that I’ll have no love for the vibes, a shape or texture will catch my eye and I’ll feel compelled to give whatever toy it is a shot. That’s how I got my paws on the Pink BOB Bumpy Betty Tongue Vibrator.

Firstly, I’m gonna have a whine about the brand name, cos the gendering is strong with this one. As y’all probably know, B.O.B stands for battery operated boyfriend, so this brand – and its website – is called Pink Battery-Operated Boyfriend. To me, it gives the impression that all women love pink, and ‘boyfriend’ suggests that they get attached to their vibrators in some kind of emotional/romantic capacity. Cheesy and patronising with a side of insulting, no? Okay, okay, I know that some folks will love the fuck right out of it, but it makes me want to hurl. Continue reading “Pink BOB Bumpy Betty Tongue Vibrator”

Rocks Off Ohh! Moji RO-90 Bullet Vibrator

Something that’s consistently weird to me is the fact that the Fella has favourite sex toy brands. Before I started blogging his interest in them only went so far as how they worked for me. He had a box of a few bits that he liked to share with me, but none of it was really his. Not even the strokers, they were for my hands and eyes rather than his pleasure. But now there are a few brands that he takes a keen interest in, and one of them is Rocks Off. So we have an agreement. He chooses the product and I choose the style. And that’s why a guy who doesn’t really get the point of emojis has the Rocks Off Ohh! Moji RO-90 Bullet Vibrator in his collection.

Just like most of Rocks Off’s other bullets, the Ohh! Moji is made of solid, super shiny ABS plastic. The number in its name denotes the length of the bullet, in this case, 90mm. A shade over 3.5”. At just 2.25” in girth, it’s pretty much the size of an index finger. Continue reading “Rocks Off Ohh! Moji RO-90 Bullet Vibrator”

Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Vibrator

Happy Earth Day, folks! I really should have brought you this review before now, but I couldn’t resist hanging on until Earth Day. Why? Because the Blush Novelties Gaia Eco – named after the primordial Greek ‘Mother Earth’ goddess – is (as far as I know) the world’s first biodegradable vibrator.

It’s made of BioFeel – which according to the packaging is “a starch-based bioplastic, a polymer compound material mixed with corn starch.” I’ve had cups made of this stuff before, and pet bowls and one dinner tray. But the Gaia is the first sex toy I’ve ever seen made from this material. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Vibrator”

Pipedream PDX Elite Vibrating Roto-Sucker

Every now and again, a sex toy will catch my eye and I’ll think, that looks awesome! Then I’ll have a read up on what it’s all about and I’ll think, yep, just as I thought; sounds awesome. So I’ll arrange to review it, get my paws on it, and probably eight times out of ten I’ll be like, I was right, this thing is awesome! But those other two times out of ten? Not so awesome. From the moment I opened the box for this Pipedream Extreme PDX Vibrating Roto-Sucker I was an unhappy Ella.

Okay, okay. I know there’ll be a few eyebrows raised as if to say, well what did you expect from Pipedream? I know they’re not the best, or even nearly the best company in the world, but I keep thinking, Icicles. Ceramix. Pure Aluminium. Those are all Pipedream brands and I love each and every one of them. I’d really hoped that I’d found another line of theirs that I, or rather that the Fella, could love. Continue reading “Pipedream PDX Elite Vibrating Roto-Sucker”

Rocks Off Unihorn Stardust Vibrator

When I first spotted in a trade magazine that Rocks Off was releasing some new products I nearly stroked out. I fell instantly in love with the Unihorn Stardust Vibrator and wanted to get my hands on one so badly. Happily, Rocks Off got in touch about reviews and to my everlasting joy, one of the available products was the Unihorn. I had a bit of a struggle in my head cos the Joycicles (one of which is up for grabs in my Christmas Giveaway!) vibes are the same shape but with a Christmassy design, but the one I originally fell for won the day.

Something I love about Rocks Off is their packaging. It’s black with gold accents, a window so you can see exactly what you’re getting. On the back I’m informed that the toy is waterproof, battery powered (one AAA which is included) and has ten settings. There’s also a reminder on there to register the 12-month guarantee, the activation code for which is inside of the box behind a removable double panel. If you take that panel out you’ll find instructions and info on the reverse. Continue reading “Rocks Off Unihorn Stardust Vibrator”

Red Minx Vibrator by Shiri Zinn

I’ve been such a lucky duck, recently. Some gorgeous sex toys have passed through the doors of the Scandarella household, one of the most recent being the i-Scream ice cream cone vibrator. I love everything about that darling little thing, and now I’m getting to talk about another product from the mind of the same person who designed it. Let me introduce you to the Red Minx Vibrator by Shiri Zinn.

From the moment I ripped the tape off the outer box and saw what was lying in wait among the packing paper, I was smitten. The packaging for this thing is next level stuff. You folks know I’m a self-confessed packaging whore, and the box the Red Minx comes in delights me. Some toys come with pretty paperboard cartons, some with plastic cases. But the Red Minx? This baby comes in a satin lined, faux snake print covered, hand-crafted box. Scarlet and blood red, sturdy, and with a silver clasp to keep it closed. Gorgeous! Continue reading “Red Minx Vibrator by Shiri Zinn”

Teddy Love Vibrating Bear

There are some things in the world of Scandarella that are kinda givens. Awesome products. Shitty products. So mediocre I fell asleep while using them products. Products I love, ones I hate, and others that the Fella and I argue over because of our vastly different tastes and opinions. All of that I expect on a day to day basis, but one thing happened to me recently that I would never have expected in a million years. The thing that happened, is the Teddy Love Vibrating Bear.

Yep, if a fortune teller had looked into a crystal ball this time last year and told me they’d seen me riding the face off a teddy bear, sweaty, grunting, and in hot pursuit of an orgasm, I’d have said, “No, no-no-no-no, I stopped humping teddy bears as soon as I started humping humans.” Continue reading “Teddy Love Vibrating Bear”

Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator

In a recent conversation about Scandarella, one of the few friends I’ve actually told about it said, “Your site looks great, but how come nearly all the stuff you write about is dead expensive?” I could have told her it’s because they’re all made from body safe materials by reputable companies, but that sounded like bullshit even to me. You can get perfectly good silicone or glass or ABS toys these days for very little money. Luckily, I knew I had a lovely little vibe waiting in the wings for review, so I told her about the Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator.

I’m usually one to balk at battery operated toys. You can tell me I’ve been ruined by rechargeables all you like, the fact remains that, not only are batteries expensive and bad for the environment, but the vibes they put out are nearly always shite. Continue reading “Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator”

So Divine Vibrating Bullets

I come, at long last, to the bottom of the box that was my review package for So Divine UK. It’s been a pleasure getting to know all of their products, from the adorable silicone sleeved Je T’Aime to the double ended Wicked Game Wand. Now it’s time for me to tell you about the So Divine Vibrating Bullets.

SO DIVINE VIBRATING BULLETS PACKAGING

Something that I find unusual about So Divine’s product range is that different colours of the same product come with different names. The Wicked Game, for example, is purple, while the pink version is called Sweetest Taboo. In the same vein, their bullets come in four colours; red (Thinkin’ ‘Bout You), pink (French Kiss), silver (Need You Tonight) and rose gold (Halo). Continue reading “So Divine Vibrating Bullets”