Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse Remote

Do you have a penis? Do you enjoy using sex toys on that penis? If yes, odds are you’ll have heard of Hot Octopuss. The brand that brought the original Guybrator to the world, and the love it or hate it rechargeable ‘wand’, the Queen Bee. Not satisfied with a handful of best selling products in their range, Hot Octopuss have been adding more penis treats to their catalogue. A cool looking cock ring and this, the Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse Remote.

The Guybrator, or PULSE III DUO, is a big hit in Scandarella house. Not many toys make it into the Fella’s drawers unless I stash them there, but his PULSE is top drawer material in his opinion. It’s always in there and it’s always charged and ready for action. Still, I think I was a wee bit more excited than he was when the Pocket Pulse arrived for review. Continue reading “Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse Remote”

Hand Pilot Recreational Pilot Subscription Box

It feels like years since I last reviewed a sex toy subscription. The last one was the Unbound Box and that was all the way back in May. I guess the Erotic Advent Calendar I ploughed through in December was kinda similar but that was mostly a lucky dip of products. When I think ‘subscription box’ I imagine a curated selection of quality products that you can have delivered to your door on a regular basis. One such selection is the Hand Pilot Recreational Pilot Box.

Firstly, I love the name of this shop. I love the design of their site. But most of all, I love Hand Pilot’s genuinely unique, unique selling point; their subscription is almost entirely targeted at our bepenised brethren. Vulvacentric subscriptions and ‘couples’ boxes are relatively easy to find but you’d be hard pushed to find another company that offers boxes of treats picked out to pamper the old penis.

Even then, those ‘couples’ boxes are often aimed at heterosexual couples and are mostly geared toward pleasing the pussy with a cock ring chucked in as an afterthought. The idea seems to be that getting to fuck at some stage in proceedings is treat enough for the todger. Continue reading “Hand Pilot Recreational Pilot Subscription Box”

B-Vibe Rimming Butt Plug

Do you wanna know what one of my hard limits is? Rimming. I can give it (while pulling a face like I’m sucking a lemon) but I cannot take it. Seriously, if the Fella’s tongue gets too close to my pucker I climb the wall backwards to get away from him. It’s not the sensation I dislike, though. I just can’t accept a tongue up or on my arse, it just ain’t happening. However, if it ain’t poking out of a mouth I’m definitely game. That’s why I opted to review the B-Vibe Rimming Butt Plug when MEO asked what I fancied.

Obviously, I had no expectations that it would feel anything like actual rimming. I still remember my first rabbit vibe. Noisy and a bit little bit like running a cheese grater over my pubic bone at certain angles. I kinda expected the same thing from this plug, but I still wanted to give it a go. How could I resist the thought of a remote-controlled spin dryer causing a ruckus in my tuchus? Continue reading “B-Vibe Rimming Butt Plug”

Sistalk Master Godzilla Love Egg

Have you heard of a company called Sistalk? Neither had I until they contacted me last year and asked me if I’d like to review one of their love egg/kegel trainers. I admit, I almost said no, but in the end, I decided to go for it. In recent weeks I’ve seen loads of reviews popping up for them and not reading any of them has been a killer. But, as always, I wanted to come to my own conclusions, so here’s what I think of the Sistalk Monster Pub Master Godzilla.

Before I say anything about it I want to invite y’all to scream with me. How cute is this lil’ dude?

I don’t know if it was a blogger promotion or if it’s something Sistalk do with all orders of their stuff, but I was sent a plushie Master Godzilla with my love egg. If there’s ever gonna be a way of getting on my good side, sending me merch would be it! Continue reading “Sistalk Master Godzilla Love Egg”

LELO SONA Cruise Sonic Clitoral Massager

Well, it’s happened. The sex toy world has gone clit sucking crazy. Not only are Womanizer and Satisfyer duking it out with new release tripping over new release, but other companies are throwing their versions into the ring, too. Some of them are truly terrifying, as you’ll see if you read Dangerous Lilly’s public service announcement/review of the supremely unsafe HIKY. But then there are those that are making positive waves everywhere, even among those who long ago picked their side in the Womanizer/Satisfyer standoff. One such company is LELO. They’ve joined the sucking simulation race with two versions of their newest toy, the LELO SONA.

Those two versions are the basic SONA and the premium variant, the SONA Cruise (the differences between which I’ll get to in a wee bit). Luxury Vibrators know that I’m a huge fan of this type of stimulation and I was delighted when they offered to send me Cruise. Continue reading “LELO SONA Cruise Sonic Clitoral Massager”

So Divine Wild Thing Booty Plug

While I was at Eroticon last year I received an email. It was from a company called So Divine and they were asking me if I’d like to review for them. I’d never heard of them until that day when I spied a display at the conference, but I said I’d love to. They sent me one of everything in their line-up, which at the time was five products. Fast forward almost a year and that company I’d never heard of has their name up in lights. They’ve added more vibes to their repertoire, and also a range of different sized anal toys. After reviewing the smallest member of the Booty Plug family, I was sent the largest. It’s called the So Divine Wild Thing Booty Plug and here are my thoughts.

Like all So Divine products, the Wild Thing is made of silicone. Soft, silky silicone that comes in one of their two signature colours, purple. The other colour they have an abundance of is pink. Just like the itty-bitty version, the plug is completely smooth. There are no seams, no flaws, no nothing. Everything about it is quality and it’s definitely got longevity, so when you consider that it’s only £20-ish you gotta agree that it’s a bargain. Continue reading “So Divine Wild Thing Booty Plug”

Rocks Off Lust Linx Ball & Chain

When it comes to solo masturbation I have a new favourite thing. It’s a simple thing, really. Something I’ve done a handful of times in the past but for some reason, it’s recently become one of the most satisfying ways I play. Long story short, I’ve had some punch-packing orgasms from getting a vibrating love egg wedged all up in me and then inserting a dildo. It probably goes without saying that the success of this set-up is entirely dependent on the quality of the love egg. Some are fab, some not so much. One of the products I’ve tried this with recently is the Rocks Off Lust Linx Ball & Chain. Did it triumph or did it tank? Read on to find out.

When MEO said they were sending me the Ball & Chain for review I was kinda ridiculously happy. I’ve made no secret about the fact that, in general, Rocks Off vibes don’t do much for me these days (with exception of the Unihorn) so the fact that I couldn’t wait to give this offering a try was peculiar. Continue reading “Rocks Off Lust Linx Ball & Chain”

Noje Pleasure Wand Heads

If you’ve been popping in and out of Scandarella for a while – say seven months or so – you may remember the time I discovered a range of mini wands that (to me and the Fella) were powerful enough to make the We-Vibe Tango glance nervously at its championship belt and sweat. Well, the Noje W2 & W3 are still mis amores, but their makers, Blush Novelties, weren’t satisfied with just putting out a bunch of brilliant dinky wands. Nope, they upped the ante and created a duo of attachments that transform these toys. Let me tell y’all about the Noje Pleasure Wand Heads.

When I heard about these heads from Blush Novelties’ resident badass, Ducky Doolittle, I was super excited. I loved the Noje line anyway, but the idea of interchangeable heads really got my motor running. Even as I was thanking Ducky for arranging for Peepshow Toys to send me a set, my mind was all over the prospect of laser accurate clit contact, nuzzlin’ double prongs and turbocharged tongue like flickers – all with the power of my beloved Noje behind it. Continue reading “Noje Pleasure Wand Heads”

Womanizer Special Edition Delight Box

Do y’all want to know what I did when I read that Womanizer had released another mini model? I glanced at my massive lipstick shaped Womanizer 2 Go and laughed. I wanted so much to see if the miniature clit nuzzler was, in actual fact, miniature and after a brief chat with the ever-lovely Sandra at Orion Versand I had one on the way. What I found in the box on delivery day put a massive smile on my face. No, it wasn’t one of mirth it was one of delight. Quite apt, really, seeing as though I’d been sent the lovely collection that is the Womanizer Special Edition Delight Box.

The presentation of this collection is first rate. A subtly branded silver sleeve over an equally subtle white gift box. Inside, beneath a glossy printed sheet outlining the contents of the box, there’s a grey foam block, and tucked into little cut outs in that block I found not just a boxed Womanizer Starlet, but also a boxed Sweet Smile Vibrator, a bottle of Just Glide Medical Lubricant, and a bottle of Just Glide 2 in 1 Toy & Body Cleaner. Continue reading “Womanizer Special Edition Delight Box”

Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo

Last New Year’s Day, I reviewed a dildo that I had wanted since pussy was a kitten. It was big, bold, and beautiful and twelve months down the line my love for it is as strong as ever. Then November gone saw the arrival of another dildo that was large and in charge and I saw the potential for a new blog tradition. From now on around here January 1st will be known as Scandarella’s Big Dong Day. Here are my thoughts on the latest addition to my gallery of big dicks – the Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo.

As I have in another handful of reviews, I’m not gonna bother building up to the ‘but do I like it’ part. I mean, of course I like it. I fucking love it. The Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo is a magical bit of kit and it’s dominated the bedroom since the day it arrived. I shit you not, peeps, I literally cannot keep my orifices off it. Whenever I’ve settled down to test another dildo or a vibe I’ve only managed to stay on task until I reached a certain level of arousal. As soon as my body switched from working mode to wanking mode I’ve leapt from the bed and ripped the Unicorn Horn from the cupboard, slathered it in lube and sat my arse straight on it. Continue reading “Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo”