Tenga Egg Six Pack

This review has been four months in the making, folks. Four months of trying to get the Fella to drop his drawers so that I could get to work on his cock with one of the cute little masturbators from this Tenga Egg 6 Pack.

Don’t get me wrong, the boxers came down easily enough. But before I could say which texture do you want, he’d whipped the Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo out and declared it the toy of the day. He’s a spoiled brat when it comes to that thing, and I’m a sucker, so I reviewed the other things MEO had sent me instead. Well, it’s high time I got to telling y’all about these fab little eggs, so here goes… Continue reading “Tenga Egg Six Pack”

SKY Alto by AVE

Here’s a thing that didn’t occur to me until very recently: what if I wanted the luxury of a high-end vibrator, but disliked powerful, rumbly vibes? Nearly all fancy pants sex toys come with words like ‘powerful’ and ‘rumbly’ splashed over their product pages and packaging. That’s great for me, cos powerful and rumbly vibes are the best as far as I’m concerned. But what about those folks whose clits and bits recoil at the thought of thunderclaps on their genitals? How do they get their luxury with a side of gentle? Well, they could check out the Sky Alto by AVE.

Nine times out of ten, if I consider a sex toy to be beautiful, it’s a dildo. Vibrators can be fancy, sure, but I most often feel that they’re built for function rather than form. And rightfully so, a pretty vibrator would be pretty pointless if it didn’t deliver. Continue reading “SKY Alto by AVE”

Teddy Love Heart-Shaped Butt Plug

Yesterday I offered you my thoughts on the Teddy Love Vibrating Bear. They weren’t the most positive of thoughts, and that’s understandable because it isn’t the best of products. In fact, it could well be the worst. Today, it’s the turn of the Teddy Love Heart-Shaped Butt Plug, and yes, my thoughts on this toy are just as grim.

This plug came to me along with the bear. It wasn’t bubble wrapped, nor was it wrapped in paper. I found it rattling around the feet of the bear in a little (open) Ziploc bag.

Anyway, when I’d spotted the plug on Teddy Love Toys’ website, I’d fallen for it hard. Stainless steel, rosebud bulb, and a heart-shaped base finished with a gorgeous caramel coloured glass gem. I do have a heart-based plug already, but the colour of this one was irresistible. Continue reading “Teddy Love Heart-Shaped Butt Plug”

Teddy Love Vibrating Bear

There are some things in the world of Scandarella that are kinda givens. Awesome products. Shitty products. So mediocre I fell asleep while using them products. Products I love, ones I hate, and others that the Fella and I argue over because of our vastly different tastes and opinions. All of that I expect on a day to day basis, but one thing happened to me recently that I would never have expected in a million years. The thing that happened, is the Teddy Love Vibrating Bear.

Yep, if a fortune teller had looked into a crystal ball this time last year and told me they’d seen me riding the face off a teddy bear, sweaty, grunting, and in hot pursuit of an orgasm, I’d have said, “No, no-no-no-no, I stopped humping teddy bears as soon as I started humping humans.” Continue reading “Teddy Love Vibrating Bear”

FT London Gpop P-Spot & G-Spot Massager

You may have noticed by now, that the Fella is fond of anal play. Be it my butt or his, he’s always game for a spot of the bot. But, he’s not over keen on anything too long or too girthy and I don’t think he ever will be. I’m constantly on the lookout for toys that let me stick it to the man without making his eyes water, and a recent one to join the ranks of stuff he’ll have in him, is the FT London Gpop.

Arriving in FT London’s patriotic, tubular packaging, the Gpop is the second smallest vibrating butt toy we have, after the We-Vibe Ditto. From the tip of the p-spotting bulb to the base of the solid ring handle, it measures up at 5-inches. Its maximum girth is a very petite 3.5-inches. See, a super small anal insertable, suitable for the most inexperienced of butts! Continue reading “FT London Gpop P-Spot & G-Spot Massager”

Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator

In a recent conversation about Scandarella, one of the few friends I’ve actually told about it said, “Your site looks great, but how come nearly all the stuff you write about is dead expensive?” I could have told her it’s because they’re all made from body safe materials by reputable companies, but that sounded like bullshit even to me. You can get perfectly good silicone or glass or ABS toys these days for very little money. Luckily, I knew I had a lovely little vibe waiting in the wings for review, so I told her about the Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator.

I’m usually one to balk at battery operated toys. You can tell me I’ve been ruined by rechargeables all you like, the fact remains that, not only are batteries expensive and bad for the environment, but the vibes they put out are nearly always shite. Continue reading “Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator”

We-Vibe Unite Partner Vibrator

When people think of brands like We-Vibe, they often think in terms of cost. Understandably so, given that it’s one of the most popular mainstream luxury brands out there. Well, that’s all changing. Not the luxe status, but the price point. Like some other brands, We-Vibe have started looking into introductory models. And this, the We-Vibe Unite is one such product.

Before I tell you about it, I’ll tell you a little about the folk who sent it to me: Luxury Vibrators. Spurred on by their need to stay home with their children, Canadian besties – Bonnie & Stacie – decided to launch their very own online store. Carrying nothing but the best the sex toy market has to offer, they’ve been shipping their wares mostly throughout Canada and the United States since 2015. In a recent review package from them which saw me rolling on my bed in a glut of gorgeous toys, I found the We-Vibe Unite. So, let’s get to talking about that, shall we… Continue reading “We-Vibe Unite Partner Vibrator”

MysteryVibe Crescendo Follow Up Mini Review

I’m sure you can all remember the recent guest review the lovely Just Jess Reviews did of the MysteryVibe Crescendo, right here at Scandarella. She wasn’t impressed at all, not unlike many other reviewers out there. Right after that review went live, MysteryVibe told me that they’d been listening to the feedback they were receiving, and they offered Jess a chance to review the new improved Crescendo. Well, this is her mini review! Did MysteryVibe really make improvements, or did they just do a few ineffectual tweaks? Check out what Jess has to say to find out!

I was super excited when MysteryVibe reached out after reading my guest review on Scandarella. My wish had come true, they had listened to bloggers’ and reviewers’ feedback and created the Crescendo 2.0 – New motors! Continue reading “MysteryVibe Crescendo Follow Up Mini Review”

Le Wand Rechargeable Cordless Massager

Okay, I’m gonna get the obvious out of the way before I go any further. If the mighty Doxy and the Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable had an illicit love affair with loads of dirty, unprotected wand sex, the resulting lovechild would undoubtedly be the Le Wand Rechargeable Cordless Massager.

I know it’s been discussed, at length, with passion (and not a small amount bitterness) on social media. You can probably see why just by looking at it. I can see why just by looking at it. The similarity to those two market leading wands is unmistakable. Continue reading “Le Wand Rechargeable Cordless Massager”

Fun Factory Amorino Mini Vibrator

If anyone asked me what my favourite sex toy brand of all time is, I’d throw my arms out and yodel, “Fun Factory!”. I love getting packages delivered, but there’s an extra air of excitement about it when I know there’s something from that brand inside. I’m not ashamed to admit that, when the Fun Factory Amorino Mini Vibrator arrived, I did a little dance. But not for the reason you’d expect. The reason was, it’s the first product of theirs where I’ve looked at it and thought, what the fuck’s this about, then?

Yep, the Amorino isn’t your everyday mini rabbit. It’s got a little something extra, and I knew it had the potential to be either mind-warpingly good or completely and utterly shite. Continue reading “Fun Factory Amorino Mini Vibrator”