Hot Octopuss ATOM

If there’s one sex toy that’s seriously underused at Scandarella House it would be the vibrating cock ring. Call me selfish, but I rarely get anything from them, so I think, what’s the point? Not cool, really, given that the Fella really likes them. But when one of his favourite brands releases one there’s no way would I get away with not giving it a go. That’s why I’m sat here writing about the Hot Octopuss ATOM.

Like I said, the Fella loves his Hot Octopuss stuff. I didn’t get along with my Queen Bee as much as I wanted to, though. The troubles I had with that toy run along a similar vein to those I have with vibrating cock rings. Continue reading “Hot Octopuss ATOM”

Vain Toys Mister Vain Dildo

If you’ve been around blogs, sex toy Twitter, or sex shop forums, you’ve probably been asked the following question; if you could only use one type of toy for the rest of your life, what would it be? I used to hesitate when faced with this query, but not now. Now I pretty much scream DILDOS then go on a panicked dildo buying spree. I love all kinds of dildos, but the best kind are the ones that are made especially for me. Colours, sizes, firmness, vac-u-lock holes, cumtubes, suction cups… It’s all customisable and bloody wonderful. The latest ‘made for me’ dildo to join my collection is the glorious Mister Vain Dildo by Vain Toys.

Vain Toys is a young, Denmark based company that makes lovely silicone dildos and butt plugs in a huge array of colours. Every step of the process, from sketching to pouring, is done in-house. While the shapes and sizes of each piece are non-negotiable, the rest is up to the customer. Once I’d made my choices, I had my dildo in my grabby hands within probably a week and a half. Speedy, and discreetly packaged, too. Continue reading “Vain Toys Mister Vain Dildo”

You2Toys Diamond Silicone Plug

Does your butt love a bit of bling? Yeah, mine does too. A friend of mine recently said that she thinks sparkly based butt plugs are going out of fashion. I called bullshit with a lot more intensity than the situation called for. But when you have stuff like this little gem – the You2Toys Diamond Silicone Plug from Orion – in your toy cupboard, it’s hard not to get defensive of a trend that’s still going strong.

One of my favourite things about this plug is its base. So many plugs I see when browsing through online toy shops (which is something I spend an inordinate amount of time doing) have bases that I wouldn’t consider anal safe. Squishy rings that ain’t ever stopping full insertion. Round bases that are the same size of or smaller than the bulb. And the worst of the worst, bases that are only marginally bigger than the neck of the toy. Continue reading “You2Toys Diamond Silicone Plug”

Satisfyer PRO 2 Next Generation

Hmmm, the Satisfyer PRO 2 Next Generation. I’ve had this thing sat in my review cupboard for ages. When it was first launched I was full of enthusiasm about it. But after reviewing a load of Satisfyer models and finding that I prefer Womanizer, I’m ashamed to admit that my interest in Satisfyer fell by the wayside.

But…

I found myself in need of some air pulse orgasms and the only thing I had to hand that didn’t have a flat as fuck battery was the PRO 2 Next Gen. Out it came, and then I came. Over. And over. And then once more just because. I realised then that I’d sold this thing short. I’d been mean. I’d put off using it (and therefore this review) in favour of using other suction toys. It didn’t deserve that from me, and neither did Peepshow Toys, who sent me the thing to review in the first place. Peepshow, I apologise. Continue reading “Satisfyer PRO 2 Next Generation”

Secret Play Oceanic Wakame & Nori Lubricant

I love sex toys. Not the most shocking of revelations, I know, but I do. I love them the way the Fella loves cars. He can wax lyrical about the shape of a headlight for hours on end, just as I can the shape of a vibrator. He often oooohs over the metallic finish of a paint job, and I do the same thing over the marbling of a hand-poured silicone dildo. But, in all fairness, sex toys aren’t vital to healthy, satisfying sex or masturbation. In my opinion, the only thing that is vital to good lovin’ is lube, and the most recent one to go a few laps around my bedroom is the Secret Play Oceanic Wakame & Nori Lubricant from Latex, Leather & Lace.

Another non-shocker is my love affair with Sliquid. It’s my go-to brand cos it’s easily accessible and there’s a type for pretty much every sex act I can think to perform. Well, apart from fisting. But I’m always on the lookout for something new. Something that comes close to Sliquid. Continue reading “Secret Play Oceanic Wakame & Nori Lubricant”

Fun Factory Stronic G Pulsator II

Well now. I’m quite sure that anyone who’s ever visited Scandarella before knows that one of my favourite brands is Fun Factory. Hand on a bible, I’d gladly swear that I’ve never tried a product of theirs that I haven’t loved. Some folks have asked why I bother reviewing Fun Factory stuff if I know the outcome before I even get a delivery, and my answer to those folks has consistently been, there’s always a first time. I mean, We-Vibe – another top five brand of mine – had a brilliant run of impressing me with their wares. Until they released the god-awful Gala, that is. I hated that thing. And that goes to show that there’s nothing stopping Fun Factory from disappointing me at some stage. The question is, would the Fun Factory Stronic G Pulsator II be the first of their products to wipe the adoring smile off my face?

If you’ve not come across a Fun Factory Pulsator before, you might need a little insight as to what these things actually are. They look very much like vibrators, but they’re not. Rather than vibrate they pulsate, hence the name. What happens is, magnets inside perform some kinda magic spell that causes the entire toy to shake. In use, that mimics a thrusting motion so Stronics are a bit like the world’s smallest hand-held sex machines. Kinda. Continue reading “Fun Factory Stronic G Pulsator II”

Womanizer InsideOut

It’s favourite brand time! I always get ridiculously excited when Womanizer releases a new model. Like, hold my breath so I don’t squeal like a poked pig kinda excited. But with the Womanizer InsideOut, my excitement was…I dunno, muted, I guess. Reason being, before I had a chance to try Womanizer’s first dual stim offering, I reviewed the Satisfyer’s. My experience with the PRO G-Spot Rabbit in terms of fit was less than wonderful and because of it, I approached the InsideOut from a place of prepared to be disappointed caution.

All of Womanizer’s products come tastefully packaged, but I was a bit blown away by the presentation of the InsideOut. The sleek black outer case has the subtlest of branding in the form of an easy to tear off and toss sleeve. Once that’s gone you’re left with a leather look box that’s held closed with magnetic snaps. Continue reading “Womanizer InsideOut”

Pipedream PDX Elite Vibrating Roto-Sucker

Every now and again, a sex toy will catch my eye and I’ll think, that looks awesome! Then I’ll have a read up on what it’s all about and I’ll think, yep, just as I thought; sounds awesome. So I’ll arrange to review it, get my paws on it, and probably eight times out of ten I’ll be like, I was right, this thing is awesome! But those other two times out of ten? Not so awesome. From the moment I opened the box for this Pipedream Extreme PDX Vibrating Roto-Sucker I was an unhappy Ella.

Okay, okay. I know there’ll be a few eyebrows raised as if to say, well what did you expect from Pipedream? I know they’re not the best, or even nearly the best company in the world, but I keep thinking, Icicles. Ceramix. Pure Aluminium. Those are all Pipedream brands and I love each and every one of them. I’d really hoped that I’d found another line of theirs that I, or rather that the Fella, could love. Continue reading “Pipedream PDX Elite Vibrating Roto-Sucker”

Blush Novelties Real Nude Ergo Mini

After I reviewed the Real Nude Suko by Blush Novelties way back when Scandarella was in its infancy, I vowed that I’d try another piece from the line someday. At the time, I hadn’t experienced anything quite as squishy or real feeling. Even now, with a bunch of super realistic Vixskin in my collection, I still have a soft spot for my Suko. That’s why, when Too Timid offered me the chance to review the Real Nude Ergo Mini, I couldn’t say no.

Real Nude is Blush Novelties’ dual density silicone line. Lovely, semi-realistic dildos with a firm core and a soft, pliable outer layer. The way the squishy stuff yields when squeezed, just for the hand (or orifice of your choice, of course) to meet the resistance of the inner core really does feel like squeezing an actual penis. Well, in my opinion, it does. It really does feel like skin being pressed into erectile tissue to me. Continue reading “Blush Novelties Real Nude Ergo Mini”

Sliquid Sassy Water-Based Lubricant

Welcome to my favourite lube! I cannot believe that I haven’t written a stand-alone review of this stuff yet. I mean, it is the best I’ve ever tried. Like, ever. I’ve tried so many lubes but time and again I keep coming back to Sliquid Sassy.

Why? Because it’s basically the one lube to rule them all. Yeah, it’s great to have silicone lube for playing in the bath, oily lube for hand-jobs, flavoured lube for blowjobs… but it’s always a good idea to have a do-it-all water-based lube in the bedside drawer, too. That way, you’re always prepared for spontaneous sex and gotta do it now masturbation.

Sliquid Sassy is that lube for me. There’s a 60ml bottle in my handbag, and in the Fella’s glovebox. There’s a 125ml bottle in his bedside drawer, and a 255ml one in mine. When one ends up empty it’s replaced by another of the same size.

The reason I love it so much is that it lends itself to every type of play. It’s a lovely thick gel which loosens up a little once warmed so provides good cushioning for anal. And for using large toys vaginally. It’s colourless, odourless and flavourless so is great for oral. Well, oral that’s performed on me, that is. I prefer to use flavoured lubes when I give BJs cos the taste of cum makes me wanna hurl. Continue reading “Sliquid Sassy Water-Based Lubricant”