This review has been four months in the making, folks. Four months of trying to get the Fella to drop his drawers so that I could get to work on his cock with one of the cute little masturbators from this Tenga Egg 6 Pack.
Don’t get me wrong, the boxers came down easily enough. But before I could say which texture do you want, he’d whipped the Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo out and declared it the toy of the day. He’s a spoiled brat when it comes to that thing, and I’m a sucker, so I reviewed the other things MEO had sent me instead. Well, it’s high time I got to telling y’all about these fab little eggs, so here goes… Continue reading “Tenga Egg Six Pack”
Photo courtesy of Modesty Ablaze
The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #97 Start with the rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~
A MISTRESS UNSEEN
Wrapped around his finger
~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~
The Storyteller’s Conundrum
~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~
Rainy Day Lover
*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy! Continue reading “Elust 97”
Drawing my silk gloves over my fingers and to my elbows, I gazed out at the beautiful scene before me. From the balcony, I could see almost half of the estate. The sun was just sinking behind the tall trees, it’s last hurrah making the koi pond glitter as though it was filled with diamonds.
A faint, far-off roar caught my ear and, closer, the discordant squawk of startled macaws. It was feeding time for my beautiful pets. And it was playtime for me. Continue reading “A Taste for the Exotic”
“Okay, we’re gonna play a game!”
I paused for a second or two, teeth poised not a centimetre away from my slice of pizza. Polly was on her feet by the day bed looking as excitable as a puppy. The other guys glanced at her, then away, getting on with what they were doing. I did the same, ripping into the pizza and chewing while I watched Vince play on the Wii. Continue reading “Last Man Standing”
Here’s a thing that didn’t occur to me until very recently: what if I wanted the luxury of a high-end vibrator, but disliked powerful, rumbly vibes? Nearly all fancy pants sex toys come with words like ‘powerful’ and ‘rumbly’ splashed over their product pages and packaging. That’s great for me, cos powerful and rumbly vibes are the best as far as I’m concerned. But what about those folks whose clits and bits recoil at the thought of thunderclaps on their genitals? How do they get their luxury with a side of gentle? Well, they could check out the Sky Alto by AVE.
Nine times out of ten, if I consider a sex toy to be beautiful, it’s a dildo. Vibrators can be fancy, sure, but I most often feel that they’re built for function rather than form. And rightfully so, a pretty vibrator would be pretty pointless if it didn’t deliver. Continue reading “SKY Alto by AVE”
Yesterday I offered you my thoughts on the Teddy Love Vibrating Bear. They weren’t the most positive of thoughts, and that’s understandable because it isn’t the best of products. In fact, it could well be the worst. Today, it’s the turn of the Teddy Love Heart-Shaped Butt Plug, and yes, my thoughts on this toy are just as grim.
This plug came to me along with the bear. It wasn’t bubble wrapped, nor was it wrapped in paper. I found it rattling around the feet of the bear in a little (open) Ziploc bag.
Anyway, when I’d spotted the plug on Teddy Love Toys’ website, I’d fallen for it hard. Stainless steel, rosebud bulb, and a heart-shaped base finished with a gorgeous caramel coloured glass gem. I do have a heart-based plug already, but the colour of this one was irresistible. Continue reading “Teddy Love Heart-Shaped Butt Plug”
There are some things in the world of Scandarella that are kinda givens. Awesome products. Shitty products. So mediocre I fell asleep while using them products. Products I love, ones I hate, and others that the Fella and I argue over because of our vastly different tastes and opinions. All of that I expect on a day to day basis, but one thing happened to me recently that I would never have expected in a million years. The thing that happened, is the Teddy Love Vibrating Bear.
Yep, if a fortune teller had looked into a crystal ball this time last year and told me they’d seen me riding the face off a teddy bear, sweaty, grunting, and in hot pursuit of an orgasm, I’d have said, “No, no-no-no-no, I stopped humping teddy bears as soon as I started humping humans.” Continue reading “Teddy Love Vibrating Bear”
You may have noticed by now, that the Fella is fond of anal play. Be it my butt or his, he’s always game for a spot of the bot. But, he’s not over keen on anything too long or too girthy and I don’t think he ever will be. I’m constantly on the lookout for toys that let me stick it to the man without making his eyes water, and a recent one to join the ranks of stuff he’ll have in him, is the FT London Gpop.
Arriving in FT London’s patriotic, tubular packaging, the Gpop is the second smallest vibrating butt toy we have, after the We-Vibe Ditto. From the tip of the p-spotting bulb to the base of the solid ring handle, it measures up at 5-inches. Its maximum girth is a very petite 3.5-inches. See, a super small anal insertable, suitable for the most inexperienced of butts! Continue reading “FT London Gpop P-Spot & G-Spot Massager”
Perching on the hotel bed, I listened to the bathwater I’d been pickling in for the last hour gurgle down the plughole. Damp air drifted in through the open bathroom door, carrying the scents of lemongrass and sandalwood with it. It lent a little warmth to the empty room, helped along by the votive candles that burned merrily on the bedside table. Continue reading “Alone with Myself”
In a recent conversation about Scandarella, one of the few friends I’ve actually told about it said, “Your site looks great, but how come nearly all the stuff you write about is dead expensive?” I could have told her it’s because they’re all made from body safe materials by reputable companies, but that sounded like bullshit even to me. You can get perfectly good silicone or glass or ABS toys these days for very little money. Luckily, I knew I had a lovely little vibe waiting in the wings for review, so I told her about the Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator.
I’m usually one to balk at battery operated toys. You can tell me I’ve been ruined by rechargeables all you like, the fact remains that, not only are batteries expensive and bad for the environment, but the vibes they put out are nearly always shite. Continue reading “Sh! Bliss G-Vibe G-Spot Vibrator”